Giving Back
by AlongTheBinding
Summary: Ponyboy wants to give back and ropes Sodapop and Darry into fostering a kid.
1. Giving Back

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders. S.E. Hinton does. I only own the characters I have created.**

**AN: This is my first fanfiction. I apologize if this sucks. There's a part in the book where Ponyboy sits down to write his theme and he talks about how it wasn't just a personal thing. I like the quote, but I don't want to get in trouble for posting that quote here. Anyway, it sort of gave me the idea for this fanfiction. Also, I'll try to keep the characters as much in character as I possibly can. However, like I said, this is my first fanfiction and I'm not used to writing other people's characters and on top of that the characters are older. Again, if this sucks, sorry. If not, enjoy...**

* * *

It had been years since the fountain and the drowning and the stabbing; years since running and the abandoned church on Jay Mountain in Windrixville and the fire. It had been years since the death of two friends and years since Ponyboy Curtis first wrote that theme that changed his life. After that theme, it set him right on the path of becoming a writer. That theme got him a lot of scholarships, internships, and recognition.

All that hard work had finally paid off and Ponyboy had gone through college. For Darry and Sodapop, it was hard for them to watch him go, but they couldn't have been more proud. Their baby brother was making something of himself and each time they heard his name, they would grin and say, "He's my brother."

Then came the phone call. "I'm coming home." Darry and Soda were thrilled. They missed him. Yet, at the same time, what did he mean coming home? He was supposed to be the one to get out of there and find that better life. And most importantly, when he found it, he was not supposed to come back! Darry and Soda did not work so hard for Pony to get stuck on the Eastside of Tulsa.

"Don't get us wrong," Sodapop told him as the three of them stood in the living room of the house they all grew up in, "We love having you, Pony. It's just we wanted more for you."

Ponyboy merely flashed a grin that could rival Sodapop's. "I actually used my head on this one." His brothers didn't seem so convinced. "I can still write here. My books alone bring in a decent income and the newspaper here has been holding a position for me for a while now."

Soda laughed. "Decent? I should say so! Your books are in every bookstore in America!"

Pony's face turned red. "I wouldn't go that far. They're only in a select few bookstores."

Darry cracked one of his rare grins, as was always the case whenever anyone mentioned Pony's writing. "But they are in bookstores, little buddy."

"Look," he told his brothers. "I write to help, to have an impact on someone's life, even if it is just one kid. Do you know how many kids are out there who were like us? I write because I have to. But, I also do it to make a difference. So maybe one less kid won't go down under street lights or for those kids who jump at their own shadows. Writing that theme all those years ago gave me a voice I never had before and it gave a voice to kids who otherwise did not have one. So maybe one less kid won't feel so alone. Everything we went through is still going on. The only things that changed are the names, the style and the terms. I want to help. I have to help. It's not just personal thing, you dig? So, I began volunteering and the problem's everywhere, but it's also here. Tulsa is home. It always will be and when I looked into the faces of those kids I was helping, I couldn't help but think there are kids back at home I could help."

Darry raised an eyebrow. "You came back here to volunteer?"

"I came back here to give back. And that includes giving back to you both. You both have given up so much for me to be where I am today. Let me pay you back. Soda, I know you and Steve have been saving up for your own garage. And Darry, I know you're working two jobs to save up to go to school full time rather than just the couple of night classes you're taking this semester."

Darry shook his head. "You mean literally pay us back?"

"Pony, we can't take your money." Soda shared Darry's thoughts.

"Please. It's as much yours as it is mine. It can help. Let me help financially while I'm here. Besides, wasn't it agreed I was to support you in your old age?"

Laughing, Pony dodged Soda's playful swing. Darry joined in. "We might be older than you, but we're still stronger." And the two of them mercilessly tickled Pony as he howled in laughter. After a couple of minutes, the youngest Curtis was panting out "Uncle, uncle!"

As Soda helped Pony up, he inquired after the type of volunteering he was looking into. "Well, I'm not looking into volunteering so much as," Pony bit his thumb nail hesitant to continue. Darry reached over and brought his younger brother's hand down from his mouth.

"As what, Pone?" Darry questioned, not sure where this was going.

"I was thinking of fostering a kid." He waited for their reactions.

Sodapop and Darry exchanged a look. Both opened their mouths at the same time and simultaneously spoke over one another. From what Pony could decipher Soda said something along the lines of, "We haven't had the state on our backs for some time and now you want to welcome them back?" And Darry's response was something like, "I already raised two brothers. I'm not interested in raising another kid for some time." They went on about money and room and did Pony really think this through, neither too thrilled about having some strange kid to look after.

Ponyboy simply laughed. "I already told you already. I actually used my head!" He spoke over his brother's rather loud protests to get them to listen. "Just hear me out. I would be the sole guardian. You would only be like uncles. I make a decent income to support a child and will contribute to the household. We have that spare bedroom. We would know what it's like for the kid. Hell, that kid could've been us. That kid could be Johnny."

"That kid could be Dally," Soda countered.

"You are too young for this, Ponyboy. You've got your whole life to live."

"Darry, you were younger than I am when you looked after Soda and I."

"Then I should know! And you ain't much older! You got to sacrifice a lot and I ain't willing to see you sacrifice all that! It takes a lot of hard work!" Darry's voice began to rise.

Ponyboy looked both his brothers in the eye. "This is important to me. I can do this. Gee, Darry, I've had a pretty good role model if you ask me."

Darry blinked, surprised by the compliment. Even Soda didn't expect that. Sodapop put his hand on Darry's shoulder. "We ain't gonna change his mind. You know as well as I that our baby brother is as stubborn as a mule." He flashed one of his famous smiles and turned to Ponyboy. "Uncle Soda. I like the sound of that. So, when do we get to meet the kid?"


	2. Meeting the Kid

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders. I do, however, own Ryan.**

* * *

Soda squirmed in his seat as the three of them sat in the office. All of them were uncomfortable, but Soda couldn't sit still if his life depended on it. Ponyboy was pretty nervous. He desperately wished for a kool, but didn't think lighting up in the room would be a good idea. He didn't notice he was chewing a nail, until Darry lowered his hand again. About a thousand what-ifs ran through all three heads.

A loud voice outside the door pulled them out of their thoughts. The exasperated voice shrilled, "Your hairs uncombed! You've got countless bruises! Your clothes are a mess! What kind of first impression do you think that will make?"

A younger voice replied innocently, "You're not supposed to judge a book by its cover."

The older first voice fired back, "Don't get mouthy! No one wants a smart-mouth kid! They'll take one look at you and think you're trouble!"

"According to you, I am." It didn't sound like he was trying to get mouthy. His voice was earnest and innocent.

"Just get in there!" And the door flew open. A woman who appeared as cold as her voice escorted a boy by the upper arm to a chair across from the Curtis brothers.

Just as the woman said, the boy's hair was uncombed. Wild was more like it. Long, tangled chestnut locks stuck out all over the place. Some strands fell into his face, which was badly battered. He sported a shiner, not to mention many other cuts and bruises. Diverting his eyes, he tugged mindlessly at the sleeves of his sweatshirt and focused a great deal of attention on the hole in the knee of his jeans.

The woman sighed heavily and rolled her eyes. "Please excuse Orion's appearance and rudeness!"

"It's Ryan." The boy corrected.

"Now try your full name," She curtly patronized the poor kid, not seeming to notice the glares she was getting from all three of the brothers.

Before she could continue, Pony introduced himself. "I'm Ponyboy and these are my brothers, Sodapop and Darry."

Ryan chuckled at Darry's name and tried to suppress a grin. "Orion!" The woman admonished loudly. Instantly, the smile was gone and they thought they saw him cringe ever-so slightly. But they couldn't be sure.

"It's Ryan." He corrected once more.

"That's okay." Pony cut off the woman again. "Normally we get that reaction to Soda's or my name."

"It's just," Ryan mumbled, tugging at his sleeves and hiding his face, "when you have such odd names, it's the normal name that becomes the odd one." The corners of his mouth twitched as he tried to fight a smile. But when he dared peer up at them through his hair, it was a losing battle as he met Soda's grin.

"Well when you put it like that," Sodapop chuckled and Ryan released a breath he didn't realize he was holding. "You got a full name, kid?"

Ryan nodded. "Ryan Simon Albright." He looked up suddenly. His eyes were bigger and darker than his hair. They were bright and seemed to have a quixotic nature to them. They were as innocent as his voice. "Do you?"

"Orion!" The woman shouted. Again there was an almost unnoticeable cringe. The smile disappeared and he diverted his eyes. "Do not get mouthy!"

"It's alright," Pony said a bit more harshly, but Darry stopped him from going further. None of them could stand this woman.

"I'm Darrel Shayne Curtis Jr." Darry introduced himself.

"Sodapop Patrick Curtis."

"Ponyboy Michal Curtis."

Ryan nodded slowly and lifted his head, but only to stare out the window. "So, now what?"

"Now we take you home." Ponyboy offered a smile, but it wasn't until they were far from the woman, that building and well on their way down the road, that Ryan allowed the smile to return. Though, it was small and nervous. He sat next to Pony, but spent the whole time staring out the window.

Darry glanced at the kid through the rearview mirror. "So, Ryan, how old are you?"

"Fifteen. My birthday was last month." Ryan kept his eyes glued to the passing scenery.

"Happy birthday. Do anything fun?" Ryan shook his head to Soda's question. "The scenery around here must be awfully fascinating."

Ryan's cheeks flushed and he turned from the window. "Sorry."

"It's alright, Rye," Soda turned around from his front seat, making Ryan smile with one of his own. "I'm just teasing you. You don't have to stop looking."

With permission he turned back to the window. There was a long silence when Ryan suddenly spoke again. "I like the colors. When the truck goes fast and everything blurs together. It's real nice, you know?"

"Yeah, I dig." Pony agreed. He knew exactly what Ryan was talking about.


	3. First Time

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders.**

**AN: Sorry this is so short. The next chapter is longer...**

* * *

"Is that all you have?" Darry asked, only realizing now that Ryan didn't even have a bag with him, only the clothes on his back by the looks of it. Ryan nodded, turning red.

"We'll go shopping later." Pony patted his shoulder and Ryan flinched, wincing. Quickly Pony withdrew his hand and shot a worried look to his brothers who simply shrugged.

"Once we get inside, I'll take a look at those wounds." Darry led the way into the house, but Ryan stopped short at the bottom step of the porch. All three turned to find him staring at them, frightened.

"I've never done this before," Ryan admitted, shifting from foot to foot nervously. "And I don't know what they've told you about me, but I'm guessing they lied about a lot, seeing how eager they were to get me out of their hair."

"We're new at this, too," Pony told him, holding the door opened. "Why don't we get to know each other a little and we'll show you around the place." Ryan nodded and cautiously walked pass them into the house.


	4. Spilt Milk and Shopping

**Disclaimer: The Outsiders are not mine. I do not own them.**

* * *

After they entered the house, the four of them shared an extensive awkward moment of silence, where Ryan glanced at every nook, cranny, corner and duct speck of the living room. Pony tried to think of something to say. Soda, as always, couldn't sit still. Though, the uncomfortable atmosphere had almost everyone shifting in their seats. Darry, at one point, got up to make dinner, which didn't go much better. All in all, they found almost nothing out about the kid, other than the fact he has never been to a foster home before and he had little to no appetite that night.

The next morning, while Darry poured himself a cup of coffee, he asked Ponyboy, "What do you even know about the kid?"

"According to the lady at the group home, he has no mother and he has a brother who is off at war." Pony dug into his slice of chocolate cake. "That's all I know."

Just then, Ryan appeared in the doorway, yawning and rubbing his eyes. His hair was worse than the day before, but it seemed to suit him. "Morning sleeping beauty," Soda greeted as he spread jelly on his scrambled eggs.

The kid looked lost as he watched from the doorway. Though his stomach growled audibly, to which he grinning sheepishly and put a hand tight against his middle, he didn't move. They wondered what he was waiting for. Pony thought, like with the window, he was waiting for permission. He finally gave it. "Help yourself to some cake and eggs and pull up a chair." Ryan seemed unsure, until Ponyboy pointed to the empty seat.

"Thanks," he mumbled to the floor as he sat down. There was already a plate of eggs and a glass of chocolate milk waiting for him. As he went to take a swig of the milk, his hands shook horribly. He just hoped none of them noticed.

Sodapop was talking about the garage he was going to open with Steve. Then, he turned to Ryan. "We could really use a hand. What do you say?"

"I don't really know much about cars," Ryan said between sips. "I'd probably just get in the way."

"Steve and I will teach you."

Ryan carefully set his glass down. Much to his horror, though, the second it left his hand, it fell, spilling everywhere. Everyone leapt up before it could pour into their laps, but Ryan froze, wide-eyed. Anticipation and dread filled his open-mouth gape. "I-I'm sorry…" He croaked out, sounding on the verge of tears.

"It's alright." Ponyboy assured him as he wiped up the floor.

"Shoot, Rye," Sodapop grinned as he wiped the table, "ain't no use crying over spilled milk."

Darry handed Ryan some paper towels. "You could help, rather than just sitting there."

Ryan nodded and cautiously began helping. Every once in a while he looked up expectantly at the three brothers. Once the mess was cleaned up, they went back to eating and chatting. Ryan, though, left his food untouched. He stared at them in awe and disbelief with much trepidation and anticipation.

Ponyboy noticed him waiting for something. Maybe he thought he needed permission again. "Finish up eating and we'll go to the store."

Ryan blinked in confusion. Slowly, he picked up his fork, his hand still shaking uncontrollably, and ate his food, watching them carefully. But he didn't touch his glass again.

At the store, Ponyboy leaned on the cart as they stood in front of the clothing section. Very quickly, it became evident that Ryan was not going to speak up about what he wanted or needed. In fact, he was so quiet at times, Ponyboy wondered if he was still breathing. By this point, Ponyboy was getting good at reading facial expressions and tone of voice. When he told the kid to pick something, he just stood there staring at the ground and shrugging a shoulder with an "I dunno." But when Ponyboy held up two shirts, Ryan would either mumble, "Okay, I guess" and "sure" stone-faced and bored or his eyes would flicker with interest if only for a brief moment and consideration would fill his voice as he gave a similar answer. When it was the latter, it was tossed into the cart.

They were heading to the checkout line with their cart filled of needed items, when Ponyboy noticed a look of longing on Ryan's face. Following the kid's eyes, he found himself looking at the art supplies. Despite the bright look for the first time, the kid kept his mouth shut. Veering off into the isle, Ponyboy stopped the cart. "You like to draw?" Hesitantly, Ryan nodded. "Then you'll need a sketchbook and some pencils. How about these?" Ryan nodded enthusiastically as he tried to hide a smile.

Once they got to the truck, Ryan immediately flipped open the sketchbook and began drawing. As soon as the tip of the pencil hit the paper, he could no longer suppress his ear-to-ear grin. For the first time, he seemed to relax. "Thanks."

Ponyboy glanced at him before returning his eyes to the road. "No thanks needed." The look on his face was thanks enough.


	5. The Nightmare

**Disclaimer: The Outsiders are not owned by me.**

* * *

Ponyboy was up late. Everyone else had gone to bed. His papers took over the kitchen table. Mountains of files and books were stacked on any flat surface he could find. And he sat among this organized chaos entirely engrossed by his work. He didn't mind the late hour. He probably didn't even notice the late hour. He felt fortunate that he loved his occupation.

The slam of the front door drew him out of his work. It was probably just Steve or Two-bit, he figured. Looking up, he expected to find one of them stretched out on the couch. Though, Steve was living in the apartment above the garage he opened with Sodapop. He planned on telling them to keep it down, since, like normal people, everyone in the house was asleep at midnight. Glancing at the clock, he scratched that last part… make that two. Of course, he'd probably get some smart retort about how he just called himself abnormal for also being up at this time and not asleep. But as he opened his mouth, he realized there was no one on the couch.

Curiously, he got up, peering down the hall where the bedrooms and bathroom were. Everything seemed alright. Darry's door was closed as always. Soda was hugging a pillow, snuggling it close to his chest. Pony's room was all in order. As he checked in Ryan's room, his heart stopped beating and he tried to tell himself not to panic. He scanned the room once more, but there was no sign of the kid.

Then he remembered the door. His mind was drowsier then he thought. Making sure there was no intruder in the living room, he pushed open the front door and immediately let out a breath of relief. Leaning against the railing of the porch was no other than Ryan.

Ryan's head was flung back as he let the cool nighttime air hit his face. His eyes were closed tightly in a pained expression and he trembled as he tried to catch his breath. When he heard the door shut behind Pony, he flinched, startled, glancing up with frightened, wet eyes. But he refused to let any tears fall. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up."

Pony sat down on the porch swing. "You didn't. I was finishing an article."

It was Ryan's turn to let out a relieved sigh. "Good."

"What are you doing up so late?"

Ryan looked down at his feet. "I just needed some air."

"Oh." Ponyboy studied him carefully. The anticipation and fear mixed with embarrassment. "Why's that?" Ryan kept his mouth shut. "Bad dream," Pony offered and Ryan nodded. "What was it about?"

Ryan sat down, back against a beam. He debated whether or not he should tell him. He eyed him suspiciously before warily answering, "War." He started trembling more.

Pony's eyebrows raised as he remembered Ryan had a brother who was off at war. "Was it about your brother?"

Ryan nodded. "It's been a while since his last letter."

Ponyboy couldn't imagine what it was like to have a brother at war. "I'm sure he'll send one as soon as he can." But he wasn't sure. He knew if Soda or Darry were in Vietnam they would write every day. He also knew, though, that not every brother was like Soda or Darry and he knew nothing about Ryan's brother. "Maybe you could send him a letter."

Ryan nodded and glanced up at the stars, hugging one of his knees to his chest. "The stars sure are pretty tonight." Ponyboy agreed. He could tell Ryan was fighting sleep and remembered all those times he used to wake up from nightmares. He suggested watching the stars for a few more minutes before heading back insider, which was fine with Ryan.

"You think he's looking at the same sky?" That it was as pretty there as it was here?

"It know it is." Ryan yawned, finding that thought comforting. In a matter of seconds, both drifted off to sleep.

Ponyboy woke as the sun hit his face. It was still a bit nippy and he looked over to see Ryan still fast asleep. Stretching as he stood up he remembered how he left the kitchen and the fact his article was not yet done. Darry was not going to be thrilled, but most importantly, the kid looked like he was freezing.

He grabbed a blanket from the couch in the living room and threw it over Ryan. The kid would probably be tired after waking up in the middle of the night. As he reentered the house, he was greeted by a rather irritated Darry. Just as Ponyboy predicted, Darry was unhappy about the state of the kitchen, that his article was not finished, and added to that what was Ponyboy thinking letting the kid camp out on the porch?

This made Ponyboy feel fourteen again and it irritated him to no end. "I ain't a kid anymore, Darry." He walked passed him and poured himself a glass of chocolate milk. Sodapop, who cut himself a slice of cake, laughed. Nothing says adult like downing a glass of chocolate milk and sporting a milk moustache. Ponyboy wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Ryan comes first. He had a nightmare. I had to make sure he was okay. He needed air. We fell asleep. And why am I explaining this to you? I don't need to justify anything to you."

"It was cold last night! The kid could get sick! You could get sick! I swear you still don't use your head! And I ain't your maid, Ponyboy! I don't want to be picking up your crap! You ain't being responsible! And that article- it's like your homework all over again! People get _fired _when they don't complete their work! What would you do if you were out of a job?"

Sodapop for the last few minutes tried to stop the argument. He hated when his brothers fought. It has gotten better over the years, but every once in a while it was like traveling back in time. Fed up with it, Soda shouted, "People also get fired for being _late_! Have either of you looked at the time?" Both turned to the clock, muttered a 'shit' and took off down the hall to get ready. As Soda finished his cake, he called after Pony, "I'm taking Ryan to the garage today."

"Tell Steve to take it easy with him." Pony shouted over his shoulder as he and Darry flew out of the house and seconds later the truck took off.

Ryan stumbled into the kitchen, yawning and rubbing his eyes. Sodapop grinned at him as he scraped off his plate and washed it. "Looks like it's just you and me today, Rye."


	6. The Garage

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders.**

**AN: And enter Steve... I apologize for no finer details about cars in this chapter and the chapters that follow, but I know nothing about cars.**

* * *

"I'll probably just get in the way or screw something up." Ryan mumbled as he followed Soda around the garage.

"You won't get in the way or screw something up." Ryan wasn't so convinced. Two things Soda very quickly found out about the kid were that he had no confidence and was terrified of screwing up. The kid walked on eggshells and didn't trust himself with anything. That and he always waited for permission. And he was quieter than Ponyboy and that was saying something. He filled Steve in, telling him all about the kid.

Steve, in all honesty, couldn't care less about some annoying brat. He didn't understand why Pony would want to have the state back in his brothers' lives. Darry gave up his whole future for his brothers. How could Pony ask him to look after another kid after Darry had finally got his life back? Then again, Steve never really understood anything Ponyboy did. Sure, Ponboy was no longer a tag-along, but Steve was not looking forward to having the role replaced by some strange kid. He sure as hell did not want some brat hanging around his garage, getting in the way, screwing things up, and causing trouble. And he wasn't too fond of the idea of getting stuck babysitting, which he just knew was inevitable. But Sodapop dragged the kid down there and was eager to have him help out, so Steve would put up with it and be nice to the snot-nosed little brat.

"This is Steve," Soda introduced them. "He's a real good buddy of mine, the best. A good guy to have around. And this," Steve could hear the pride in his voice as if this kid was actually his nephew, "is Orion Simon Albright. But he likes to go by Ryan." Ryan eyed Steve, not sure what to make of him. Steve already knew what he thought of that kid. He hated him.

"I have cars I need to drop off." Soda announced. Of course, Steve thought, rolling his eyes. "You're gonna stay here with Steve, Rye. Just do what he says and you won't get in the way and you won't make a mistake. And Steve…" Soda's look said it all.

"The kid will be fine." Steve promised as his friend retrieved the first car to drop off and left the two of them alone. "Come on," Steve led the way.

Ryan watched his feet as he followed Steve, stopping when Steve did. He dared look up and let out an impressed whistle. "That's one hell of a car."

"Just don't touch it. Go stand over there and don't do anything." Ryan obeyed, watching Steve with great fascination as he popped the hood. "What kind of name is Orion anyway?" Steve sneered. Just having the kid there was getting on his nerves and he just knew he would end up having to babysit.

Ryan shrugged. "Greek, I think. What kind of name is Steve?"

Steve opened his mouth to retort, when he remembered how Soda said the kid never meant to be mouthy. Steve, when Soda first told him this, wasn't so sure. But as he looked at the kid, he realized how serious and innocent his reply was. It still annoyed Steve, though and the kid was just lucky Soda thought so highly of him. "Just hand me a wrench."

Ryan froze in his spot, hesitating. As he looked in the toolbox he tried to figure out which tool could go best with the name. He didn't want to keep Steve waiting and he was afraid of guessing wrong, so he finally just picked up the whole tool box and carried it to Steve.

"Wrench!" Steve repeated, that much more irritated.

Ryan flinched and stepped back out of arms reach, before admitting to his shoes that he didn't know what a wrench was.

What idiot didn't know what a wrench was? But the Steve saw Ryan's reaction and felt a twinge of sympathy. The kid looked expectant, like he was anticipating something and guessing by his reaction and the state of his face, Steve had a feeling he knew what Ryan was waiting for. Steve looked at him funny. "Kid, I ain't gonna hurt you over a stupid wrench." Ryan didn't move. "If you don't come over here I can't show you what a wrench is, can I?" Ryan cautiously came beside Steve. "You really don't know what a wrench is?" Ryan shook his head, blushing. "Well, this is a wrench," Steve held up a wrench and went on to explain the different tools.

After the explanation, he told Ryan to go back over there and do nothing. Ryan, however, stayed right where he was, very interested in what Steve was doing. "What exactly are you doing?"

Steve started to explain and Ryan listened to his every word. Soon, they were deep in conversation and by the time Sodapop returned after finishing dropping off the cars, Steve and Ryan were both covered in grease stains, animatedly discussing the car and Ryan was helping Steve fix the engine.

"The kid's a fast learner," Steve wiped his hands as he left the kid to tighten up a few things.

"Aw, you like him." Soda teased his friend. "Hey, Rye. Lunch break."

Ryan looked up grinning from ear to ear. "If we skip lunch we could get her done quicker." Sodapop was impressed. The only time he ever saw Ryan smile like that was when he was drawing and he seemed to really enjoy the work.

"It'll be there when we get back." Soda managed to coax Ryan to take a break and go out to lunch with them.

When they sat down in the booth at the diner, Ryan stole one of the waitress's pencils and began drawing on the napkin, the grin never leaving his face. Ryan told Soda all he learned about the car, starting each sentence with "did you know." Steve was right, he learned fast. He was like a sponge. Of course, Soda already knew it all, and added in some new information.

A waitress came around, instantly flirting with Sodapop. "What will you have, handsome?"

Sodapop flirted back as he and Steve ordered. They waited on Ryan, who glanced over the menu twice, his finger tracing prices. It didn't escape Sodapop's and Steve's notice that he ordered the cheapest thing on the menu, a glass of water and a side of four mozzarella sticks.

"Now that ain't a very wholesome lunch!" Soda exclaimed. "He'll have a hot fudge sundae and a coke."

Steve rolled his eyes. "And a burger with fries."

"Ain't that expensive?" Ryan asked concern.

"Don't worry about it, Rye." Ryan was unsure, but went back to his drawing. He was still very clearly worried about it. "Whatcha drawing?" Soda tried to get his mind off of it. Ryan flipped the napkin around for him to see. His eyes widened in amazement. "Steve, check it out." Steve seemed equally impressed. "That's one tuff looking drawing. You got that engine down perfectly." The compliments made Ryan beam. It dawned on Soda that Ryan might not have gotten very many compliments before. "We're gonna hang this in the garage." Soda decided, earning an even wider smile from Ryan.

When the food came, Ryan scarfed it down, eager to get back to work. "Glory kid," Steve laughed, "slow down before you choke. The car's not going anywhere." Ryan didn't slow down and when it was time to close up for the night, Ryan didn't want to leave. It took a lot of coaxing and the promise that Soda would bring him back.

"Did you have fun?" Ryan nodded as Soda ruffled his already messy hair.


	7. A Shoe In

**Disclaimer: The Outsiders are not mine. I do not own them.**

**AN: Two-bit, ladies and gentleman...**

**And I've gotten my first two reviews! :D You can't imagine how excited that made me!**

* * *

Ponyboy was sitting at his desk at the paper when the phone rang. The first rings went unheard, but the second to last ring finally caught his attention. "Ponyboy Curtis," He answered distractedly as his eyes scanned over his work.

"Mr. Curtis, you must come down to the high school this instant and pick up your child." Ponyboy blinked in confusion. It hadn't even been a half hour since he dropped Ryan off for his first day. What could have possibly happened in such little time that would warrant a call to him?

"Is everything okay?" Ponyboy's concern was clear to hear.

"We'll discuss that once you come in." And the line was dead. That was not very reassuring. Pony quickly gathered his stuff and told his boss he had to pick up his kid. His boss was not happy, but understood and let him go.

As he drove to the school, he tried to think of what Ryan could have possibly done. Not even Two-bit managed to get in trouble that fast. He cringed inwardly as he thought of all the stuff he and the gang did when they were students at that school. He sure hoped Ryan didn't do any of that.

If Ryan was sick or hurt they would have told him. But the way the principal said it made it sound like Ryan committed some horrible crime. He knew Ryan wasn't thrilled with the prospect of school, but Ryan was not the kind of kid who would do anything to purposefully piss someone off. Hell, he was terrified of pissing people off.

Ponyboy walked into the front office to find Ryan slumped in a chair. Once he saw Pony was there, he diverted his eyes and lowered his face, hiding behind some strands of hair. The secretary told Ponyboy to have a seat, which he took beside Ryan.

"Ryan," Ponyboy made sure to keep his tone even. Ryan was clearly terrified. "What happened?"

Ryan shrugged. "I'm not really sure." His mumbles were almost inaudible.

"Mr. Curtis," The principal called them into the office. Sitting on the opposite side of the desk beside Ryan made him feel like a kid again. Suddenly, he really wished he had a kool. "Orion…"

"Ryan," Ponyboy corrected. Ryan gave a grateful, small turn of the lips. All his teachers were determined to call him 'Orion', no matter how many times he corrected them.

"Orion…" The principal continued.

"He goes by Ryan," Ponyboy said a bit more firmly. What did Ponyboy have to fear? He was an adult with a respectable journalist career and published books in a select few bookstores. So why did he feel like a kid? You're being ridiculous, he told himself.

"…has broken the dress code." The principal sneered in disdain, glaring at Ryan.

Ponyboy looked Ryan over. He could identify nothing that would be considered inappropriate. Moreover, even if his clothes did breach the dress code, why on earth did Pony have to come running from work? "How so?"

"He came into his first period class wearing no shoes." Ponyboy looked down and sure enough the only thing on Ryan's feet were socks. "I cannot have students running around here with bare feet."

"My feet aren't bare," Ryan replied, earning a threatening glower from the principal and a shake of Pony's head, telling him not to go further.

The principal continued, luckily letting Ryan's, albeit innocent, comment slide. "It is a safety hazard and most importantly I will not tolerate this insolence and refusal to abide by school rules!"

"You've got to be kidding me!" Ryan cringed, thinking Ponyboy was directing that at him. "You called me out of work because Ryan isn't wearing shoes!" Ryan looked up, shocked. Pony's anger was not at him. Ponyboy couldn't believe what he was hearing. Out of all the things Ryan could've possibly done and they call him about shoes! Gritting his teeth, he was sure his head would explode. "If he puts his shoes on, can he go back to class?"

"I can't." Ryan's voice was quiet.

"You can't what?"

"Put my shoes back on."

"Why?"

Ryan haltingly explained. "I gave them away."

Ponyboy and the Principal stared at him as he sunk further into his seat. "What? Why? To who?"

"Some guys stole this kid's shoes." Ryan had seen a group of guys, very clearly from the West side, surround a kid. The pinned the kid to the ground and stole his shoes. The shoes themselves were practically falling apart as it was. It wasn't like the kid could afford a new pair and those bastards probably knew it too. The kid would probably catch hell if he came home without his shoes. "He needed them more." But that was all Ryan was going to say. He wasn't about to tell the whole story. He was no rat. When the principal demanded the name of the kid he gave his shoes to, Ryan refused.

The principal cleared his throat, authority radiating off him like a bad smell. "Take the day to get him a new pair. He can come back when he has shoes on his feet."

Ponyboy looked at the older man on the other side of the desk in disbelief. Ryan should have been commended, not punished. "You are going to suspend the kid because he did the right thing? Because of an act of kindness? Over a lousy pair of shoes?"

"For not complying with school rules and insubordination in refusing to supply names." The principal stood up, holding the door open. "I'm going to have to ask you to leave. I'm very busy."

"Come on, Ryan." Ponyboy led him out to the car. It was unbelievable! He shut the door of the truck with a slam, causing Ryan to jump out of his skin. Apprehensively, Ryan waited, holding his breath. Now that they were alone, he was sure Pony's anger was going to be directed at him. As Pony took a deep breath to calm himself, he did the last thing Ryan expected. He began to laugh. Once he calmed down, it was impossible not to see the humor in it. It was just so absurd! Ryan stared at him like he was crazy as Pony wiped his eye and drove home.

Once they got there, Ponyboy was glad to see Two-bit stretched out on their couch. After some quick introductions, he got Two-bit to watch Ryan while he headed off to work, saying he would pick up another pair of shoes when he got home and that Ryan couldn't give this next pair away because he didn't have enough money to shoe every kid in the school.

Ryan liked Two-bit. Of course, it helped that every other thing out of Two-bit's mouth was a joke. "So, what did you do to win this lovely vacation, kid? Get in a fight? Prank the principal? And under a half hour." Two-bit let out an impressed whistle. "That even breaks my record." When Ryan told him, Two-bit fell on the floor in hysterics. "I can understand if your feet stunk, but that's crazy!" He said between laughs.

Ryan failed to see what was so funny. He was mostly filled with dread, sure that at some point someone was going to _not_ find it funny as well. "I guess I ought to get packing." Ryan headed off to his room.

"Why? Where are you going? Pony said to stay here." Two-bit followed him and leaned on the door frame as he watched Ryan gather his stuff.

"They're sending me back, aren't they?" Ryan tried to swallow the rock growing in his throat and blink the sting out of his eyes.

"Why would they do that?"

"Because the people at the group home and my father are right. I'm too much trouble." He wiped his eyes bitterly with the back of his hand.

Two-bit slung an arm around Ryan's shoulders. "The Curtis brothers aren't gonna give up on you and you shouldn't give up on them neither. They would never send you back. And you ain't trouble. Why, when I was your age…" And Two-bit went on colorfully sharing stories about the whole gang and all the trouble they ever got into.

* * *

**AN: As a side note that could probably be skipped, this was inspired by real events. My brother did actually get in trouble for coming to class without one of his shoes. This kid in his class stole his shoe and refused to give it back. So in my brother comes to math class and the teacher writes him up for not having his shoe, not the other kid for stealing my brother's shoe mind you, but my brother. Needless to say my mom was not at all happy with that teacher.**

**I also got both my shoes stuck in a tree once before school... but that's another story...**


	8. Gopher and Lion Productions

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders. I do however own Ryan, his brother, and his brother's buddies.**

**AN: I got two more reviews! :D I really enjoy reviews. I also enjoy seeing so many views on my story! It's sort of like the lottery. I love seeing how many people have viewed my story. Anway, thank you to all who have reviewed! There might not be some Pony and Ryan fluff for a couple of chapters, sorry. But I will definitely see what I can work out. We are going to get to know Ryan a bit more.**

* * *

Yawning, Ryan stumbled into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes. Like most mornings, he woke up just as Darry left for work. By the time he made it down the hallway, Darry's truck was already pulling out of the driveway. But like every morning, he was greeted by the two other Curtis brothers. He enjoyed it greatly. He was starting to get comfortable with Pony and Soda. He found himself smiling more easily and more often and wasn't cringing or flinching as much as he used to around them. Darry, however, was another story. Darry was more of a ghost, and when he did appear, Ryan tended to be wary of him.

As he watched Sodapop and Ponyboy, he couldn't help but grin. Though he was still on guard about everything, he liked it here with the Curtises. "You know," Ryan took a very careful sip of his chocolate milk with both hands, not wanting a repeat of before, "I've heard a lot of horror stories about foster homes, but you guys remind me more of Gopher."

"Did you just call us gophers?" A humorous smile played at Soda's lips.

Ryan blinked in confusion. It took a second for him to realize how that must have sounded. "No," he chuckled. "Sorry, I meant Christopher. He's my brother. Christopher Jason Albright. When I was younger I had trouble pronouncing his name. I've always called him Gopher. You would like him." After ensuring the glass was steady on the table, he retrieved his sketchpad from the living room. As he returned to the kitchen, he flipped it around for the two of them to see. "He looks kind of like this, only more human." The two brothers stared at a cartoon anthropomorphic gopher. It was an impressive piece and left them in awe.

"You drew this?" Pony was amazed. He had seen Ryan work diligently in his sketchbook, but rarely ever saw his finished work. The drawing was incredible.

Ryan merely shrugged. "Gopher is really great at voices. I used to tell him he ought to go into voice acting. He used to say we'd go to Hollywood and make it big. I would draw the cartoons and he'd do all the voices. We'd call it Gopher and Lion productions. He always calls me Ryan the Lion." He looked down at his drawing, sounding forlorn as he mindlessly traced the lines with his finger. "That was before he got drafted. He said we'd live the dream when the war is over. He said he'd try for custody." Hope passed his face as he glanced up at Pony and Soda.

"He sounds like a good guy," Pony smiled encouragingly.

"I don't think it looks good, but Gopher always gets a kick out of them." They could tell he honestly didn't think very highly of his own work. "He's always asking for a picture in his letters, so I send him some. I like doing it and I'm happy to comply, but they aren't great. Sometimes he asks for pictures of his buddies, like…" He flipped to another drawing, this time of a grasshopper "…his buddies Hopper and Tre…" He showed another one of a tree. "Tre and Hopper and he go far back. They've been best buds since they could crawl." He turned to a couple more. "Sometimes he asks for drawing of the guys he fights with. He says his whole squadron has some of my drawing and tells them one day they're going to be worth a whole lot of money when I'm a big shot cartoonists. That's why he tells me to sign them all. I think he's nuts."

"Based off everything you showed us, I agree with your brother." Pony told him and Ryan's face lit up.

"You'll give Disney a run for his money." Soda agreed. He sifted through the sketchpad and started to laugh. "Hey, Pone." He held up the drawing of a grizzly bear who was undeniably Darry. "Rye got him down to a T."

"You too apparently," Pony flipped the page and turned it to Soda. It was a drawing of a wild, young stallion.

Throughout the sketchpad were drawings of everyone in the gang. Pony was an owl, normally reading or with a notebook and journalist hat. Two-bit was an energetic monkey and Steve was a tuff looking car. They were not only impressed by his work, but also that he was beginning to open up and he beamed at their compliments.

* * *

**AN: This side note could probably be skipped, but for those who were curious from the last chapter about how I got my shoes stuck in the tree, I thought I'd share what happened. If your uninterested, ignore this author's note then. So it was before school and the teachers made all the students wait outside. We couldn't come into the buildings, not even to go to our lockers, until the bell rang and they came outside to let us in (stupid rule). Anyway, a bunch of kids got a ball stuck in a tree. There were no rocks or anything to try and knock it down. Of course, logic would dictate you then you use your shoe. Well, unfortunately, not only did it not get the ball down, but it got stuck itself. So, I tossed my other shoe up there to try to knock the shoe now stuck in the tree down (not one of my most brilliant ideas, though it did get the ball down). The second shoe got snagged on a branch. By second period, the janitor had my shoes down. Now, some may think why not just ask the janitor to retrieve the ball. The answer to that question is he was not the nicest guy and apparently would retrieve shoes from tall trees, but no playground equipment. Why not get another ball? Because there weren't any other ones available for us. Not a great story, some may say a rather stupid one, but other might find it entertaining.**


	9. Dr Art

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders.**

**AN: WOO! HUZZAH! Another review! That was quick! :D Thank you! Now onward with the story...**

* * *

The whole gang was at the house when Darry came stomping in. The door slammed behind him, causing Ryan to jump as he lounged on the couch. He let out a frustrated sigh as he grimaced at the dark line that now crossed through his masterpiece.

"Here," Pony, knowing how long Ryan spent on the drawing, put the book he was reading down and grabbed the eraser to help him eliminate the line without ruining any other part of his drawing. He had enough experience with his own drawing to accomplish such a feat. Reluctantly, Ryan relinquished the pad, a true test of trust.

Soda, Steve, and Two-bit played a game of cards with aces stashed up sleeves and down socks and the side of shoes. "What's got your panties in a twist?" Two-bit cocked an eyebrow as Darry dropped his backpack next to his recliner and plopped down himself.

"Shut it!" Darry snapped, startling Ryan. Everyone else simply snickered, returning to their game and art. They knew better than tease Darry when his eyes were ice and his face turned fifteen shades of red.

Only Soda dared tease him. As Darry grabbed for the newspaper, Soda mocked a parental tone, even putting his hands on his hips and all, grinning like crazy. "Did you finish your homework, young man?"

Darry couldn't help but grin himself, despite the bad mood he was in. "I'll finish you!" He thwacked Soda on the head with the paper.

"They're just fooling around," Pony whispered to Ryan to put him at ease as he handed the drawing back good as new. Ryan tensed up, nails digging into his pad nervously as his focus was now on Darry and Soda rather than his drawing.

Overhearing Pony's reassurance and seeing the expression of Ryan's face, Soda jumped in. "Yeah, Rye, Darry wouldn't hurt any of us."

"Just as long as you don't call him all brawn and no brains," Steve grumbled, rubbing the spot on his jaw where Darry punched him all those years ago.

It was the first time Darry noticed Ryan's reaction and immediately any frustration, irritation, and anger dissipated. He blinked in surprise, hearing and seeing for the first time that the kid was scared of him. Sure he wasn't as easy going as Two-bit or gentle as Soda and Pony and talking about cars didn't crack his hard outer shell like Steve. Yes, he was the oldest and biggest and toughest and one look at him told anyone he wasn't someone to mess with. Maybe he did come across as cold and perhaps he hadn't spent as much time with the kid as the others, but he had to admit, it hurt to see the fifteen year old look at him that way. He wasn't that scary, was he?

He met the kid's eyes and watched as fear of him turned to sympathy. Ryan shook his head as though returning from somewhere distant. He returned his attention to his sketchpad, trying to relax again, mumbling sorry.

"No reason to apologize," Two-bit told him, throwing his cards down. "Darry sure does look like a tough ol' greasy grizzly."

This was not helping. "Can it, Two-bit." Everything returned to normal. The small blip was forgotten by everyone except Darry and Ryan.

"You had that art class tonight, right?" Pony asked as he marked his spot in his book. "How'd you do?"

Darry scowled dangerously. He found it ridiculous that the college was making him take art in order to earn his degree. It was either that or music and art seemed to be the lesser of two evils. The courses he didn't enjoy, he normally tolerated and almost every class he excelled at. He prided himself on his immaculate GPA and had his eyes on that degree. He was sure he could even survive the more tedious general education requirements, but that art course was killing him! _His Kryptonite_, they took to calling it. He was about to snap, "how do you think I did", but decided against it as he shot another glance at Ryan.

Instead, he unzipped the backpack and took out a rolled up piece of paper. Sucking up his pride, he handed it to Pony, an almost pained expression on his face. Lucky for him, he had an understanding instructor who let him fix it to boost his grade. Slowly, Ponyboy unrolled it and instantly he bit his lip. It was something close to a toddler's scribble and chicken scratch. "Gee, Darry, that's really…uh… a good start." The rest of the gang was unsuccessfully trying to suppress their actual reactions to his paper.

Ryan glanced over Ponboy's shoulder, his eyes squinting and a smile playing at his lips. "It's abstract," he murmured, turning back to his drawing.

Ponyboy laughed. "I don't think that's what his teacher's going for."

Ryan shrugged. His eyes never left his pad and though his words seemed to flow freely, he still sat a bit stiffly. "Art isn't meant to be dictated by one individual. Whole art movements were founded by people who did not follow the rules. Art is more than the directions on the top of the page. It looks great to me."

"Unfortunately, you aren't my art instructor." Darry turned toward Ponyboy. He couldn't bring himself to plead, but Pony seemed to read his desperate face.

"I'll see what I can do." He grabbed one of the erasers and pencils from Ryan's pile on the seat next to him. Pony paused for a moment and turned the paper around. After reexamining it, he flipped it again, but still made no movement to edit. "Um…Darry? What exactly is it?"

Darry frowned. "A hand."

"Oh." Ponyboy stared at the lines, trying to make sense of it. "And which part is the top?" Darry stared hard at his drawing. Finally he shrugged, giving up. "Right." And Pony started to erase.

He finished just as everyone was heading off to bed. It wasn't perfect and Pony managed to use the majority of Darry's original lines, but it would get a decent enough grade and the instructor could see it was still mainly Darry's work.

Darry thought about the way Ryan was looking at him. It bothered him that Ryan was acting so afraid of him. He wasn't sure what to do, but he knew he had to fix it.


	10. Shedding Some Light

**Disclaimer: The Outsiders are not mine. I do, however, own Ryan, Gopher, Tre, and Hopper.**

**AN: YAY reviews! I'm glad you enjoyed the whole shoe thing! :D I'm thinking there might be some Pony and Ryan fluff after this. Also, just a reminder, the gang does not know much about Ryan. As Pony said before, the only thing he knows is that Ryan's mother is dead and his brother is at war. Keep that in mind.**

* * *

Knock! Knock! Steve opened the door to find a trembling fifteen-year old. It was below freezing and he was pallid and shivering, with no jacket and his nose and cheeks were bright red. "Glory, kid!" Steve immediately pulled him inside, to the warmth of the apartment and sat him on the couch.

"I-I-I-I'm s-s-s-sorry," Ryan's teeth chattered as he hid his face and diverted his eyes. "I-I-I-I di-didn't kn-know wh-wh-where e-else to go."

From the other room Steve's girlfriend, Evie, called out, "Who was it?"

Ryan's eyes went wide. "I-I-I sh-shouldn't h-have c-c-come ." He got up, rubbing his arms.

"Sit down! You ain't going nowhere!" Steve tossed him a blanket. "I ought to beat the tar out of you right now!" When he saw the flash of fear in Ryan's eyes, he added quickly, "I ought to, but I won't. You're just damn lucky Soda's so fond of you! Anyone else and I'd lay you flat! What were you thinking…"

"Steve," Evie whined from the other room.

Once more, Steve ignored her. "Do Soda and them know where you are?" Ryan shook his head. Muttering some curses under his breath, he trudged over to the phone and began to dial. "What the hell are you doing walking alone at night in the cold without even a coat on?"

"I can't go back," Ryan mumbled. "Please don't call them. They'll be mad." The pleading desperation in his voice and eyes was almost enough to make Steve hang up the phone, but he didn't.

"Damn right they'll be mad! They'll think you're halfway to Windrixville by now!"

Ryan eyed the front door, thinking this perhaps was not such a great idea. He was on the verge of tears as he considered what everyone's reaction would be. "You don't understand," he choked out.

Steve caught the look on his face. "I don't care if you stabbed a guy in the park and got caught up in a murder rap! You're sitting tight until they get here!" He turned his attention to the phone. "Ponyboy, I've got the kid. At least he had enough sense to come here, even if he didn't bring a jacket." He held the phone some distance from his ear, wincing at the shouting on the other end. Ryan watched, hearing it, in sheer terror. "Jesus, Pony, you sound like Darry! The kid's scared shitless about something. Said he couldn't come home." He hung up the phone, eyeing the kid and Ryan sunk further into the couch. "They'll be here shortly. I'll heat you up some soup. Now don't move if you know what's good for you."

Just as he went into the kitchen, Evie came flying out of nowhere, putting on her shoes. "Damn you Steve, you-" and she shouted a string of colorful curses. She stopped short, but not before most of it was out of her mouth, when she saw Ryan shivering on the couch beneath a blanket. "Oh."

"If he picks up your vocabulary Soda, Darry, and Pony will knock my block off." Steve called from the kitchen.

"Good!" Evie called back. "I ought to knock your block off!"

"Just keep the kid company!"

She sat down next to Ryan on the couch. "Gee, kid. You don't got to be afraid of me. I don't bite." She grinned and Ryan blushed.

Giving her puppy dog eyes, he gave a small smile. "Steve sure was right about you. Gosh, you're pretty."

She giggled, giving him a suspicious look. "He said that?"

Ryan nodded. "Sure he did. He really likes you a lot. Said a lot of really nice stuff about you. When he was talking to Soda, he couldn't shut up about how wonderful you were."

"What's a nice boy like you doing at a no good hood's apartment?" Evie asked him, grinning and falling for his charm.

Ryan's eyes narrowed and his eyes flashed. "Steve's not a no good hood!" Evie was surprised by this outburst of loyalty and Ryan softened his voice. "Normally Gopher, my brother, would send me to Hopper and Tre's. They were his buddies and they'd let us crash at their place until we could come home again. But they're all at war now and I didn't know where to go. Steve said he'd help me out if I needed it. He's like Hopper and Tre, a real good buddy."

"Well, what did you do that was so horrible that you had to run away?"

Ryan hung his head, his voice almost inaudible. "I broke a lamp."

Setting down a steaming bowl of chicken noodle, Steve laughed. "Is that all? If we ran every time we broke a lamp, no one would ever be at the Curtis house."

Evie got up, wrapping her arms around Steve, leading him on, only to pull away too quickly with a laugh. Steve seethed in silent annoyance. He hated it when she did that. "I've got to get going. Call me." And she left with a slam of the door.

Between sips, Ryan mumbled, "Sorry for ruining your night."

Steve turned his attention away from the door and shrugged. "Would've happened anyway. Be careful what you say to her. You could ruin my rep."

Ryan chuckled. "Girls like that kind of stuff. They eat it up. I used to do it all the time for Gopher, Tre, and Hopper."

"Really?" Steve cocked an eyebrow. "They sent a kid to sweet talk their girls for them?"

"I figured I owed them after all they done for me. Besides, it didn't hurt anything; it worked; and it wasn't like I was lying."

"What about all that crap you said to Evie? I didn't say any of that."

"She doesn't need to know you were talking about how great she was in bed."

"You weren't supposed to hear that!"

"Then you and Soda should not talk so loudly when I'm in the other room or when I'm helping out in the garage. It's nothing I haven't heard before, anyway. I grew up with Hopper and Tre, and Gopher ain't no saint either."

"You could give her the wrong idea."

Ryan rolled his eyes. "It's not like I said you'd give up your love of cars for her."

"Was it true what you told her about your brother and his buddies?"

Ryan nodded. "Normally, if I did something to piss off my old man, Gopher would try to take the blame or do something to draw his attention off of me." If Ryan spilled his milk, Gopher knocked his over too. If Ryan broke a lamp, Gopher would say it was him who did it. "When it worked, he'd buy me enough time to get away. Then he'd come later. If I didn't go when Gopher said to he and Hopper and Tre would get real mad at me. I would do anything, even take my old man's beatings, if it meant Gopher wouldn't be mad at me." Steve realized Ryan looked at Gopher like Johnny had looked at Dally or how Ponyboy looked at Sodapop. "But Gopher ain't here to protect me and I got scared. So I ran."

"Shoot, kid. Pony, Soda, and Darry ain't gonna hurt you like that, no matter how pissed they might get and they sure ain't gonna get that pissed over a damn lamp."

Just then the door flew open and Ryan was engulfed in hugs by all the Curtis brothers, who spoke incoherently over each other and a million miles a second about the dangers of walking alone at night without a coat, what on earth he was thinking, did he know how worried they were and he scared them something awful!

Pony gave Steve an unnecessary thanks. As they were about to step out the door to take Ryan home, Steve took Pony aside and told him what Ryan said.


	11. Resulting Cold

**Disclaimer: The Outsiders are not owned by me in any way.**

**AN: Thank you for the kind words from the reviewer! I'm glad you are liking Ryan and I just hope I can keep the characters perfect as the story progresses! :D Also, I'm not sure if this would count as Pony and Ryan fluff...**

* * *

"How's the kid?" Steve asked as he worked underneath one of the many cars at the garage. Business was going well, but they still weren't sure if that had more to do with how great Steve was at working with cars or how Soda attracted all the girls .

"Rye is still sick." Soda popped the hood and began tinkering with another car. Ryan's little late night excursion resulted in a cold. The kid was miserable, not that he complained. The only thing that made him feel any better was drawing. Paper and pencil proved to be the best medicine and his room was covered with his pictures.

"I could just kill his father!" Steve knew Soda would, too, if he got the opportunity. All of the gang wanted to hunt that man down and kill him. "Pony's always so gentle with Rye and Darry's never even raised his voice to him. We can't seem to get it through to him that we love him and we ain't gonna hurt him. I just wish he'd trust us." Soda sighed and stopped working as he thought.

"Give it time, Soda." Steve gave his friend a sympathetic look. "It has to be hard when the only person you trust is halfway around the world and you're living in a house with complete strangers."

"Yeah," Soda agreed sadly. "But everything was going so well. We just don't know what to do."

Ponyboy felt like he was back to square one with Ryan. He was terrified when he had come home and couldn't find Ryan. He was never so scared in his life. And he had never been so relieved as when Steve called. He had a new respect for what Darry and Soda went through when he and Johnny ran to Jay Mountain, and with Ryan it was only a couple of hours.

And Pony just couldn't understand why Ryan took off. Everything was going so well. They made so much progress. Ryan even compared them to his brothers. He couldn't figure out what happened. And all because of a stupid lamp.

"Ryan," Pony came into Ryan's room with a steaming bowl of soup and glass of orange juice. "You hungry?"

Ryan looked as miserable and horrible as he felt. "Sure. Thanks." He still wouldn't look Pony in the eye. He put his drawing to the side to accept the food. Even if he wasn't hungry he would take the food.

"I'm going to feel your forehead, okay?" Pony found that when he gave Ryan a warning that he was putting his hand anywhere near his face, Ryan didn't flinch or cringe as much. "You're still really warm."

"Sorry," Ryan mumbled as he sipped the soup.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. It's not like you were trying to get sick or you have control over you temperature." They had been over this before with Ryan apologizing profusely over everything, especially when he found out Ponyboy was taking off work to take care of him. Ryan was very much surprised. He couldn't believe everything Ponyboy was doing for him, but he was also extremely apologetic, about everything, including something as simple as making him soup.

"I think we should talk about what happened." Ponyboy sat on Ryan's bed. Ryan didn't say anything, just sipped his soup. He had been attempting to avoid the conversation to the best of his abilities. "I know you don't want to talk about it, but maybe then you can just listen." Again, no response.

"You really scared us when you took off like that. We didn't know where you were for hours. And just taking off like that- that's dangerous. The neighborhood ain't exactly the safest. You could've been jumped. You could've gotten hurt." Ponyboy kept his voice calm, even, and gentle. "And it's freezing. Without your coat, you're lucky the only thing you caught was a cold. You went to Steve's and that was good. It was a safe place to choose and I'd prefer his apartment to the lot or the park. But you did not have to take off. You shouldn't have taken off." Ryan played with his soup. "And I get that you took off because you got scared, but hey-" Ryan held his breath and looked up. "We ain't your father and we ain't the people in the group home. We couldn't care less about some damn lamp. It's you we care about." Ryan blinked, releasing his breath. Pony patted his leg lovingly and smiled. "Now, you can draw later, but you need to rest." He put Ryan's bowl, glass, and sketchpad on the nightstand and tucked him in.


	12. Social Distinctions

**Disclaimer: The Outsiders are owned by S.E. Hinton.**

**AN: Thank you, thank you, thank you for the reviews! :D In the beginning Pony talks a bit about how everything they went through is still going on and the only things that changed were the names, style, and terms. Keeping that in mind, I wrote this chapter. However, I wasn't sure if the next generation would use terms like Greaser and Soc. That is why Ryan and the kids his age do not refer to each other as such... the original characters do, though. Also, I'm sorry if the Soc's insults aren't that great or as mean as they should be... I had a bit of trouble coming up with insults.**

* * *

"I swear I get called down to the principal's office more times as your guardian then I ever did as a student," Pony greeted as he took a seat beside Ryan outside the office of the high school once more. Ponyboy had lost count of how many times he was called in from work. His boss was getting tired of Pony having to take off. His boss was understanding and lenient the first couple of times and for the couple of days Ryan was sick, but he was pushing his luck. "If you were anyone else, Curtis, your ass would've been long gone. You're just damn lucky you write so well," his boss told him.

Couldn't the school hassle another kid? Surely there were other kids causing more trouble than Ryan. Just walking into the office, Ponyboy saw countless kids skipping class, smoking on campus, carrying blades, getting into fights, vandalizing property, just to name a few things. Ryan was practically an angel compared to when the gang were students at the school. Yet, his kid was the one seated outside the office. And mostly for very stupid reasons.

A couple of times it was for "mouthing off." Pony had been trying to get Ryan to watch his words, but it was difficult because Ryan never meant to talk back in the first place. Everything he said was completely innocent. Ponyboy tried to explain, but the school wasn't having any of it. When the calls in started to be about Ryan's appearance, Pony was starting to realize it was the same old Greaser/Soc crap. Ryan couldn't blink without getting into trouble, but some Soc could burn down the school and be awarded a medal. "Looks like trouble," is what the principal told Pony and Pony was livid and really let the principal have it.

Ponyboy stormed out of the office with Ryan in tow. He counted to ten as he started the car and smoked as he drove, keeping the cigarette out the window for Ryan's sake. "I have to go back to work, so you're going to hang out with Soda and Steve at the garage." Ryan nodded. "Listen," Pony told him as he flicked his kool away. "It's not you I'm mad at and I know it isn't your fault or fair. But I can't keep leaving work like this. You've got to be more careful and find ways of staying out of that office, you dig?"

"Yeah," Ryan mumbled.

Pony glanced over at him. A black eye was beginning to form. "Did the nurse look you over?" Ryan shook his head. He was sent straight to the principal. "I bet the Soc was sent to the nurse." Disdain dripped from his tongue as he gripped the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles turned white. Ryan didn't say anything, confirming Ponyboy's suspicions.

As he parked at the garage, he looked Ryan over. "You okay?"

"Yeah. Sure." Ryan would've said he was whether it was the truth or not. Ponyboy knew he was lying, though. By now he was a pro at reading Ryan's facial expression and tone of voice, even better than when they first went shopping.

"I'm going to look at your eye." He turned Ryan's face. "You'll have to put ice on it."

Someone tapped on window and Ryan jumped out of his skin. Pony turned to find Sodapop grinning at them. Pony rolled down the window as Soda leaned in. "Hey. Get called down to the school again?"

"Yeah. Can he hang here? I have to head back to work."

"We can always use the help." Soda's eyes widened when he saw Ryan. He let out a low whistle. "That's one tuff looking shiner. Why don't you head on in, Rye?" Ryan got out of the car and went inside. "I'd hate to see what the other guy looks like."

Pony stared after him in concern. "Ryan is the one who gets in trouble all because he's a greaser! It's bull! He doesn't need that!"

"No, he doesn't." Soda agreed. "But you gotta get back to work. He'll be alright with us." Knowing Soda was right, Pony started the truck and drove off.

By the time Soda entered the garage, Steve already got Ryan some ice. As Ryan sat on the hood of one of the cars, icing his eye, Steve asked what happened.

"Which time?" Ryan asked.

"This time," Soda clarified as he returned to the car he was working on.

Ryan explained. Some kids from the west side of town were picking on a kid from the east side. Ryan stepped in telling them to leave the kid alone and knock it off. One of the west-enders threw a punch. Next thing Ryan knew, he was being dragged down to the principal's office.

"Damn Soc!" Steve spat angrily.

Ryan seemed lost in thought. "What's on your mind?" Soda asked.

"I don't get it." Ryan hopped off the hood. Keeping the ice on his eye as instructed, he began helping Soda. "I didn't even throw a punch." The cards were stacked against you if you lived on the wrong side of town, if you didn't have as much money, if they thought you looked wrong. "It's just so infantile and what's even sadder is it's the adults who feed into it and encourage it by feeding into it."

Sodapop gave him a sympathetic look and ruffled his hair. "That's just the way it is." He made a mental note to teach Ryan how to fight. He didn't like seeing him hurt in any way and the way it sounded, Ryan didn't even try to defned himself.

"Yeah, I guess," Ryan said sadly. It bothered him, but he let the subject drop and tried to focus on the car's engine.

The time flew by and Soda managed to get Ryan to smile and Steve engaged him in a long conversation about the cars they were working on. A car pulled up to the garage. "I'll get it."

Ryan immediately regretted volunteering as he approached the red mustang filled with what Steve and Pony referred to as Socs. He looked them straight in the eyes, wiping the grease off his hands with a dirty rag. Despite the fact he really didn't want to deal with any rich kids at the moment, he remained professional. After all, these weren't the same rich kids who gave him a black eye and got him suspended again. "What can I help you with today?"

"Aren't you ambitious!" The guy in the drivers seat laughed.

"What?"

"Already starting off his career path early." The girl in the passenger seat mused, giggling.

Another girl in the back seat began to giggle as well. "Well sure! The position of garbage man was already taken!"

"And cleaning toilets required too much brain!" The guy in the back seat added, snickering.

Glaring, Ryan had about all he could take. "At least I ain't so useless as to skate by on mommy's purse strings and daddy's last name!"

"You know the difference between you and me?" The first guy grinned evilly.

Ryan folded his arms, head tilted to the side dangerously. "Yeah. You're a-" He let loose a colorful string of curses that would've given Tim Shepard a run for his money and made Dallas Winston cringe.

But this seemed to only amuse the guy more. "The difference between you and me is I'm on top now and I'll always be on top. And you're nothing but lowly trash who no one gives a shit about and you'll always be lowly trash who no one gives a shit about." The car erupted in laughter, but instantly died down when they heard a vicious shout coming from behind Ryan.

"You're out of your territory, Soc! Get out of here!" Steve and Soda stood behind Ryan, looking threatening. "Get the hell out of here before we bash your heads in!" At the sight of the older, intimidating greasers, the guy in the front seat tried to start his car, only to have it sputter and die.

"You have five seconds to get that heap of junk out of here," Soda warned. Quickly, the two guys scrambled out of the mustang and began pushing it down the road.

Ryan called after them, "Suddenly the mechanic profession looks real good to you, don't it?"


	13. Book Signing Sensing a Theme

**Disclaimer: S.E. Hinton is the genius who created The Outsiders. I only take credit for my own characters.**

**AN: *Claps hands and bounces in excitment* I got more reviews! :D I'm glad some people found my authors note about the shoes stuck in the tree entertaining. I'll see what I can do about more Pony and Ryan moments. I have some ideas. There's a sort of Ryan and Pony moment in here, and there is a Darry and Ryan moment.**

* * *

Ponyboy's publicist called and told him they wanted him to do a book signing. Pony was hesitant to agree. He didn't want to leave Ryan. But Soda and Darry said Ryan would be fine and that he should go. His boss told him, "If you don't go, don't bother coming back to the paper" because after all publicity for his star reporter was publicity for the paper.

"And you're sure Ryan will be alright?" He asked for the hundredth time.

"Ponyboy Michal Curtis, if you do not agree to do this, I'll skin you alive!" Darry threatened.

A phone call and a morning later, Darry, Soda, and Ryan were waving goodbye as Pony headed off to the airport. It would only be for two days and he made his brothers and Ryan promise to call if they needed him.

He explained to Ryan that he had to go away for a couple of days for the book signing, but Soda and Darry would be there while he was gone. Ryan said he understood, but Pony knew Ryan would've said that regardless of how he felt. It was evident that Ryan did not want him to go and Pony almost cancelled, but Darry said Pony was going if he had to drag him there. Ryan would be fine and it was too good an opportunity to pass up.

While Ponyboy was stopped at a light, he noticed a piece of paper lying face down on the dash board. _For Pony_ was written across the back of it. He flipped the paper over curiously to find a cartoon drawing of a family portrait of him, his brothers, and Ryan. Scrawled across the bottom left hand corner was Ryan's signature. Similing, he carefully folded it and stuck it in his pocket, carrying it with him all through those two days. When he got home, he'd hang it at his desk at the paper. And while he was supposed to be signing books, he found himself bragging nonstop about Ryan and showing everyone Ryan's drawing.

Meanwhile, back at the Curtis house, Soda, Steve, and Two-bit went out for the night to hunt action. This left Ryan, for the first time, alone with Darry. Ryan, like always was quiet, but he was clearly missing Ponyboy.

"You hungry?" Darry asked, grabbing his keys. He didn't feel like cooking and the kid looked so down. He figured he'd treat the kid to a dinner out. This time alone with him also provided the perfect opportunity to get to know one another.

Ryan shrugged. "Sure." He followed Darry out to the truck and they drove in silence to the diner. Ryan was still very wary of Darry.

Once again, Ryan ordered the cheapest thing on the menu. Darry looked at him like he lost his mind. "That ain't dinner." Darry, like Soda and Steve, ordered something more for him. As they waited for their burgers, Darry could tell the kid had a lot on his mind. "What's eating you, kiddo?"

"Nothing."

Darry knew Ryan was lying and gave him a very stern and serious look. "We can do this one of two ways. The easy way or the hard way." Ryan tensed up, but kept his mouth shut. "Have it your way." Darry reached over and Ryan flinched, but suddenly began howling in laughter. Darry tickled him mercilessly. "The only way to stop this is to tell me what's bothering you."

"Okay, okay!" Ryan cried out as he laughed. Darry stopped, giving Ryan a moment to catch his breath. His smile lessened as he spilled his guts to Darry. He admitted that he missed Pony and being afraid that he might not come back. He revealed that Gopher had yet to send him a letter, despite the many he had sent him and how scared this made him and the nightmares this gave him. And he explained about the class warfare, which was nothing new to Darry. But he went into detail about how it bugged him and ate at him. The kid sure had a lot on his plate.

Darry listened and tried his best to reassure him that Pony would come home. He told Ryan he missed Pony, too and he bet Pony was missing them something awful as well. He encouraged Ryan to continue to write letters to his brother and try and think positive. As for the war between the classes, "Pony struggled a lot with it when he was your age. He even wrote a theme for school about it. I'll get it for you when we get home. You should read it. It might help." Mostly, though, he let Ryan know he was always there for him and that he and the gang always had his back.

Ryan looked Darry in the eye and smiled, before tearing into his burger. "Thanks."


	14. Pure Fluff

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders.**

**AN: While I wrote this, all I could imagine Agnes from the movie Despicable Me shaking this and shouting "It's so ****_FLUFFY_****!" Anyway, sorry it's so short. Some of the reviewers have been asking for more Pony and Ryan fluff, so I wrote this. There is more fluff to follow, but I just need to write it first. I could probably have waited to post this with the fluff that is to follow, but I thought I'd post it now (mostly because I am so impatient to share it). Let me know if it's not fluffy enough... (Next chapter will be longer) :D**

* * *

"Ryan," Ponyboy sat on the edge of the bed, shaking the kid's shoulder gently. "Hey, Ryan." He brushed the tangled chestnut locks out of the fifteen year old's face. "Ryan, baby."

Ryan began to stir. His eyes widened and a small smile exploded across his lips as he threw his arms around Pony. "Pony, you're back!"

Grinning at the unexpected embrace, Pony hugged him back. Realizing what he was doing, Ryan began to pull away, muttering an apology. But Pony lifted Ryan's chin to look the kid in the eyes. "I missed you, too." Ryan smiled. "I just wanted to let you know I was home and thank you for the drawing. And I was thinking you and I can spend the whole day together tomorrow. What do you say?" Ryan nodded enthusiastically. "I'll let you go back to sleep now." Pony tucked him in. When Ryan's eyes closed, Pony leaned over and kissed his forehead, before quietly heading out of the room and slowly closing the door behind him.

* * *

**AN: Forecast for next chapter: Fluff with a chance of fluff... we'll see where it goes...**


	15. A Day With Pony

**Disclaimer: The Outsiders are not mine.**

**AN: I'm glad the previous fluff was enjoyed! :D As for Pony's age... that is a good question. In the first chapter, it is mentioned he is a little older than Darry was when Darry started to take care of Soda and Pony. Pony is out of college and the Vietnam war is still going on. In order for all these facts to line up, we are looking at the end of the Vietnam war. If you figure the US pulled troops out '73-'75, Pony would be 22-24 during that time. For this story, I think he is more along the lines anywhere between 23-24. As always, thanks for the reviews! I enjoy them greatly! :D**

**Also, I know I predicted fluff with a chance of fluff for this chapter, but as we all know forecasts can be wrong. Sorry if this is not as fluffy as you would like. It does have it's moments, though... Story onward...**

* * *

Anywhere. Pony told him they could go anywhere. Anywhere he wanted. At first Ryan shrugged. But Pony was having none of that. "That's not a place." Upon further insistence, Ryan eyed him suspiciously. Anywhere? Pony stopped the truck abruptly in the middle of the street.

A line of cars hit the brakes behind them, horns honking and curses flying as almost every driver flipped them off. Ryan's eyes popped out of his head and he turned around to see the damage. "What are you doing!?"

Pony simply looked at Ryan, entirely relaxed, as though this was perfectly normal. "I don't know where we're going."

"There's five cars behind us! And, man, those drivers look pissed!" Ryan kept his eyes glued to those cars they backed up behind them.

"I can't go anywhere until I know where it is I'm going, Ryan."

"That one guy is really big! If he comes over here we're screwed!"

Pony glanced over his shoulder. "Yep. You're right. We've got all day." He flashed a grin.

"You're crazy!" Ryan cried.

"Where are we going, Ryan?"

"The-the movies!" Ryan sputtered out. With that, Pony started the truck and continues on their way. Ryan shook his head, a smile playing at his lips, as he kept glancing behind him. He let out a small laugh. "You're nuts!"

Ponyboy eyed him. "Now, why was that so difficult?"

Ryan shrugged. "I guess I just ain't use to it. Gopher and I could've been bleeding to death and our old man still wouldn't have taken us to the hospital." His nose wrinkled and his eyes blazed. "It would've been too much of a hassle for him." He shook his head, bringing himself out of his dark daze, forming a small turn of the lips to hide away what he was starting to reveal. "He never took us anywhere and we never dared to ask. If you did, there was hell to pay. And I would just follow Gopher around."

Pony never considered that Ryan, in all his fifteen years, was never asked what _he_ wanted to do or that he would even be discouraged from asking. Thinking back over the time Ryan had spent with them, Pony wondered what else he never considered. "Well, it's different now," Pony told him. "You don't have to hesitate to ask."

Ryan gave him a dubious look. "Sure, okay."

They got their tickets and headed inside for snacks. Pony caught Ryan eyeing the prices, rather than the choices, like he did whenever the gang took him out to eat. "No way." Pony said sternly, taking him by the shoulders and turning him around, so he couldn't see the prices. Ryan flinched at the unexpected movement and questioned him silently. "Now, tell me what you want to eat." Ryan tried to glance at the price again, but with Pony's hands on his shoulders, he couldn't. "Come on, Ryan. I will hold up this line like I held up traffic."

Afraid Pony might hold true to his threat, Ryan quickly sputtered out, "A-a-a coke!"

"And?" Ryan was silent. "What else, Ryan? Come on. Haven't you been to the movies before?"

"Yes. Gopher used to take me all the time. Before Tre and Hopper got their own place, we'd sneak in and spend whole nights at the drive-in or movie house. No matter how bad it got, though, Gopher would always make me laugh. He'd imitate and mimic that dialogue. I guess that's how he got so good."

"Then you know what they have. What did Gopher use to get you when you spent all night at the movies?"

"Nothing. We never had any money. Sometimes he'd swipe a candy bar, but mostly he didn't want to risk getting us thrown out, or worse get in trouble and have our dad find out."

Ponyboy thought about this and tried another strategy. Surely some things must have caught his eye when he was younger- all those treats he couldn't have. Pony wondered what they were. Ryan supplied the list, including popcorn and various candy, not realizing he just fell for Pony's rather clever trick. Once they got to the counter, Pony bought the whole list, much to Ryan's surprise. Surprise soon gave way with elation and Ryan's whole face lit up.

"All of this is because you just ain't used to it?" Pony asked, grabbing a seat.

Ryan nodded, happily stuffing popcorn into his mouth. "Yeah. Like I said, Gopher and I never had money. My old man didn't have any money either. On the very rare occasion that we did go out to eat, you had to be careful what you ordered. If you ordered something he considered too expensive, you were lucky if all you got was your head bitten off."

Ponyboy opened his mouth to respond, but the lights dimmed and the movie began. Ryan quickly became engrossed. Pony couldn't focus on the movie, though. He was digesting everything Ryan just told him. Pony hated Ryan's father. He would murder the man if he ever came in contact with him for everything he did to Ryan. It both enraged and saddened him to see the hurt, the pain, and the residual damage.

Protectively, Pony threw his arm over Ryan's shoulders, pulling _his_ kid closer to him. Because Ryan was _his_ kid. He would do anything he could to fix all that damage and he would be damned if he let anything hurt his kid like that again. Ryan leaned into Pony, his eyes dancing with happiness and a broad smile plastered on his face. It was a look Pony lived for and one that never left Ryan's face all day.

"I don't think I've ever seen Rye so happy before," Soda remarked when they came home from a full day. He was making an undoubtedly colorful dinner as Steve, Two-bit, and Darry relaxed in the living room, watching television.

"Pony, can we…" Ryan ventured, testing the waters for the first time. "Can we toss the football around?"

Pony grinned, grabbing the ball. "Good idea. We have a few minutes to kill before dinner."

In the front yard, they passed the ball back and forth between the two of them. "I had fun today, Pony."

"So did I. Maybe we can do it again sometime."

Ryan grew quiet for a moment. There was something very clearly on his mind. "I'm sorry I talked so much about Gopher. The people at the group home said I talked about him too much and that I shouldn't, especially when someone does something nice for me. They said it takes away from it."

"Well, I don't mind." Pony didn't mind listening to Ryan go on and on about his brother in the least.

Ryan's brow creased in worry. "So, I didn't ruin today?"

Pony was surprised by the question, but immediately assured him he didn't. "No, of course not!" How could he think he ruined it? The day went so well and they both enjoyed the time together.

"I just miss him."

"I understand."

"I've sent more than five letters and heard nothing back yet. Darry says I should think positive."

"That's good advice." If only Pony's father could see him now. The thought made him smile.

"You're right." Ryan gave a confident nod of the head. "Gopher will come home like he promised and he and I will go to Hollywood, just like we always said we would. I can't wait for him to meet you all."

Darry stood on the porch, shooting a concerned look at his baby brother. "Time to wash up for dinner, little man."

Ryan tossed Pony the ball and smiled at him before hurrying inside. "Thanks, Pony. For everything."

"What is it, Darry?" Pony caught the look on his brother's face.

Darry waited for Ryan to dissapear in the house before answering. "Ponyboy, are you prepared for giving Ryan up if Gopher does come home?"

That question was like a slap in the face. He never considered having to give Ryan up. It was a sharp reminder that Ryan was not actually _his_, no matter how much Ryan felt like _his_ kid and no matter how much he loved Ryan like his own. But now that he had Ryan in his life, he couldn't imagine not having Ryan there. "I-I don't know. I guess I'll have to be.


	16. Pop Quiz

**Disclaimer: The Outsiders are owned by S.E. Hinton.**

**AN: Someone commented about wanting an Uncle Soda and I began to realize there are not nearly enough Soda and Ryan moments. I think they need more moments. Thank you for the kind reviews! They make my day! :D**

* * *

Sodapop took Ryan out into the front yard to teach him how to fight. It worried him to no end that the kid he thought of as his nephew was getting beaten up at school. The black eye faded, but the problem was not going away so easily. Between the assault that occurred and the continual verbal exchanges, the whole gang was worried. It concerned Soda that Ryan didn't even try to defend himself and fight back. With all this on his mind, while Darry was at class and Pony was working late, Soda took it upon himself to teach the kid.

Ryan, however, stood there simply to humor him. Instead of listening, he was deep in thought. Steve's and Two-bit's words repeated constantly in his mind. They said if he didn't fight back people would think he was weak and he had the proud title of greaser to uphold. He asked them why he should care what other people thought and pointed out that Soda didn't care what people thought of him. But standing there listening to him carry on about the proper way to throw a punch, Ryan wondered if he shared his buddies same sentiment. Maybe then so did Darry and Pony. "I didn't disappoint you and Pony and Darry, did I? Or let you down?" He couldn't stand the thought.

Soda gave him a funny look. "Of course not! Where in the almighty universe did you get an idea like that?" Ryan shrugged, thinking back to Steve and Two-bit's words. Soda threw an arm around Ryan's shoulders. "I just don't like seeing you get beat on like that. Those Soc's need to know they can't mess with you. The gang's got your back, Rye, but at school we can't be there for you like we wish we could. You've got to protect and defend yourself."

"But, Soda," Ryan mumbled, suddenly very interested in his shoes. His voice was pleading and troubled as he mindlessly tugged at the sleeves of his sweatshirt. "What if I don't want to fight back?"

Soda studied him for a moment. Why wouldn't he want to fight back? If the kid could throw a punch as well as he could curse, he could flatten someone. "Not even to defend or protect yourself?" Ryan shook his head. "But you can't just…"

Ryan cut him off. "You don't understand."

"Then explain it to me." Soda brought Ryan over to the porch swing, his arm still around the kid's shoulders.

"I don't…" Ryan closed his eyes in a pained expression and took a deep breath. "I don't want to be like him."

The words were so hushed, Soda almost didn't catch them. Now, he was more confused than ever. "Who?"

Ryan looked up at him, begging him to not make him say it, but when Soda's eyes remained questioning, he choked out, "My… my father."

And Soda felt his heart break. "You could never be your father! And defending yourself ain't the same as what he did to you."

Ryan wasn't so sure and it scared him. "But I don't know what might happen if I start. What if I won't be able to stop?"

"Two things. You have to start trusting yourself and most importantly, Rye," Soda lifted his chin to look him in the eyes. "You ain't your old man."


	17. Shave and a Haircut Two Bits

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders.**

**AN: Thanks for the review! :D Here's another fluffy father/son Pony and Ryan moment all thanks to Two-bit. In ****The Outsiders****, there is the part in the drive-in where Two-bit comes up behind Pony and Johnny and scares them by pretending to be a Soc. That part sort of gave me the idea for this. The story was needing more Two-bit.**

* * *

It was no secret that Two-bit Mathews was a bit of a scatterbrain. The whole gang knew how Ryan worried over the war and his brother, but clearly that slipped Two-bit's mind when he took the kid to see a war movie. Pony did his best to keep Ryan away from anything war related and why he was lying on Ryan's bed in the middle of the night, holding and comforting the trembling fifteen year old who clung to him for dear life was the reason. Early on, Pony told everyone in the gang the war terrified Ryan and gave him awful nightmares.

Two-bit forgot. But he immediately felt bad when he saw the poor kid tense up. Two-bit got him out of there as soon as he noticed it, but unfortunately, not before catching a few scenes Ryan could've done without seeing.

"Do you think that's what war is really like?" Ryan asked on the ride home. Two-bit felt terrible and apologized profusely. He tried to cheer the kid up and take his mind off of it, but Ryan just wasn't going for any of his jokes, which made Two-bit feel that much worse.

"Sh. It's alright. I've got you." Pony whispered soothingly. He finally managed to calm Ryan down. Curled beside Pony, his eyes fluttered shut once more. When Pony carefully shifted to a more comfortable position, Ryan's eyes flew open and he cried out, "Don't leave me, Pony!"

Ponyboy tightened his arm around Ryan to let him know he was still there. "I'm right here, baby. I'm right here. And I'm not going anywhere." Ryan's head rested on Pony's shoulders and Pony smiled. At least for now, Ryan was his.

Two-bit knocked lightly on Ryan's door the next morning. "Hey, Pony," he whispered, careful to not wake the kid. The first thing Ponyboy did as his eyes first opened was check on the kid beside him.

"What time is it?" Pony mumbled as he slowly and carefully removed his arm, got out of bed and fixed the covers over Ryan.

"It's eight. Darry and Soda already left. Did you sleep in here all night?" Two-bit looked concerned, following his friend out of the room, shutting the door softly.

Ponyboy cursed under his breath. "Damn. I'm late. Yeah, he had a nightmare." Two-bit's face couldn't have looked more apologetic and worried. Still groggy, Ponyboy headed for his room for a change of clothes. After a quick shower, he found Two-bit in front of the television. "Let him sleep in. He didn't get much sleep, but no later than ten. Make sure he eats breakfast. I don't care if it's just cake as long as it's something. And no war movies!"

"Aye, aye!" Two-bit saluted, shocked and overjoyed that Ponyboy still trusted him.

"And Two-bit," Pony called over his shoulder as he headed out the door, "Ryan will be fine." Two-bit let out a relieved sigh.


	18. A What?

**Disclaimer: The Outsiders are not owned by me. I do own Ryan and the girl he likes, though.**

**AN: Thank you for the reviews! :D I didn't realize how similar Ryan was to the rest of the gang members until someone pointed it out. And doing a chapter where Ryan reads the theme is a good idea. Unfortunately, that chapter might have to come later. But, never fear, there shall be a chapter where he does read the theme. I am determined!**

**Anywho, this chapter sort of popped up from nowhere and it's been bugging me. I can guarantee that the girl Ryan likes is ****_NOT_****a Mary-Sue, so no worries. But you know what it's like when a character suddenly shows up or does something you didn't expect and then it won't leave you alone until you write it out? That's where this came from... hope you enjoy...**

* * *

During the evenings, Ponyboy tried to keep Ryan away from the television as much as possible to save him the pain of having to hear the numbers of dead and injured soldiers. Normally, this was not too difficult since Ryan avoided it anyway. If he was not doing homework or drawing, the gang invited him to play cards. That night, though, he was lost in a book.

Soda, Steve, and Two-bit walked in to find Darry studying and Ryan lounged on the couch. Ponyboy, as usual, was late coming home. "What are you reading?" Sodapop greeted as they grabbed seats.

"A book." Ryan mumbled distractedly.

"I meant about what?"

"Women's clothes."

Darry looked up suddenly and everyone stared at Ryan questioningly, but he didn't notice. Steve cleared his throat. "Um… is there something you'd like to share with us?"

"What? Does it have pictures?" Two-bit asked with his eyebrow cocked.

"Some." Ryan flipped the page.

"Just what book are you reading!?" Darry, as well as Steve and Soda, knew what pictures Two-bit was referring to. Ryan, however, was oblivious.

Soda attempted another route to get answers. "Why this sudden interest in women's clothing?"

"Julie Rigby."

There was a collective, "oh," but wait, what did a girl have to do with it?

Two-bit frowned. "What do you need pictures for then?"

"To aid the text," Ryan replied simply.

"And what does Julie Rigby have to do with a book about women's clothing?" Soda asked.

"She invited me to a bra burning." Just at that moment, Ponyboy came through the door.

Darry laughed as he patted Pony on the back. "I'm really glad I'm not the responsible guardian right now."

Pony's open mouth gape turned into a dark glower. "Thanks Darry. That's _real_ helpful." Rolling his eyes, he turned his attention back to Ryan. "Why would you go to a bra burning?"

The rest of the gang joined Darry's laughing fit. "Pony, think about it. Why would a fifteen year old guy want to see pretty girls and their bras?"

Ryan closed his book, not seeing what was so funny. "To protest the restrictive nature of women's clothing and society's negative and dangerous standards of beauty perpetuated by the media. Hence the book. I've already read five others. They give me information to impress her with." He flashed a grin as he got up and headed for his room. "It worked this morning. That's why she invited me. Seeing pretty girls and their bras are just a plus."

Ponyboy followed. "I don't know about you going to a bra burning. I don't think it's such a great idea. I mean, you're a bit young to be seeing bras."

"When was the first time you saw a bra, Pony?"Steve yelled from the living room.

"Shut up, Steve!" Pony's ears turned red and everyone snickered.

"It's not about the bras." Ryan came out, sketch pad in hand.

Pony's eyes practically popped out of his head. "What are planning on doing with that?"

"Great!" Two-bit began joking when he caught sight of the sketchpad, "You can draw us some pictures of…"

"Can it, Two-bit!" It was frustrating that everyone found this so amusing and no one was backing him up.

"She wants to see my drawings."

"Ryan, why don't you and her hang out here or go to the movies. Maybe the two of you could go for a walk in the park."

Tearing out one of the pictures he didn't want her to see, he headed for the door. "Those are great ideas. Thanks, Pony. Maybe we can do one of those things later, seeing how I already promised I'd attend the protest. We'll see how tonight goes."

Soda grabbed the drawing and flipped it over. It was of a frizzy-haired girl with red-rimmed glasses. "Is this her?" Ryan nodded.

Two-bit's nose scrunched up. "She's not even blonde!"

"Not in any sense of the word." Ryan stared google-eyed at the drawing. "Anyway, I'll be home at ten. And if the fuzz show, I'll beat it out of there." That wasn't very reassuring, though.

Pony was about to lay down the law and tell him he couldn't go, but Soda broke in before he had a chance to. "Aw, lay off him Pony. He rarely goes out as it is and it'll do him some good to spend time with kids his own age. Besides, she's gotta be one helluv a girl if he's going to all these lengths for her."

Staring at Ryan's drawing, Ponyboy sighed heavily and conceded. "Have fun and be careful!" He waved Ryan goodbye as the kid took off out the door.


	19. A Bobby Sherman Song

**Disclaimer: I do not own S.E. Hinton's The Outsiders. I also do not own Bobby Sherman's song Julie Do You Love Me.**

**AN: The review made me smile! It was so nice. I am pretty sure I know how I will end this story, but my lips are zipped. I'm not going to tell! You'll just have to keep reading! And I'm glad everyone is liking how I write Pony! :D**

* * *

Bring! Bring! Darry answered the phone. "Hello…"

Just then, Ryan came flying out of his room, sliding in his socks. "It's for me!" He slammed into a chair and fell in his eager attempt to get to the phone. Rolling his eyes and shaking his head, Darry gave him a hand up and handed over the receiver. "Hey, Julie."

Soda nudged Steve. "Oh, it's _Julie_!" Steve snickered.

"_Julie, Julie, Julie do you love me?_" Two-bit sang Bobby Sherman loudly and off-key. "_Julie, Julie, Julie do you care?_"

Ryan turned his back to them, his face bright red. "Oh, that's just the radio." This caused the three of them to laugh harder.

After the protest, they started to see more of each other. They were starting to get serious and everyone teased him good naturedly and mercilessly. They enjoyed seeing just how red his face could turn. And in all honesty, Ryan enjoyed it, too. Gopher probably would have also teased him, he thought.

When Pony asked about this Julie Rigby, Ryan let out a dreamy sigh, all starry-eyed. "She's gonna change the world!" Everyone had a good laugh over that.

Ryan was even beginning to tease back a little. "At least I have a girl!" He fired back with a huge grin one day. And when Two-bit asked when they would get to meet her, Ryan replied playfully, "Hopefully never." They were all just glad he felt comfortable and relaxed enough to tease back.

Ponyboy was not thrilled about the bra burning, but aside from that, he was glad the girl managed to take Ryan's mind off some of the things that concerned him. Ryan still worried, of course, but that smile sure was great to see. And he went to great lengths for this girl.

As Ryan hung up the phone, Ponyboy called over, "In all seriousness, Romeo, when are planning on bringing her around?" He must've come home while he and Julie were talking and everyone else probably left to hunt action, or in Darry's case, attend classes.

Rolling his eyes with that grin, he sat next to Pony on the couch with a shrug. "Not for a week at least. She's grounded for organizing that walk out." Due to trying to stay out of the principal's office, he did not participate. "I probably could've joined. It's not like my art teacher would miss me. She only passes me because she thinks I'm trouble and doesn't want me in her class again" As he mused over that his face fell.

Pony put and arm around his shoulders as he stared at his knees. "What's the matter Ryan?"

Ryan's voice was barely a whisper. "I don't think I should bring her around."

Glancing around the room, Pony remembered being Ryan's age and not feeling too hot about not having the nicest things. "Well, we could clean the place up and I can get the guys to lay off with the jokes…"

Ryan shook his head. "It's not that."

"What is it, then?" Pony gently urged for more of an explanation. If Ryan didn't tell him, he couldn't fix it.

"It's just… she's wonderful, you know. And I'm…" He sighed sadly. "If she comes, I'll have to explain about being in a foster home and she'll think… she'll find out I'm trouble and not worth it…"

"No, Ryan." Pony lifted his chin. "No, no, no. You are not trouble and you are worth more than words can say. If she has as big a heart as you make her out to have, you have nothing to worry about. So what if you are in a foster home? You have nothing to be ashamed of and you are not trouble."

Ryan's eyes were cast downward, tugging at the sleeves of his sweatshirt, not entirely convinced about any of it. "But if she doesn't see it that way…"

"Then she doesn't deserve you and she ain't worth the time. If she doesn't accept you for what's inside, then she ain't worth it. And, Ryan, I swear to you. You ain't trouble."


	20. Forgotten Angel In Darkness

**Disclaimer: The Outsiders and all it's glory does not belong to me.**

**AN: Thanks for the review! It's nice to know the last chapter was enjoyed! :D Alrighty, this is for all you fluff fiends out there! :D Another fluffy Ryan and Pony moment... I think... Anyway, keep in mind that in the beginning, Pony said he only knew two things about Ryan: his brother was at war and his mother died... now before I give anything more away... onward we proceed...Enjoy!**

* * *

"Who's that?" Pony asked as he glanced over at Ryan's sketch pad at the table. It was someone Pony never saw before. Normally he could identify the people in Ryan's sketches, even the ones with his art teacher as a demon and the principal as a toad.

Ryan quickly closed his pad and went on eating dinner. Pony, Soda, and Darry exchanged a surprised look. It was odd for him to be so secretive about his drawings. Pony wouldn't have asked and respected his privacy if he had known Ryan wished it.

Ryan hardly uttered a word all day. The principal called saying he was being unresponsive in class. Ryan was known to be a quiet kid, but not this quiet. Something was clearly bothering him. And his smile- it was wiped clean. He wasn't starry-eyed or swimming with happiness as he had been recently. The only thing they could think of was it had something to do with Julie.

After dinner, he sifted through various envelopes in the living room. "Is this the mail today?" Normally it was Soda who inquired after the mail.

"Yeah, that's today's mail." Darry called over the running water as he did the dishes.

"Is this all of it?"

"As far as I know."

"Are you sure?"

The water turned off. Darry leaned against the door frame, wiping his hands. "Sorry, little buddy. That's all the mail." Ryan threw the envelopes down without another word and went into his room.

As he sat on his bed, he opened his sketchbook and drew. But it looked wrong. He flipped his pencil over to fix it. But nothing could fix it and he was starting to get more and more frustrated, until he finally tossed the whole thing away from him.

There was a light knock on his door and Pony entered. ""Hey, Ryan. You okay?" He asked gently, sitting on the edge of Ryan's bed.

"Fine," Ryan mumbled, keeping his eyes diverted.

"You're awfully quiet today."

Ryan shrugged. He didn't want to talk. He could already feel the rock in his throat morph to a boulder and his eyes start to sting. Did something happen?" Ryan shook his head. Pony's eye caught the drawing from dinner. It was half erased. "What happened here?" He carefully lifted it, brushing the eraser pieces off the paper. "I thought this looked great."

Ryan wouldn't even look at it. "It's all wrong."

Pony examined it, or what was left of it. There wasn't much detail, except for a warm, gentle, friendly smile. "How so?" He couldn't see what Ryan was talking about.

"I don't know," he mumbled miserably.

Pony scooched closer to him. "She's awfully pretty." Ryan nodded in agreement. "Do you know her?"

Ryan's vision began to blur and his voice cracked. "She's my mother."

Pony wrapped a comforting arm around him. He knew what it was like to lose parents. Taking a shaky breath, Ryan wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, willing the tears not to fall. "She died when I was five. I don't really remember her, but Gopher does. Today's the day she died and I thought he'd send me a letter at least today of all days." Ryan sniffled and Pony tightened his embraced, feeling his shoulder suddenly get wet. "We never talked about her when our old man was around. But every year on this day, Gopher would tell me all about her. He'd talk about how she tried her best to protect us and how much she loved us, but I only remember her smile." By now, he was bawling and Pony knew there was nothing he could say to make this any better. But at least he could give Ryan what he needed, just someone to listen and hold him.

He also knew, though, he couldn't be _who_ he needed and that killed Pony. "I want Gopher!" Ryan cried as he clung to Pony.

"I know, baby, I know. And I'm sorry." Pony comforted, rubbing soothing circles into his back. At least he could be there for him.


	21. Cure for the Blues

**Dislcaimer: The Outsiders are not mine.**

**AN: I love the reviews! Thank you to all of you who are taking time to review my story! I greatly appreciate it! Speaking of reviews, I received a review that gave me the idea for this particular chapter. I also received a review earlier about Ryan reading the theme... sorry but that chapter is going to have to wait for a little bit, but I am letting you know that chapter will come up. Anyway... thanks for all the suggestions! I will find a way to work them in! :D**

* * *

Ponyboy walked out into the kitchen to be greeted by Darry and Soda. They instantly demanded what was wrong with Ryan. "If he doesn't receive a letter soon from his brother, I will go to Vietnam and drag Gopher's ass home myself!"

"He really misses his brother." Soda remarked. They could all sympathize. They knew what it was like to have brothers you cherished, but they couldn't imagine what it was like to have them off at war.

"That's not all, though." Pony shared with them what Ryan told him. Though Ryan calmed down, he was still miserable.

An idea came to Soda and he flashed one of his famous grins. "Well, we just so happen to know the perfect cure for the blues." And the three brothers conspired.

A few minutes later, there was yet another knock on Ryan's door. Taking a shaky breath to keep himself calm, Ryan quickly wiped the last of the tears away, hoping his red, puffy eyes were unnoticeable. Whoever it was and whatever they wanted, he hoped it would be quick because he really didn't want to lose it again, especially not in front of anyone in the gang. Pony was one thing, and that was hard enough as it was, but the rest of the gang, that was something different. He hated crying in general, but he loathed crying in front of people.

Sodapop, Ponyboy, and Darry walked in. "Hey, Rye. We heard you weren't feeling too hot." The reply was a shrug and a sniffle.

"We got something that might cheer you up, little buddy." Their plotting and scheming smiles worried him.

"What?" Ryan asked cautiously.

"This!" And the three brothers began mercilessly tickling Ryan. He howled in laughter, unable to keep his lips from turning upward. He squirmed to get away, but to no avail.

"Wait! No! Stop! Please!" Ryan cried through his laughs. "Uncle! UNCLE!" Finally, they let up. Ryan was still in a fit of laughter, panting and gasping for breath.

"Feel any better?" Soda asked.

Ryan shrugged.

Darry raised an eyebrow. "You're not sure? Well, we better make sure." And they began tickling him to death.

"YES! I'M SURE! I'M SURE!" Ryan cried out and once more they let up. "Better! I'm feeling better! I'm sure!" Still breathing heavy and suffering post-tickle chuckles, he leaned back against Pony.

Darry quickly retrieved some old photo albums and brought them back on the bed as they all gathered around and Ryan peered curiously at them. "You know, we lost our mother, too." Pony told Ryan. "I was only thirteen at the time."

"Really?" Ryan asked. He had not yet read the theme, being preoccupied with trying to find new information to impress Julie with.

The three brothers nodded. "And sometimes, it makes us real sad, too." Soda opened the photo album to show Ryan the pictures of their mother, father, them, and the gang.

"What happened to her?" And they all began talking, occasionally laughing and snickering as they swapped stories. There was comfort in being surrounded by people who cared about you and in talking to people who understood.


	22. Rabbit Season

**Disclaimer: S.E. Hinton owns The Outsiders.**

**AN: Thanks for the review and suggestion! :D I'm sure Ryan will get revenge at some point. On with the story...**

* * *

Darry said they were going for a drive and Ryan hopped in the truck beside him. When they pulled up to some abandoned back road, Ryan gave him a funny look. Darry simply held up the keys. But Ryan didn't move, not understanding. "Wanna try driving?"

Ryan's eyes got wide and he stared at Darry like he lost his mind. "No!"

This was not the reaction Darry expected. He never knew a kid who didn't jump at the chance to get behind the wheel. "Why not?"

_Why not!?_ What did he mean why not? To Ryan the idea was ludicrous. "I could run into something!"

Nodding, he gestured to the road in front of them. "Sure. I mean, all those imaginary trees…" Ryan had to concede that point, but still put up much protest. With a guffaw of disbelief, Darry asked, "What is the worst that can happen?"

"There can be a rabbit in the middle of the street and I can swerve, still hit it and send us into a ditch simultaneously killing both of us and a whole family of rabbits! Or…"

"I thought you said you would only hit one rabbit."

"Yes, but by killing the rabbit I just orphaned it's helpless offspring which in turn die because they are unable to take care of themselves, making me responsible for their deaths!"

"I see you put a lot of thought into this." Darry handed Ryan the keys and got out of the car to switch seats. "Scoot over," Darry told him as he climbed into the passanger's seat. Reluctantly, Ryan obeyed, still saying he didn't think this was such a good idea. When Darry told him to, he grabbed hold of the steering wheel, gripping it so tightly his knuckles turned white. "Kiddo, you've got to relax." Ryan nodded stiffly. "Look," Darry grabbed the wheel with one of his hands, "I've got the wheel, too. I won't let you drive us into a ditch and slaughter a family of rabbits. Have a little bit of faith in yourself." Ryan nodded, still very stiff. "Okay, now turn the key and gently press down on the gas." Ryan followed the instructions, extremely nervous. They didn't move. "A little harder on the gas."

The moment the car moved, Ryan slammed on the brake, sending them both flying forward. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

"It's alright. You didn't hurt anything." Darry assured him. "Try it again, but this time don't brake."

Ryan seemed paler and tenser, but did what Darry said, albeit cautiously. Hesitantly, he pressed on the gas until they started moving, and instantly released it, causing the car to lurch. And Ryan freaked out, burying his face in his hands. "I can't do this, Darry! I'm going to screw up and do something wrong and you…" He trailed off.

Darry cut the ignition. "Hey, Ryan, kiddo…" He pried his hands from his face. "What's the matter? It's like riding a bike. It…"

Ryan cut Darry off. "I don't know how to ride a bike."

Darry was sure every kid knew how to ride a bike. "You don't know how to ride a bike?"

Ryan shook his head. "My father tried to teach me, but it didn't go well. It got so bad I was practically in tears every time. I gave up trying to learn. Gopher said anybody would. But it was that way with everything; when something needed to be fixed, put together, cleaned, helped, or taught." Ryan explained miserably and realization dawned on Darry.

"Ryan, I am not going to get mad or frustrated while I'm teaching you. Trust me. I used to help Pony with his math homework all the time and I never lost patience with that."

Ryan eyed him suspiciously. "Yeah, sure." He wasn't any more relaxed.

Darry instructed him to try again. "So," Darry had an idea to help him loosen up as they lurched along, "Have you read Pony's theme yet?" Ryan turned his head to him. "Eyes on the road."

Snapping his attention back to the road, his voice was strained from being tense. "N-no. Not yet. I've been a bit preoccupied reading stuff for Julie."

Darry helped Ryan keep the car straight. He was moving the wheel too much like they always do on T.V. "Is she worth everything you're doing for her?"

"She's worth it. She's incredible! You'd understand if you met her."

"And when will that be?" Darry noticed Ryan's knuckled didn't look so white and he began loosening his grip.

"Not for another two weeks. She snuck out while she was grounded to attend a rally. She said she'd sneak out again to meet you all, but I don't want her to get in anymore trouble and her parents already don't like me."

Darry frowned. How could they not like Ryan? "Why on earth not?"

"According to them I'm trouble." Their daughter was the one attending bra-burnings and rallies, organizing walk-outs, and sneaking out while grounded, and Ryan was trouble?

"Why do they think that?" Ryan shrugged. "Alright, let's retrace your steps. What did you do or say?"

Ryan thought for a moment. "I shook their hands and said hi."

"Maybe they overheard you talking to Julie. What did you say to her right before you met them?"

"I was complimenting her on her intelligence."

"You ain't trouble." He turned the wheel to move with the road. "You're doing good, Ryan." Ryan blinked, surprised by the compliment, but still very unsure. "With Julie, just be careful, alright?" All Darry could think of was Sandy breaking Soda's heart. He didn't want Ryan to suffer like that.

"I really like her, Darry." He flashed a smile.

"Hit the brakes." Ryan did so, noting a proud gleam in Darry's eyes. "Do you realize what you just did, kiddo?" Ryan shook his head. "You just drove and look at that! We're both in one piece, no one's in tears and you didn't kill a single rabbit." The stretch of road they drove was not very far, but indeed, it was an amazing feat for many reasons.


	23. Figment of Imagination

**Disclaimer: I only own Ryan and Julie. S.E. Hinton owns The Outsiders.**

**AN: Thank you, thank you, thank you for the kind reviews! And thanks for the offer of suggestions! I might take you up on that! :D I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! While I was writing it all I could think of was that M&Ms commercial where the red and yellow M&Ms see Santa and the red M&M and Santa faint... anyway... Enjoy!**

* * *

"I have to be more careful when I insult those West end rich kids." Ryan told Steve as his head was under the hood of some car.

"Why's that?" Steve watched over his work, offering assistance and guidance.

"Cause when they can't think up a good comeback, that's when the fists start flying." And since the fist start flying pretty much every day, this was a subtle insult in itself. Steve snickered.

"Rye…" They heard Soda approach.

"Yeah, I know," Ryan said absently as he tinkered with the engine. "I should send my fist flying once…"

"Rye…"

"And you're probably right, Soda, but…"

"Ryan." At the sound of this second, unexpected voice, Ryan hit his head on the underside of the hood and turned around quickly to find a frizzy haired girl with red-rimmed glasses.

"Julie!" He exclaimed surprised, gingerly rubbing his head.

Steve turned around wearing a wicked grin. "So, she is real! We were starting to think you made her up! And she looks exactly like your drawings!"

Julie shot questioning looks in Ryan's direction. "You drew me?" Ryan turned bright red, trying to get Steve to shut up, but Steve just ignored all his desperate gestures.

"Oh, yeah," Steve went on while Soda laughed. "He's got whole books filled with his drawings of you and he talks about you nonstop. He told us…"

"Julie!" Ryan interrupted. "I thought you were grounded."

"I am." Her confident smile morphed into an amused one as Steve embarrassed Ryan. "I was walking home and thought I'd stop by to meet at least some of your friends."

"I'll walk you home." Ryan grabbed his sweatshirt. "If that's okay with Soda."

"You should walk her home." Soda chuckled, still finding the whole thing to be hilarious.

"Why?" Julie asked as she headed outside, "I won't hurt anyone."

Before following her, he turned to Soda and Steve. "_Thanks_, Steve! And I _appreciate the help_, Soda!"

"What's the matter, kid?" Steve's evil smirk was still plastered on his face. "Ruin your rep? _Girls like that kind of stuff. They eat it up._" Ryan shot him a glare.

"What did she mean by friends?" Soda asked, taking over the engine Ryan worked on.

His glare turned apologetic. "It was just easier than explaining the whole foster care thing."

Soda ruffled his hair, letting him know it was alright. "Never keep a girl waiting, Rye."

As Ryan and Julie took off down the street, they could hear Julie saying to him, "You've been holding out on me. I want to see these drawings."

"Ryan really likes this girl," Soda stopped what he was doing as he thought.

Catching his friend's look, Steve asked, "But?"

"I just hope she doesn't hurt him."


	24. Difference of Opinion

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders. I do own Ryan and Julie.**

**AN: As always, thank you for the reviews! :D Ryan's revenge will come... later, though. And I'm predicting Ryan reading the theme will come next... however, keep in mind forecasts can be wrong... but there is an 80% chance of the reading of the theme next... Enjoy!**

* * *

Ponyboy went out for a smoke and some fresh air and was surprised to find Ryan sitting on the bottom steps of the porch. He left for a date with Julie a little over an hour ago and wasn't expected home for some time. As Pony lit his kool, he glanced over at the fifteen year old who was staring up at the stars. "You're home a little early, aren't you?" Ryan shrugged and Pony noticed the abject expression. "How long have you been out here?"

Ryan shrugged. "I don't really know."

"Are you feeling alright?" Frowning, Pony placed his hand on Ryan's forehead. The sudden and unexpected movement made Ryan flinch away and Pony felt bad, thinking he should have given him more of a warning. "Sorry." He withdrew his hand. "You don't feel warm."

Ryan was quiet and Pony grabbed a seat next to him. He knew that look. "The stars sure are tuff tonight. Comforting, even." Rya glanced at him for a moment, but then quickly returned his attention back to the sky. Studying him, Pony slung his arm around Ryan's shoulders. "Tell me what happened." If it was asked any other way, there would have been no response.

"We had a difference of opinion." Ryan mumbled miserably, refusing to look at Pony.

"Misunderstandings and arguments happen in…"

"This was different." His face and voice darkened. And he began to explain how everything was going great. They met up with Julie's friends and their dates at the drive-in. Everyone was having a fantastic time, when her and her friends began talking about soldiers. He didn't even know why they were talking about it, but he began retorting back.

Julie looked at him in confusion. "I thought you said you were against the war."

He thought that she would've been upset too, and passionately defending the people her friends were affronting, not joining in. "There's a difference between being against the war and being against the soldiers! You are going after the wrong people!"

"The soldiers are the ones burning villages and killing babies!" She argued heatedly.

"The soldiers have no choice if that's what the orders are! You should be going after the people who _give_ the orders!" Ryan shot back.

Putting a hand on her hip, her eyes turned fiery. "There is always a choice. They are still the ones who carried out the orders. Those bastard baby killers deserve what they get!"

"Shut your mouth!" Ryan cried. "You are talking about my brother!"

"I am not!"

"You are too! Every time you bad mouth the soldiers, you are bad mouthing my brother! And you need to shut up!"

Stubbornly, she spat out. "We didn't ask them to go over there!"

"And my brother didn't ask to be drafted! Soldiers like my brother are just trying to survive!"

Her eyes narrowed. "I cannot believe you are justifying…"

People were starting to turn and stare, but he didn't care. "I am justifying nothing! What I cannot believe is that you are condemning people like my brother! I thought you would've been the last person to do such a thing! I thought you were better than that! I am against war, but I am also against loud mouth hypocrites who attack people like my brother!"

Her lips pursed sourly. "It appears we've reached an impasse. I will not compromise my values to be with someone who supports this genocide!"

His fists clenched at his sides. "You haven't listened to a word I said!"

"I'm done." She replied simply.

"So am I!" Ryan stormed off, calling over his shoulder, "Just remember who you are talking about next time you open your mouth!"

As Ryan finished explaining, Pony rubbed the kid's arms, trying to warm him up. He was shivering and ice cold. "I'm sorry, Ryan. She shouldn't have said those things."

Ryan shrugged. "I just thought… She was different, you know? But she crossed a line." Shaking his head, he derided. "I was so stupid to think… And I really liked her! I read over twenty books for her! I really hate the color red!"

"I know this doesn't help any, but it's her loss. She doesn't deserve you. You'll find someone better."

"She wasn't worth it." His eyes remained glued to those stars. And Pony knew he wanted his brother. He wanted Gopher at this moment and the closest he could get was the idea that he was staring at the same stars half a world away. Right at this moment, with his heart broken, what he needed was to hear one of Gopher's impressions and feel his brother's arm around his shoulders, not Pony's.

"It's freezing. We should head inside." Pony didn't want him getting sick again. Ryan's eyes turned pleading. "Just a little bit longer. Then you have to come inside." Pony gave in. "You want company?" Ryan shook his head. Heading inside, Pony tossed him a blanket from the living room, giving him ten minutes.

The gang gave Pony questioning looks. As he filled them in, there were many exclamations of "that bitch" and other colorful expressions.

When ten minutes were up, Pony went back outside, only to find Ryan curled up underneath the blanket, fast asleep. "He's a bit too big to carry." And he hated the idea of waking him up. The kid could use the sleep after all the nightmares he was having. It wasn't every night, but it was frequent enough to deprive him and make him fatigued and worn out.

Soda chuckled, staring at kid. "You can't let him camp out on the porch again. It's too cold."

"I can carry him." Darry offered, gently picking Ryan up like he was nothing and carrying him to bed. Tucking him in, Darry brushed the tangled hair out of his face. "Poor kid." As he turned to leave, he noticed Pony's theme sticking out of a stack of books Ryan was planning on reading. Pulling the theme out carefully, he placed it on Ryan's night table, before turning out the lights and quietly closing the door behind him.


	25. Miracle of Chocolate and A Good Book

**Disclaimer: S.E. Hinton created The Outsiders. They belong to her. I created Ryan. He belongs to me.**

**AN: ****HawksNelsonFangirl**** asked if I was going to do a chapter where Ryan reads Ponyboy's theme. Well here it is... sort of... at least, this is what I came up with. :D Thank you for the reviews! I appreciate them greatly! Also, Ryan will get his revenge! Mwhahahahaha! I am planning on tying that to another idea I have closer to the end of the story... but rest assured he will get his revenge. I already know how the story will end, but I'm not telling! XD You will have to read the whole thing to see if it is happy or not! Also, I am open to suggestions. Suggest away! There is no guarantee they will end up in the story, unfortunately. Sometimes my characters have a mind of their own... but I will see what I can do... Story onward... Enjoy!**

* * *

Ryan stumbled into the kitchen, yawning and rubbing his eyes. He plopped down at the table, mumbling "morning" to the gang, who watched him closely.

"Here." Soda handed him a slice of chocolate cake that had a colorful, vibrant smile on it.

Mimicking Two-bit's cocked eyebrow, Ryan stared at it in confusion. "What's this?"

"Breakfast, Sherlock," Steve answered.

Two-bit laughed. "And it's happy to see you."

"Medicine." Soda flashed his famous grin, eliciting a small one from Ryan. "Chocolate fixes everything."

Carefully, Ryan studied it, picking up his fork. "Did you make it?" Soda confirmed he did. Ryan's face lit up and he enthusiastically began to eat. "I think Pony's crazy! Your cakes are much better than Darry's! You put just the right amount of sugar in the icing. Darry never puts enough in."

Soda looked at Darry with mock superiority. Darry just rolled his eyes. "He likes _my_ cakes better!" Soda stuck out his tongue, causing everyone to chuckle.

"When did I say that?" Pony wiped away a chocolate milk mustache.

"When you were fourteen."

"What are you going on about?" Steve asked Ryan as he leaned on the counter.

Darry smiled. "You read Pony's theme." Ryan nodded.

"What? When? Last night?"

Again, Ryan nodded. "I woke up around midnight and couldn't go back to sleep. It was really good, Pony. I couldn't put it down."

Upon closer examination, Pony realized Ryan's eyes were red and puffy and he did everything in his power to avoid everyone's gaze. He wasn't rubbing his eyes. He was wiping them. "Are you alright?" Ryan nodded, but he would've nodded if he wasn't.

"What did you think?" Darry asked.

Ryan put his fork down, considering his words. That was a loaded question. He thought so many different things over the course of reading the theme. His first immediate reaction was that he hated that Johnny had died and how he wept for someone he felt he knew like his own buddy, even if he only knew him for the couple of hours he spent reading the paper. He thought how much he would've liked to have met Johnny and how he seemed like a real good buddy to have.

He thought that if Darry wanted Pony to use his head, then he shouldn't have lost his own and how he thought Darry and Pony were much more similar than everybody thought. Not that Pony yelled a lot or was anywhere near as scary as Darry could be. But little things like how they both jammed their hands in their pockets or how they used the say excuse: "I didn't mean to" and how they both took education and athletics seriously.

He thought Dally sounded real interesting. Logically, he could get Dally, but he could not really understand him. To Ryan, Dallas Winston sounded more frightening and intimidating than Darry first appeared.

And he wondered if Tre and Hopper ever felt toward him what Steve felt toward Pony. He marveled at how everyone in the kitchen could go through so much and still remain themselves and hoped when Gopher returned, it would be the same way with him. And he was sorry for all their loss and couldn't imagine going through something like that. (He hoped he would never have to go through something like that).

He couldn't stand Cherry and Sandy at the end. He wondered what Pony ever saw in Cherry and how Soda could have still wanted to be with Sandy after she cheated on him and was pregnant with someone else's kid. Julie insulted his brother and that was it for Ryan. He didn't get it, but it was nice to know he wasn't alone with the whole broken heart.

He also disagreed with Cherry. It was hard to believe things really were _rough all over_ when the Socs got all the breaks. (Oh yeah, he finally understood what the hell the gang meant by Soc, Greaser, tuff, etc.) Though, by the end of the story, he did find that Soc guy, Randy, to be almost human. It was difficult to see any of the rich West end kids as human, though. And he doubted any of them saw the same sunset. It was not like with the stars and his brother. And he found it hard to sympathize with that stupid bastard Soc, Bob, who almost drowned Pony because he never heard 'no'. He found it sad that after all this time, so little had changed. But was glad it did not get to that point, yet, with the West end rich kids he was facing.

Overall, he found it helpful, if for no other reason, then for letting him know he wasn't alone. It was the first time a book talked so much about what he was going through. The first time he could relate to the characters. And for those hours that he was lost in 60's Tulsa, he could escape from his own problems.

On top of all that, he had a better understanding of the gang. He got Pony. He understood him. And he was starting to understand why Pony got him so well.

He didn't realize he was thinking out loud until Two-bit let out an amazed whistle and Steve commented, "That's a mouthful coming from you." That's when he noticed everybody's eyes on him and he quickly diverted his own, blushing and hiding behind strands of his hair as he tugged at his sweatshirt sleeves. "Sorry," he mumbled.

"It's alright." Pony assured him. "I'm just glad it helped."


	26. Nothing but the Truth

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders.**

**AN: Thank you for all the kind reviews! They really make my day! And thank you for the suggestion! A reviewer suggested the gang play truth or dare and ask Ryan a certain question! This is what I came up with. It was a lot of fun to write, but I suck at truth or dare. I am pathetic at coming up with dares and truths so be forewarned... Anyhow, Enjoy!**

* * *

Two-bit sighed dramatically as he turned off the television and tossed the remote to the side. He glanced around the room at his fellow Greasers. Steve and Soda were arm wrestling. Pony was working on some type of article. Darry read the paper and Ryan was drawing something. All in all, it was a typical night in the Curtis living room. There was absolutely nothing going on and with the television off only the radio was blaring, which did not suit Two-bit's taste in the least. "Well, I'm bored!" Two-bit announced.

"Read a book." Pony suggested.

Two-bit broke out laughing. "That's hilarious! Good one, Pony!" Ponyboy just rolled his eyes and went on working. No one else responded. On the verge of dying of boredom, Two-bit had an idea. "I've got a better idea! Let's play truth or dare!"

Everyone immediately groaned and began to protest loudly. Nobody seemed to like the idea. But Two-bit was adamant and argued back, just as loud. Out of the vociferous cacophony, Ryan's quiet voice broke through. "What's truth or dare?" Suddenly, everything was quiet and all eyes were on him.

"Glory, kid! Haven't you ever played truth or dare?" Steve, like the rest of the gang, was stunned. Ryan shook his head. They couldn't believe what they were hearing. What kid never played truth or dare? It was yet another thing this kid was deprived of. "What did you do with Gopher and his buddies?"

"Mostly card games." Ryan answered, closing his sketch pad and tossing it aside. "You know, Mao, War, Spoons, Trash. I never heard of truth or dare." He was interested, but as always, kept his mouth shut. A new game did sound fun, though.

The gang exchanged a look and Pony shrugged, beginning to put his article away. "I guess it's settled then. We're playing truth or dare." Everyone agreed.

Darry took over, not believing he was actually going to play this. He explained the rules, reminding Two-bit to keep it appropriate and legal. He pointed to Steve. "You start."

With a shrug and lack of interest, Steve turned to Two-bit. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare." Two-bit chose.

"I dare you to get a job."

Two-bit's crazy grin widened. "I already have one!"

This caught everyone by surprise. Two-bit having a job? Impossible! "You do?" "What is it?" "No, you don't."

"Yep! Entertaining you all." He proudly held his head up high. "Soda, truth or dare."

"Truth." Soda decided.

"Who was your first kiss?"

Soda had to think about that one. "Okay… let's see. Edith, Ruth, Lucy, Mary, Sarah, Debbie, Sherry and Eleanor were second grade. Jodie, Rose, Shirley, Judith, Virginia, Jane, Emily, and Denise were first grade. But in kindergarten there was… I think her name was, Amy something-or-other."

Steve snickered. "Nice last name. Real memorable I see."

"At least my first kiss wasn't with 'that brown haired girl with pig tails and freckles' from the fourth grade!" Soda retorted. "Pony, truth or dare?"

"Truth." Pony answered.

"I know you and Steve haven't always gotten along, but do you still feel the same way about each other as you did when you were younger? And remember you picked _truth_, so you can't lie!"

Pony shook his head. "No, we get along better now. We grew up." He turned to Ryan, who found the game fascinating and was greatly amused. "Truth or dare?" Out of the two, dare seemed safer. "I dare you to draw a moustache on your face."

The corners of his mouth twitched. Picking up a marker, he began to draw an elaborate moustache on himself, causing everyone to snicker. Of course it didn't help that it was bright blue and halfway through the marker dried up and he had to use a purple one to finish. Everyone was rolling on the floor laughing as he simply rolled his eyes, unable to stop the full-tooth smile that stretched underneath his half blue/ half purple moustache. "Truth or dare, Darry?"

"Truth."

Ryan thought for a moment. "What is the one thing you regret the most?" It was the first thing that came to mind. Immediately, he regretted asking it when he saw Darry's face and began apologizing.

"It's alright. It's a good question." This question required no thought. "The thing I regret most is hitting Pony. Truth or dare… Ryan?"

Ryan blinked. "Back to me?"

"We choose whoever we want." Darry clarified.

"Dare, then."

Darry grinned. "I dare you to comb your hair!"

Ryan frowned as Darry retrieved the comb from the bathroom. He stared at it reluctantly as he was reminded of the rules. Unwillingly, he dragged the comb through his chestnut hair, untangling every knot. Thus the game went on.

Two-bit dared Darry to "embrace his inner Superman". As Darry, this tough, intimidating, muscular Greaser sat there with his underwear over his pants, everyone cracked up laughing. Ryan thought this was highly entertaining.

Steve dared Pony to eat bologna, which was rather cruel. But Pony got him back by daring him to drink a really spicy combination of ingredients. Everyone laughed as they watched Steve's face turn red, his eyes water, and steam roll out of his ears and nose.

Darry dared Soda to put an ice cube down his shirt. Soda dropped it down the back and everyone was unable to breath as they held their stomachs and wiped tears from their eyes, watching Soda yelped and gasped, squirming and wiggling around, that much more unable to sit still.

Soda dared Ryan to grease his hair. With some help, Ryan finally emerged from the bathroom with it all greased back and everyone commented how tuff it made him look.

Embarrassing and hilarious truths were revealed such as firsts; tough, intimidating Greaser's irrational fears; weirdest dreams; worst dates; most embarrassing moments; and how old Ponyboy really was when he first saw a bra. The only other time they heard Ryan laugh so hard and so much was when they tickled him.

Ryan decided to take a chance and finally chose truth.

"Are you still in love with Julie?" Two-bit asked. Ryan regretted taking the chance, but they wouldn't let him switch to dare.

"That's a bit personal, don't you think?" Blushing bright red, Ryan tried every way he could think of to get out of answering. "It's none of your business!" Well, that was the _point_! "But it is unfair question?" How so? He couldn't answer that. When all else failed, he reverted to "I'm not going to answer that!" But the gang was persistent. Ryan sighed. "I am not going out with her again."

"That's not what he asked!" Steve objected.

"He asked if you still like her." Soda added.

"I still think about her…"

"Not what he asked." Darry pointed out.

"I shouldn't…"

"But?" Pony urged him on.

Stubbornness was written all over his face. He sent a hard glare at Two-bit. "Fine! I still like her!" He finally admitted, turning an even brighter shade of red. "Truth or dare, Two-bit Mathews?" Everyone chuckled and oohed at the use of his full name. Ryan wanted to get revenge, but Two-bit refused to cower at the fifteen year old. He was feeling daring. "I dare you to be spun until you can't stand or see straight and then to stand on your head for two rounds!"


	27. Same Old Song and Dance

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders.**

**AN: Thank you for the review! :D I really don't have an author's note for this... hm... that's a first... well, in any case... Enjoy! And feel free to share any suggestions, ask any questions, etc.**

* * *

By now, all Pony had to do was stick his head into his boss's office and the boss would give him the okay to go. He was just damn lucky he was such a great writer and brought publicity to the paper. If that's what it took to ensure his job, he'd take it. As he grabbed his coat, heading out to his truck, explaining he'd be back as soon as he could, his boss started talking about parenting strategies and how he had four kids and he was never called into the principal's office so much and would Pony like to know why that was. Gritting his teeth, Ponyboy forced civility in his words, explaining how it really wasn't Ryan's fault, it most likely was a misunderstanding, and he really had to be going. As he drove to the school, he finished his cigarette.

Sinking into the chair next to Ryan and opposite the principal, he flashed a dangerous look to the principal who was starting to look more and more like Ryan's drawing of a toad. "This better be good!" Ryan flinched at the snarl, but the principal seemed unfazed or at least good at hiding it.

Folding his hands, he returned the stare with a steady one of his own. His mouth was a rigid, sharp line and his eyes were stern, cutting through Ryan. It was then Pony noticed the green in his eyes. Though, Ryan was sure they had a red glow behind them. "Mr. Curtis, you were called down here because Orion…"

"It's Ryan." They went through this every time. You would have thought he'd get it by now.

Ignoring him as always, the principal continued. "…was caught skipping class and breaking into another student's locker."

Pony looked over to Ryan. This was a new one. Ryan kept his eyes diverted and his mouth shut. "Is this true?" Ryan nodded. But this didn't make sense. Ryan was not one to do something like that. "Why?"

Ryan mumbled, "A kid was shoved and locked in the locker." That was all he would say in front of the principal, refusing to give names or specifics.

When Pony and him were walking to his locker to grab his stuff, he told Pony about how he saw three West-end rich kids… Socs…pick on a Greaser and shove him into a random locker, locking him in. Everyone else just ignored or was oblivious to the ongoing scene.

Ryan stepped in, trying to stand up for and get them to release the kid. When the Socs couldn't match his wit, fists flew. Luckily no one saw that either. When the bell rang, the Socs left for class, laughing their asses off like it was the most hilarious thing. Ryan found it sickening and even more sickening that nobody did anything to interfere or help. In that moment, Ryan considered the kid in the locker more important than English class.

"Why didn't you give the principal names?" Pony asked him. He couldn't believe that once again Ryan was getting in trouble for having a good heart.

Ryan stared at his feet as they walked along the empty hallway. "I'm not snitch. Even if I knew and gave the toad names, he wouldn't do anything about the Socs and the Greaser doesn't need any more trouble."

Pony playfully put him in a headlock and ruffled his hair. "Why are you always the one playing hero, huh?"

Laughing, Ryan pushed Pony back. "I'm not the one who ran into a burning building to save a bunch of kids." His laughter died and he stopped dead in his tracks as he stared at his locker.

Concerned, Pony looked back at him, questioning him with his eyes. "Why don't I meet you at the truck, Pony? You don't need to come to my locker." Finding this very suspicious and Ryan's tone unusually dark, he followed the fifteen year old's gaze.

The locker was completely defaced. Graffiti covered every inch of the surface with derogatory, malicious comments. Lowly white trash. No one gives a shit about you. Future Janitor. Pansy. J.D. Hood. Worthless. And various other insults that made anyone who read them want to crawl into a hole and die.

Ponyboy was livid. He wore a dangerous look as he tore all the notes down, balling them up and throwing them away. Each one he saw was worse than the one before it. But he could do nothing for the ones written in marker and carved into the metal.

Ryan stood behind Pony, eyes wide. "Can we just go? Please, Pony, can we just get out of here?" He pleaded, trying to hide the crack in his voice. "_Please_!" Needless to say, he didn't feel too hot.

Throwing an arm around Ryan's shoulders, he led the kid away from the offensive locker. "Let's go. I am going to have a word with your principal." Pony wanted to make every last one of them pay, make them regret everything they've done to Ryan, make them think twice before messing with him again, and make them leave his kid alone! So would the rest of the gang.

"Hey." Pony nudged Ryan as they entered the truck and began driving home. "Don't believe a word of it. None of its true."

"It's just words." Ryan mumbled. "I'm just too oversensitive."

Ponyboy frowned. "Who told you that?"

Ryan shrugged miserably. "My principal. My teachers. The people at the group home. My father." His voice became smaller and smaller.

Ponyboy's knuckles turned white as he gripped the steering wheel. "You ain't oversensitive. Words hurt, just as much as getting beaten up. Everything they told you is wrong." He glanced over to Ryan as he drove. "You don't believe them, do you?"

Ryan kept his eyes glued to the window, feeling like shit. "When you've heard something for a long time, it's hard not to believe it."


	28. Red Flag

**Disclaimer: The Outsiders are not owned by me. They are owned by S.E. Hinton**

**AN: Thank you for the reviews! :D It appears I have been slacking but you know with the holidays and all... lol :D I have one tickling chapter planned out, but I don't want to post it because it goes along with my plans for the end of the story and I'm not ready to end the story. There will probably be more tickling chapters. I'll see what I can do. Suggestions are always welcome. About this chapter...I was telling my mom I didn't know if this was sad enough. You know, if I capture the emotion well enough. And she found the whole "sad enough" thing a bit troubling, but she said she understood what I meant.**

* * *

Gulping, Ryan wanted to sink further into the couch. He flushed bright red and began trembling, refusing to speak. It was not something he wanted to talk about. They said they could wait all night. That was perfectly alright with him. He'd rather wait. Waiting to the end of time had more appeal than talking about it.

He couldn't meet their eyes as the three Curtis brothers stood in front of him, waiting for an answer. Fat chance! It was a question they were not about to get an answer to. Not willingly, anyway.

Ponyboy met with his gym teacher. Apparently Ryan would fail P.E. for the quarter if he continued to refuse to change for class. Ponyboy didn't understand. What did he mean Ryan refused to change for gym class? Why would he refuse?

Contemplating this as he drove home, he came to the realization that he never saw Ryan without a shirt on. Even when he was changing his shirt for a date he closed the door to his bedroom. He thought nothing of it, then. And neither did the rest of the gang.

When he got home, he shared with them about his meeting with the gym teacher. None of them realized that they never saw Ryan without his shirt, either. "Maybe he's just shy?" "Maybe he gave his uniform away." "Maybe it has something to do with him being bullied." "Or something the people at the group home told him." They speculated. But Pony couldn't shake this feeling that he had. Something was telling him this was more than that, a red flag. Ryan was hiding something.

Two-bit left to hunt action and Steve had a date with Evie. As they headed out, they demanded to be informed about the situation. Once they were gone, the Curtis brothers called Ryan out of his room and asked him the question that was on all their minds: Why?

When Ryan's refusal to answer became evident, Pony asked him, "Truth or dare?" It was a lose-lose scenario for Ryan. Pony gave him two options: tell them or show them. Neither choice was one Ryan wanted to do.

"Come on, Rye." Soda smiled at him encouragingly. "You trust us, don't you?"

Darry was losing patience. "We can do this the hard way or the easy way." Either Ryan could remove his shirt or Darry would. Ryan stiffened, his head hung low. He couldn't move as tears began streaming his reddened face. "The hard way it is." Darry pulled Ryan to his feet, lifting his shirt. "D-don't. P-please." Ryan pleaded; his voice breaking.

Sodapop, Poyboy, and Darry gasped. Their eyes widened. Exposed to all three were welts and scars criss-crossing along the trembling fifteen year old's bare back. They felt sick to their stomachs at the thought of someone doing that to Ryan and they wanted to hunt down and murder his father. "Ryan." They pulled him into an embrace, holding onto him tightly. "Rye." They stroked his hair and wiped the tears that streaked his face. "Honey." They offered him their comfort, their support, and their love, and he melted in their arms. "Baby."


	29. Fault

**Disclaimer: The Outsiders belong to S.E. Hinton.**

**AN: Thank you for all the reviews! I apologize for my cruelness of leaving off the last chapter the way I did. I really didn't mean to be so mean, but it just sort of worked that way. You can think of this chapter as part two of Red Flag.**

* * *

"How can someone do that to their kid?" Soda asked as he, Darry, and Pony leaned on the doorframe and the wall, watching Ryan sleep. It pained them all those years ago to see what Johnny went through and now it killed them to see what Ryan's father did to Ryan and all those indelible scars, some unseen to the naked eye.

Darry put a hand on Soda's shoulder. "I don't know, little buddy."

"He doesn't think we'll do that to him, does he?"

"I don't know." Darry repeated.

"Because we would never! We love him! We would never let anything hurt him!" Soda went on as though his brothers were the ones who needed convincing. Ryan began to stir.

"Sh. Soda, we know."

Soda looked over to his younger brother. Ponyboy was being awfully quiet as he stared at Ryan. Throwing an arm around Pony's shoulders, Soda wanted to know what was on his mind. "I should've known." Pony's voice was guilt-ridden.

"None of us knew." Soda tried to console him.

"Yeah, but you ain't his guardian. I am."

"There's no way you could've known, Pony." Darry told him.

Pony gave him a sad, lost look. "I don't know what to do for him. What do we do, Darry?"

Darry sighed. "I don't know. I guess what we've been doing. Be there for him."

"Don't feel bad, Pony." Came a voice from the darkened room. The three turned to find Ryan sitting up in bed, rubbing his eyes.

"Sorry Ryan." Pony came into the room followed by Darry and Soda. Darry sat on the foot of the bed. Pony grabbed a seat next to Ryan and Soda sat on the other side. "We didn't mean to wake you."

"You didn't." Ryan leaned his head tiredly against Pony's shoulder. He was jolted awake by a dream he'd rather forget. "But you shouldn't feel bad."

"We just don't like to see you hurt, Rye." Soda told him.

"But it ain't your fault. If I didn't piss off my old man or weren't so much trouble…"

"No," Pony said firmly, shaking his head. "It ain't your fault, either."

Darry lifted Ryan's chin. "Your father was wrong. You didn't deserve any of it. It ain't your fault. It's his and he was wrong, you hear me?"

Ryan nodded with a yawn. "Gopher bore the worst of it. He'd always try to get our father's attention away from me or try to get me out of the house before it began." His eyes drooped shut as he mumbled about how it didn't always work, but that Pony, Soda, and Darry shouldn't feel bad.

"Here. Lie back." Pony carefully tucked the blanket back around him. "Try to get some sleep, baby."

Darry bid good night, telling him it wasn't his fault. Soda kissed Ryan's forehead, telling him they'd never hurt him. Pony brushed the hair out of Ryan's face and kissed his forehead. "I love you." He whispered and as he turned to leave, he could've sworn he saw Ryan smile.


	30. A Very Greasy Christmas

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders. Nor do I own Scrooge or Tiny Tim.**

**AN: WOO! Thanks for the reviews! They are greatly appreciated! Also, I love the idea of a school dance, but I'm not sure about the new girlfriend. I'll see where it goes, but expect a chapter about a school dance. I appreciate the suggestions! They are always welcome! :D This one neighborhood near where I live really goes all out for the holidays and my family and I drove around to look at the lights and I got an idea for my story. This is what grew from that idea. There are two tickling incidents for all of you have been wanting more of the tickling. I wish you all Happy Holidays!**

* * *

Ryan seemed jumpier than usual, more quiet and withdrawn. You never would have guessed it was the holiday season by looking at him. When everyone else was merry and jolly with the holiday spirit, something seemed to put a damper on his own.

"What do you usually do for the holidays?" Pony asked Ryan as he helped Darry and Soda carry boxes into the living room.

"Nothing."

"Not anything?" Soda asked him as he wiped a year of dust off his hands from the boxes. "Not even put up a tree?"

"Christmas sort of died with our mom." Ryan explained, watching Darry tote two large boxes into the living room. "Our old man just didn't do Christmas and got awfully mean during the holiday season. We'd never ask for anything, but he always acted like we expected something. He'd get worse than usual and it escalated as the years went on. We'd beat it out of there when the department stores put up all the holiday stuff. In the more recent years we had to bail around Thanksgiving or earlier. We would stay with Hopper and Tre. Gopher would always try to do stuff for Christmas, which meant a lot, but it never worked out. We could never afford anything. This one year," Ryan chuckled at the memory, "Gopher collected these sad looking, pathetic twigs, painted them this terrible, obnoxious green he stole from school, and taped them together for a tree. He worked days on it, but the thing broke the moment it left his hand. Just the effort he put into trying to give me Christmas meant a lot, you know?"

Ryan thought for a moment and hope crossed his face as he looked up at Ponyboy and Sodapop. Hesitantly, he ventured. "Every year Gopher did take me to see the lights." It was a way of asking without acting posing the question. "Hopper and Tre would normally tag along. The first year, Gopher tried to hold my hand, but I'd become so excited that I kept on running off. It got to the point where each year he'd give me a piggy back ride just to contain me."

"Yeah?" Pony smiled, exchanging a look with Soda. "Maybe we can do it this year."

Ryan's whole face lit up. "Really?" Pony and Soda nodded as Darry brought in the tree. It was then they decided to really do up Christmas for Ryan. Starting with the tree.

As Darry set the tree up, Steve and Two-bit came over and everyone tore into the boxes, setting out the ornaments, most of which were handmade. Ryan couldn't help but smile as they began belting out Christmas carols and decorated the tree, sharing stories for almost every ornament that was hung. They shared countless memories laughing and smiling.

"What about this?" Ryan held up a handmade glittery object. "What is this?" He laughed at the eight very different points.

"That's the star." Pony explained. "We had a really nice, glass one that broke one year and mom was devastated. Everyone in the gang made that for her. We each did a point and signed the last one." Ryan didn't need any help identifying who did which point, from Soda's mixed colors and overuse of glitter to Pony's meticulous and complicated designs.

"How are we going to get it up there?" Ryan stared up at the top of the tree.

Two-bit flashed a grin. "Superman will give you a lift, Tiny Tim!" He dodged Ryan's playful swing, laughing. "So Tiny _can _throw a punch!"

Darry lifted Ryan on his shoulders and Ryan stuck his tongue out at Two-bit. Once he secured the homemade star, he stretched his arms out wide. "Who you calling Tiny, Shorty?"

Darry exchanged a conspiring look with the rest of the gang and flipped Ryan onto the couch. Instantly, Darry, Soda, and Pony began tickling him mercilessly. Laughing and gasping for breath, he tried to squirm away, but they would not let up and Steve and Two-bit found the whole thing hilarious.

"Who's the all powerful supreme leader of awesomeness?" Two-bit asked as if he had any say in the tickling.

"N-not y-y-you!" Ryan howled in laughter. Chuckling at that, they finally let up and let him catch his breath. Two-bit feigned offense, but ruffled his hair with a grin. "One…of these… days…I will… get… revenge!" He warned, laughing and trying to breathe regularly.

Darry, Pony, and Steve headed outside to untangle lights, while Soda took Ryan in the kitchen to make cookies. The moment Two-bit heard food, he followed them. "And don't eat the cookie dough!" Darry called from outside.

Soda put a finger to his lips and popped some in his mouth, handing a chunk to Ryan. Smiling, Ryan followed suit. "Yes, mom!" Soda hollered, causing Ryan and Two-bit to snicker. He and Ryan began decorating cookies and Two-bit snacked on the dough and candy.

"Is this too much icing?" Ryan carefully drew on the cookie, while Soda piled and mixed color after color and candy after candy.

"Is there such a thing as too much?" Finishing up the final cookie, Soda placed it on the plate. "There."

"Looks like a Jackson Pollock." Ryan complimented.

Darry called them outside to help with the lights. Pony, Ryan, and Soda stood back dictating where the strands should go and Steve and Darry followed their directions. Two-bit sat on the porch, making funny comments.

"_Thanks for the help, _Two-bit." Steve grunted as he held up the lights.

"You're welcome. Whatever I can do to help." Two-bit rested his feet on the railing and put his hands behind his head.

"A little higher!" Pony called.

"Near the strand of blue, Stevie buddy!" Soda instructed.

"Right… there! Perfect!" Ryan nodded in satisfaction.

When the lights were all hung, they piled into the bed of Darry's truck and Darry drove them around to look at the lights. They watched Ryan's face become brighter and euphoric. He was bouncing in his seat, pointing at each house, exclaiming excitedly, "Look at that one! Ooh! Did you see that? Ooh! Ooh! Check that one out!" He was like a five year old rather than a fifteen year old. When he noticed everyone stifling a laugh and realized he completely let his guard down, he cleared his throat, sitting back, bright red and eyes diverted. "I mean… those look real tuff." This caused everyone to laugh even harder.

Pony threw an arm around Ryan's shoulders and pointed to another house. "Look at that one." Soda flashed Ryan his famous movie-star smile, gaining the euphoric grin from the kid all over again.

When they reentered the house, Ryan took one last look at the outside lights. "I think our home is the best." Everyone smiled at that. They crashed around the living room after enjoying some cookies, milk, and eggnog, listening to Pony read different Christmas stories.

The next morning, the whole gang woke early. Ryan was still curled up beneath a heavy blanket. As Darry made coffee and hot chocolate for everyone, everyone else tried to wake Ryan. Pony shook his shoulder as Soda made the couch bounce. Steve made threats of drenching him in ice water. "It's Christmas! Don't you want to see what Santa brought you?" Two-bit loudly and cheerfully asked.

Ryan turned over, away from them. "Bah Humbug! It's too early!" He mumbled, burying himself further under the blanket.

Darry set the mugs on the coffee table and grinned evilly at Soda and Pony. "Rise and shine, Scrooge!" And the three of them tickled him until he swore he was awake.

"I don't know." Soda teased.

"We better make sure." Darry added.

"I'm awake!" Ryan cried out, laughing so hard that there were tears in his eyes. "Wide awake!"

They let up and everyone gathered around the tree. There weren't many presents, only a couple for each. The way it worked was everyone pitched in for the gift. For Ryan, who had no money, he helped out in other ways, whether it was making the wrapping paper, making suggestions for what to get or wrapping them.

One by one they tore into their gifts, thrilled with what they got. Steve received a new tool box and a tuff looking mustang ornament. Two-bit was given a new switch and a six pack of beer. Darry got a new tool belt for work and some weights. Soda's gift was Spin Art and a plastic horse that resembled Mickey. Pony's was a gray press hat, which he wore proudly, and some books.

There was one gift for Ryan, a single present and it was large. It might not have seemed like a lot, but it meant so much to simply have something that was there special for him. Everyone chanted, "Open it! Open it!" And applauded and cheered when he ripped the paper off.

He sat back, stunned, jaw hitting the floor as he stared at a beautiful wooden box with drawers. In each drawer were different art supplies: pastels, colored pencils, markers, wax crayons, charcoal, water colors, oils, etc. It was an art supply kit any artist would've dreamed of. He was speechless.

"Do you like it?" Soda asked.

Ryan couldn't take his eyes off it. "This looks expensive. It must have cost you a fortune."

"Shut up! That's none of your concern!" They told him, repeating Soda's question.

"Like it?" A smile exploded across Ryan's whole face. "I love it. Thank you." He ran his hand over the top of the wood in awe of it.

"Hey, we missed one!" Two-bit pulled out a manila envelope out from under the tree. He opened it and everyone, but Ryan, peered over his shoulder. It was a portrait of the whole gang when they were about Ryan's age, including Dally and Johnny. In the bottom right hand corner 'Happy Holidays' was scrawled, as well as Ryan's signature.

"Rye…" It was their turn to be speechless. It was magnificent and they all agreed it was the greatest gift. "We can't thank you enough."

"But the best gift of all," Pony told Ryan, "Is having you with us."


	31. Formal Blackmail

**Disclaimer: The Outsiders is by S.E. Hinton.**

**AN: Thank you for all the reviews! :D I'm glad so many people enjoyed the last chapter. I hope everyone is having a great holiday. This chapter is based off a reviewer's suggestion. Thank you to whoever Guest is for the suggestion! Suggestions are always welcome! :D Enjoy!**

* * *

Ryan stood in a dark corner of the high school gym, thinking of all the places he would rather be and all the things he'd rather be doing. He didn't want to be there. He didn't want to go to school during the day. Why would he want to in the evening, as well? He was bored and felt out of place. Besides, the dance was girl's choice and no one asked him. Along with the miserable boredom and uncomfortable feeling of not belonging, which were pretty much a daily occurrence walking down the halls of the school, he felt like a complete idiot watching the kids from his class, who either hated him as much as he hated them or ignored him and acted like he was invisible, dance around to crappy music.

He told Pony and the gang that he didn't want to go. "What's the worst that can happen?" Pony asked him.

"Other than getting beaten up by Socs?" Ryan grumbled, not happy at their persistence. "I waste hours of my life that I'll never get back, standing in some corner alone, bored out of my mind, miserably watching other people dance." It was just as he predicted. And what was worse was he caught himself staring at a familiar, frizzy haired girl in red-rimmed glasses.

"Or," Soda had countered Ryan's protests and objections. "You will make a friend, find some pretty girl, and have fun!" They were all just concerned about him. He had no friends and the last time he hung out with someone his own age was when he went out with Julie. Of course, Ryan never had any friends growing up and spent most of his time with Gopher and Gopher's buddies, a point he made in his argument not to go.

Yet, somehow, Ryan found himself in the high school gymnasium at the Winter Formal. Though he promised the gang he'd leave his sketchbook and art supplies at home, he lifted a pen from one of the chaperons and began drawing on a stack of napkins, anything to distract him and make the time go quicker. The moment the pen hit the thin paper, he was in a whole other world.

"Ryan, right?" Ryan leapt out of his skin, turning quickly to find a girl who was in one of his classes. He'd seen her around the East side of Tulsa with her friends and like many other girls from the neighborhood, she had a reputation for being loud, cursing a lot, wearing a ton of makeup, and wearing skirts some considered to be an indecent length, not that Ryan minded. Her painted lips spread into a sly grin.

Ryan blushed, grinning sheepishly as he shook his head to bring him out of the daze. "Um… yes. And you're…um… Maureen. You sit two seats to the right of me in science."

"They call it a dance for a reason." Maureen put her hand on her hip.

"I suppose it's not much of a spectator's sport." Ryan agreed, hiding the napkin with his drawing.

"What the hell are you doing over here by yourself?" Her eyes looked him over, lingering.

"I could ask you the same thing." Unsatisfied with his answer, she snatched the napkin he was hiding from his grasp. "Hey!" He reached for it.

She waved it tauntingly in his face only to pull it back each time he attempted to retrieve it. "Lookie here! A masterpiece from the master artist himself!" She laughed. "I've seen your doodles in your notebook in class. You're not bad." He grimaced, eyes narrowing. "If you want your drawing back, you will have to dance with me!" He considered his options. "It's ladies choice and it's this or sulking pathetically in the corner." Begrudgingly, he agreed and she led him to the dance floor.

Once they reached a reasonable spot, Ryan lifted her hand, kissed her finger and bowed elaborately. Maureen was bewildered by this display, feeling almost everyone stare at the two of them. "What the hell are you doing?" She hissed, blushing in embarrassment.

He looked up at her with a sly, vengeful grin. She was the one who chose to blackmail him into dancing, and after all, she did want to dance, right? A slow song started and they began to dance.

"I'm surprised Julie didn't ask you." Maureen's sly grin seemed taunting.

Ryan shook his head. "We aren't seeing each other anymore."

"Why not?"

"Difference of opinion." Not wanting to continue that conversation, he changed the subject. "And you? You didn't ask anyone?"

"I asked you." She pointed out.

"No, you stole my drawing and blackmailed me with it to get me to dance." He corrected.

She ignored the comment. "You don't have many friends. You're always alone at lunch and off by yourself. You hardly talk to anyone," She observed. He shrugged. "You don't see to be having any fun."

Once more, he shrugged. "This is not really my thing."

"Mine either." She admitted. And they continued talking while they danced. He was starting to like her, and the feeling appeared to be mutual. He was surprised to hear himself open up and share things with her and she did the same with great ease. They were in their own little world. Before Ryan knew it, the dance was over.

"There's one more thing you'll need to do if you want your precious drawing back." She told him, as they waited outside for her ride. She put a hand on the back of his head and kissed him.

It took the honking of a car for her to pull back, leaving him speechless. As she handed him the drawing and started to walk off, he caught her hand and pulled her in for another kiss. Again, the car honked and she pulled away, smiling wildly. She took the stolen pen out of his pocket and scribbled her number on the palm of his hand. She turned with a wink, and he watched her walk away.

With a broad grin of his own, he headed off home. As he was leaving the parking lot of the school, some drunk Socs began talking about how Maureen was nothing but trash. Nothing could kill the feeling he had after kissing her, not even their comments. "If she's such trash, why did you spend half the night staring at her?" They started to mock his elaborate bow and kissing her finger. "Laugh all you want! I'm the one who got the girl, not the one who's drinking alone."

He entered the Curtis house with an extra skip in his step. Flopping on the couch beside Soda, he let out a content and heavenly sigh. A goofy smile was plastered on his face and he was oblivious to how all of the gang stared at him wide eyed.

"What happened?" They demanded, concerned. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fantastic!" Was his dreamy reply.

Pony sat down in front of him and turned Ryan's face. "What happened?"

"I met a girl!"

Everyone exchanged a look and Steve and Two-bit snickered. "You got beaten up by some girl?"

Ryan was still in total bliss. "I _kissed_ a girl!" He smiled proudly. Soda ruffled his hair and everyone congratulated him, demanding to know more. In a lively manner, in which he would never live down, he told them all about it and Two-bit cracked jokes and Steve and Soda teased him good naturedly.

Pony, in practiced patience, asked as he retrieved some ice for Ryan. "And your eye, Don Juan? What happened there?"

Ryan lightly touched his eye as though he forgot all about it. "I ran into some drunk Socs. They didn't like what I said." He shrugged. "But it doesn't matter."

Putting the ice on Ryan's eye, Pony couldn't help but chuckle. "Oh it doesn't, Lancelot?"

Ryan shook his head, sitting up excitedly, with a smile that always made Pony's day. "I kissed a girl, Pony, and it was wonderful!" He fell back into the couch with google-eyes and a laugh.

"_Wonderful_!" Two-bit mocked. "Either they hit his head too hard or its love!"

"Unbelievable!" Steve shook his head. "Romeo got himself another girl!"

Ryan looked at the palm of his hand and his face scrunched up in thought. "Only one thing. How long do you wait to call a girl?"

* * *

**AN: A final thought to leave you with before I write what happens next: Is it really love? Stay tuned for more to find out! :D**


	32. Spiked

**Disclaimer: The Outsiders is not mine.**

**AN: Thank you for the grand reviews! I appreciate them greatly! :D I'm glad you enjoyed my depiction of Greaser girls in my last chapter. Also, Guest, who gave the suggestion for the previous chapter, is Crystalteen. I just wanted to give her the proper recognition. I appreciate the suggestion for the double date, but this chapter was already planned out. You gave me a few ideas based off your suggestion, and I'm sorry, but I don't think I'll be able to do the whole thing. Feel free to suggest more, but like I said, there is no gaurantee that it will be in the story. But like I said, you have given me some ideas...**

* * *

"Ryan, are you okay?" Maureen asked as she lounged on the back of the chair Ryan sat in.

Ryan shook his head, wincing at the movement. "I don't feel alright at all." The room was spinning and his stomach was doing back flips. Realization dawned on him as he stared at the drink in his hand. "What did you give me to drink?"

"Just punch." She smiled, taking a sip from her own cup.

Stupid. Stupid! _STUPID!_ He berated himself in his mind. "And that's all that's in here?"

"Sure, I mean, they spiked it of course." Ryan's face fell and the cup dropped out of his hand. "You knew that, didn't you?" Ryan couldn't move. "I thought you knew. What does it matter? It should loosen you up a bit. I mean, you walk around here with a goddamn stick up your ass!" She laughed, drinking some more. "Come on, drink!" She handed him a cup. "Live it up for once! Have some fun!"

Ryan shook his head trying to stand up. He had to lean against the arm of the chair to remain on his feet. Frantically his heart beat and his voice was louder than he meant it to be. "That's not my idea of fun!"

"Look," She swirled the drink around in her hand, gesturing to him with it. "If you want to be a goddamn stick in the mud than go be a fucking stuck up prick, you dick, somewhere else! I don't need some bastard buzz kill! Get the hell out of here if you want, but I'm going to have some fun!" She hopped off her seat and danced into another room, starting to flirt with some other guy.

Ryan was starting to freak out. He stood there trying to think clearly enough to come up with a solution of what to do. He really didn't want to be there at all. Suddenly, he had a thought and stumbled into the kitchen. Leaning against the wall to remain upright, he began to dial the phone. But he stopped after the third number. There was a chance Gopher might not be home and he didn't want to take the chance that their father was. Maybe he should try Hopper and Tre's, but they probably had dates. Still, he should try them. He had to get out of there.

At the first ring, he hung up the phone remembering how they all had gone off to war. He felt his eyes sting and a boulder form in his throat. They left him! He slammed the receiver down harder then he meant to. But they left him! They left him all alone!

But he wasn't alone. He had Pony and the gang. He picked up the phone again and began to dial, but halfway through, he stopped, hitting the receiver to his forehead. They were going to be mad at him! He was so stupid! They were going to get pissed and…

Suddenly, his mind went to some distant memories. His father's iron grip, squeezing Ryan's tear stained face as he sharply turned Ryan's chin, shouting belligerently, "do you understand," for the third time and him being unable to give the proper response, partly because fear kept his mouth paralyzed and party because he didn't understand and even if he attempted to respond, talking would be difficult with the finger digging painfully into his face, and Gopher trying to pry their father's hand off Ryan, answering for him that Ryan did understand, even though he didn't, and their father shoving Gopher. Or walking down the store isles and having something catch his eye and draw him closer, only to have their father dig his nails into Ryan's skin as he had a death grip on Ryan's elbow and jerked him violently away, wrenching Ryan's arm.

Shaking his head to clear it of all the things he rather forget, he firmly told himself that was not Pony. Pony was not his father. Pony told him he loved him. Gopher would like Pony and, in any case, Ryan would have to come to take a chance. He didn't want to stay. He knew he shouldn't stay and he didn't trust himself to be lucid enough to walk home.

He finished dialing and instantly someone picked up. "Pony, I'm so sorry! I'm such an idiot! Can you pick me up?" His words slurred and he winced, expecting incessant rage and belligerent barrage of harangues and curses.

"Are you alright? What happened?" Ryan gave vague and cryptic answers.

"Where are you?" Pony asked calmly. Ryan had to think for a moment. He couldn't remember the exact address, but he could recall the street name. That was all the information Pony needed. "I'll be there as soon as I can."

Pony was just glad Ryan was safe and in one piece. It was a little difficult to say he was alright, given current circumstances. Getting a drunken phone call from the kid in his care worried him, to put it lightly. But he had to remain calm. Ryan called him, which was a test of trust and Pony did not want to break that trust. He wanted Ryan to call him if he needed and yelling at the poor kid because of the near heart attack, being scared shitless and being sick with worry over the fact his fifteen-year old kid was drunk was not only not going to help Ryan and scare him, but would make him think twice about calling in the future. All of which were things Pony did not want to see happen.

When he found the house the party was at, he did not need to frantically search for Ryan. The kid was sitting outside in the freezing cold, without his jacket, leaning against a metal fence. He was flushed and shaking, looking as miserable as he felt. Behind his blood shot eyes, there was fear.

Pony rushed to him, pulled him to his feet and hugged him to Ryan's surprise. "Ryan," he sighed in relief. He just needed to hold Ryan for a moment. Then he pulled back. He had to make sure his kid was alright. He checked him over twice. With a calm tone, even though he was feeling anything but calm, he asked him, "Are you alright?" Ryan, speechless and dumbfounded at Pony's soft, gentle, comforting manner, shook his head.

Pony took his jacket off and wrapped it around Ryan, putting an arm around his shoulders. Ryan flinched and Pony apologized for the startle, leading him to the truck.

Ryan's head laid in Pony's lap as he curled up underneath the jacket, still shivering. The truck's heat was cranked up all the way to try and warm the kid up. He whimpered and moaned, clutching the coat with his eyes closed. With one hand on the steering wheel, Pony stroked Ryan's hair, murmuring in soft, soothing tones, occasionally humming lullabies his mother use to sing to him and his brothers.

"Gopher," Ryan muttered.

"Sh. Sh." Pony soothed, glancing down at Ryan as he waited for the light to change. "You're okay, baby. You're alright."

"Don't go!" Ryan cried out. "Please, don't leave me, Gopher! I'll be good! I won't be trouble! Anything! I will do anything! Please, don't leave me!" That broke Pony's heart and tears streamed from Ryan's closed eyes.

"Baby, sh. Sh. It will be alright. It'll be okay, baby. Sh."And Pony began to hum another lullaby.


	33. Consequences

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders.**

**AN: I really appreciate the reviews! Thank you to all of you who have reviewed! I'm glad you are all enjoying that story thus far. Think of this as part two of the previous chapter, ****_Spiked_****. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

Ryan stumbled into the kitchen, his hair messier than usual, rubbing his blood shot eyes. Wincing at the splitting headache, he kept a hand on his forehead. It wasn't until he plopped down clumsily in the kitchen chair that he realized he had three pairs of eyes on him. There was a sinking feeling in his stomach and the hairs on the back of his neck stuck up. Suddenly, his original thought of sneaking out the window in his room seemed much better than whatever this might be. It took all his willpower to not run. And though he tried to convince himself that the thoughts were ridiculous, he still anticipated, with great dread and anxiety, them to either (a) turn into his father, or (b) tell him he was more trouble than he was worth and give him back to that loathed group home.

He could tell Darry was not happy. Just the look on his face was enough to cause Ryan to flinch and shrink back. Ryan only got a glimpse of Darry and he felt sick to his stomach. He immediately lowered his head and diverted his eyes, not daring to see the looks on Pony and Soda's faces. He tried to brace himself for whatever was about to come.

"Morning, Rye." Soda smiled at him, keeping his voice soft and low for Ryan's sake. That wasn't what he was expected. Yet, it also did not put him at ease.

None of them were thrilled Ryan had been drinking and the only thing they could understand was that, according to him, he did something stupid.

"I should say he did something stupid!" Darry roared when Pony explained the situation to them. "Getting drunk at fifteen! What was he thinking?" His rant gave Pony déjà vu of when he was thirteen and the first time he experimented with alcohol.

"We don't even know what happened!" Pony argued back. "And yelling at him ain't gonna do nothing but scare him! I'm his guardian! We do it my way." And what was his way? To keep their cool and talk to him.

"Here." Soda placed an Aspirin in front of Ryan, next to a glass of chocolate milk already waiting for him. "It should help the headache. How are you feeling?" Ryan shrugged. "I bet you ain't feeling too hot." Again, he was unresponsive.

Pony was trying to figure out how to do this. He took a chair beside Ryan, deciding on his words carefully. "Ryan, we want to talk about last night." Ryan tensed, holding his breath. His eyes squeezed shut and his face scrunched up in a painful expression. "Do you remember what happened last night?"

Some parts were fuzzy and that frightened him, too. "I-I-I got dr-drunk." His voice was hardly audible.

"Why?" Soda asked steadily. Knowing Ryan never meant to get in trouble, he thought understanding the reason was important. After all, it did not seem like something Ryan would do.

"I-I didn't know the punch was spiked." He explained the whole evening, finishing up by apologizing to them profusely.

Pony sighed. "It's me who owes you an apology." This surprised everyone. Ryan blanched and began to shake. "I should have prepared you for parties before I allowed you to attend one. I assumed Gopher would have taught you, but I guess not. A safety rule at parties is to not accept drinks or put your drink down. I'm sorry, Ryan."

Ryan released a quivering breath in disbelief, relieved that his assumptions were wrong. "I didn't think I couldn't trust Maureen."

Darry's face relaxed. It was still very serious, but the expression Ryan perceived to be anger dissipated. "You gotta be smarter when you go to parties. You're really lucky. A lot of worse things could've happened to you. There are a lot of disastrous and dangerous consequences to drinking."

"But you did call us, which was good." Soda added with a smile. "We're always here. We've got your back, don't forget that."

"You handled the situation well and got yourself out of there in a safe way," Pony agreed and complimented. "Just remember what we told you." Ryan nodded and they asked if he had any questions.

There was something. Not remember clearly certain parts of the night frightened him. He was terrified of what he might have said or done. "I would never drink." Ryan stole a glance at the three of them. He wasn't sure how to ask this. "It's scary and I don't mean just what might happen to me." They didn't understand what he was trying to say and he was having trouble trying to form it into words. "Drinking changes people and I don't remember everything I did or said when I was drunk." He didn't trust himself to begin with. "I didn't…I wasn't…"

Soda realized what he was trying to ask. "No, Rye, you weren't like your father. I told you already. You are not your old man and you never will be."

"And getting drunk does not make you like him," Pony tried to assure him.

Ryan gave him a confused look. "My old man didn't drink."

They gave him the same look Ryan gave Pony. "Then why were you afraid getting drunk would make you like him?"

"Because if I'm not careful, I could be like him." There was the look of sheer terror in his face. That thought scared him worse than the gang turning into his father or telling him he was more trouble than he worth and giving him up. "And you ain't careful when you're drunk."

* * *

Maureen was waiting for him by his locker, leaning against the metal, barring him from putting his stuff away or grabbing the books he needed. Once he saw her there, he decided he could just use his English notebook for math and turned back around to avoid her. But no such luck! She spotted him and ran to catch up with him. "Ryan! Ryan, stop! Ryan!" Putting a hand on his shoulder, she forced him to turn around. "Look, about last night…" Her painted lips curled upright. "I didn't mean what I said."

"Maybe you should think before you speak." He started to leave, but she turned him around again, roughly.

"And you always think before you speak? You always say what you mean? You've never said something you shouldn't have?" Ryan really just didn't want to talk to her. "I had a bit too much to drink. It was the alcohol talking."

"Maybe you should just not drink." Ryan argued.

She rolled her eyes. "Everybody drinks! Everybody but you, apparently. I mean, my god, are you really that square?"

"I'm not into girls who drink."

Her lips pursed. "You know , guys can drink and smoke and be loud and tough and curse and fuck and screw and cheat and they get patted on the back and congratulated. But if a girl does it, she's tied to the stake with a red A and condemned and called bitch and whore and slut or worse."

"And that double standard ain't right. It ain't fair." He agreed. "But that has nothing to do with us. You didn't tell me the punch was spiked!"

"I thought you knew!" She was getting annoyed.

"You're right. It's my fault. I shouldn't have accepted the drink and I know that now." He conceded that. "But I don't like you when you're drunk. And I'm not trying to be all high and mighty and pass judgment. But I can't do it. I can't hear things you don't mean and see you do things you don't mean. And you deserve to be with someone who appreciates you for more than your kissing and your legs. I'm sorry." The bell rang and he started toward class.

"Ryan!" He turned back around and she kissed him passionately for a long time before pulling away. "Just remember what it is you are giving up." She turned on her heel and marched off and Ryan watched her go.


	34. Tossing the Old Pigskin Around

**Disclaimer: S.E. Hinton owns The Outsiders. I just own the characters I made up.**

**AN: Thank you greatly for the reviews! They are very kind and make my day! I'm glad my writing is so enjoyed! :D This is for the reviewer who wanted father/son getting over break up fluff. I don't know how fluffy this is, but it does have Ryan and Pony. Man, Ryan really does have the worst luck with girls. As for his brother, you will have to continue reading to find out about Gopher. :D Story onward...Enjoy!**

* * *

The kitchen table was covered in mountains of books and folders. A rainbow river of highlighters and pens cut through a valley of papers. In the middle of this mess was Ponyboy, hunched over his work with pencils tucked behind his ears. His eyes skimmed the many papers and books, crossing things out, highlighting, underlining, and scribbling notes. The boss was on his case again and it didn't help that the school called twice that week. An article was due by the morning and he spent most of his time that week trying to finish it. Unfortunately, this meant going into work early, coming home late and not spending nearly as much time with Ryan as he would have liked.

As his mind kept going back to Ryan, Pony was finding it that much more difficult to focus on his work. He was lost in thought when Ryan tiptoed in; holding something behind his back. "Pony?" Ryan's voice was small, but eager and hopeful.

Snapping him out of his head, Pony looked up to find the fifteen-year old shifting feet uneasily and nervously biting his lip. "Yeah, Ryan." Pony offered him a smile.

"Um… I know you're really busy and everything, but I was wondering… uh… if we could… if you had time to… if it was possible to… toss the football around?" His wide eyes were imploring.

Pony really had to finish this article. "Ryan, I'm sorry. Maybe we can later. Why don't you ask Darry? I'm sure he'd do it now."

Ryan's face fell. "Yeah, okay." The disappointment in his voice was easy to hear as he turned away sadly, keeping the object in his hands hidden.

Ponyboy looked back at his work. He had to get it done. But Ryan wanted to spend time with him and actually asked to do something! That was huge, a big deal! Ryan actually took a chance and requested something, voiced what he wanted! That was a step forward, real progress… and Pony just shot him down. "Wait, Ryan." Ryan turned back around. Pony tossed the pencils from behind his ear to the table, pushed his chair back and walked over to Ryan. "The article can wait."

A bright smile exploded across Ryan's face. "You sure?"

Pony nodded, stealing the football Ryan hid in his hands. "You're more important."

They ran to the front yard and began throwing the ball back and forth. "I broke up with Maureen," Ryan told him.

Pony was a bit surprised, but he was very relieved. He didn't trust that girl. "How are you doing?"

Ryan shrugged. "I don't know. I feel kind of bad, though."

"Why's that?"

"I wasn't like it was with Julie, you know. I think I only went out with Maureen because she was good looking and a good kisser. And that ain't fair to her." He held onto the football a moment in thought before sending it sailing back. "I think I'm still in love with Julie. She was something special. It ain't fair to go out with someone when you're still in love with somebody else."

"It happens," Pony assured him. "We all do it."

Ryan nodded. "But it didn't make me feel too hot when she said those things, either, or when she went off dancing with some other guy."

"I'm glad you're done with her," Pony admitted. "I didn't like her very much."

Ryan frowned. "I wish you would have told me what you thought before I went out with her."

"Would it have mattered?" Pony questioned, but the answer was not what he expected.

Ryan looked him in the eye and spoke earnestly. "I respect and value your opinions, Pony."

"PONYBOY MICHAEL CURTIS!" Darry hollered from inside.

Pony threw an arm around Ryan's shoulders. "Sounds like dinner is ready and I have a table to clean up."

As they headed inside, Ryan asked, "What do I do about Julie?"

Pony wished he could be more help, that he could erase the pain of heartbreak. "The only thing I can tell you is to give it time. A love like that takes a while to get over. Give it time."


	35. Mail Call

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders. That brilliant literary work belongs to S.E. Hinton.**

**AN: Once again, thank you so much for your reviews! I appreciate them. Also, I just realized up to this point I have not thanked all the silent readers. I want to thank them and let you know I appreciate everyone who takes time out of their day to read my story! :D As for Ryan coming out of his shell, give it time. Let's find out how Ryan really feels...**

* * *

Sodapop came home from work, and like every day, he asked for the mail. Ryan pointed in disgust to the envelopes strewn and scattered around the living room with a grimace and darkened eyes.

Scooping up the various pieces of mail and skimming through it, Soda grabbed a seat beside the kid on the couch. "I take it you still haven't heard from Gopher." Ryan just shook his head. "Maybe tomorrow." Ryan wasn't so sure.

Thousands of what-ifs flew through his head. But there was one what-if he wouldn't allow himself to consider. "I'm barely holding on," Ryan whispered, hugging his knees.

There was simultaneous sadness that sometimes was exhibited and some anger and hurt, which Ryan rarely revealed. To Ryan, while sadness felt like weakness and vulnerability (like crying), anger was unacceptable. And in those few seconds, Soda saw the inner struggle. "It's okay to be sad, Rye. And it's okay to be mad."

Ryan shook his head. "No. It's not, Soda."

"Sure it is."

Ryan sighed. "Gopher did a lot for me. He protected me, even when he went off to fight. He loves me. He promised me he'd get guardianship when he gets back and that we'd go to Hollywood. And Gopher always keeps his word. He's the kind of guy that if he promises it, then he really means it. He's a good guy, the best brother and friend anyone could ask for. I ain't got no right to be mad."

"You got a right to your feelings," Soda told him. "You feel what you feel and there's nothing wrong with that. Hell, if I was in your shoes, I'd be mad and sad, too." He ruffled Ryan's hair. "Hey, I've got an idea! Let's go for a drive." He fished in his pocket and tossed him the keys. "You drive. It'll help clear your head."


	36. Eye of the Beholder

**Disclaimer: The Outsiders are not mine.**

**AN: Thank you for all you readers and the very quick review. Chick1966, I appreciate your suggestion. I'm going to get to Gopher soon, but until then you will just have to wait. :D Before starting off this chapter, I just want to say, Superman to the rescue... there in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's Darry. And the gang is not far behind! :D Enjoy!**

* * *

"Do you have any paper?" Ryan asked from the doorway as he watched Darry study for an upcoming exam.

Very distracted, Darry's eyes never left his paper. "I can tear you some from my notebook."

"Any drawing paper?" Ryan clarified.

This caught Darry's attention. Frowning, he looked up to find Ryan hiding his face. "What happened to your sketchbook?" Ryan shrugged and Darry was growing suspicious. "Come here, Ryan." But Ryan hesitated. Getting up from his seat, Darry walked over to him and lifted his chin. Right below his eye was a huge, swollen, purple bruise. "Jesus, Ryan! Where did you get that?"

He pulled Ryan to a seat and immediately retrieved some ice for him. Again the kid shrugged. "It's nothing."

That answer was not going to sit well with Darry. He gave the fifteen year old a stern look. "It doesn't look like nothing." When Ryan gave no further explanation, Darry reverted to the use of his full name. "Orion Simon Albright, you will tell me where your sketchbook is and how you got that black eye."

In defeat, Ryan surrendered one word. "Socs."

Darry's eyes narrowed. "Who?" He demanded names. The problem was, Ryan didn't know any names and even if he did, he wasn't about to tell. He was no snitch. Darry dug in his pocket for the keys. "Come on." He headed out to the truck with a fearful Ryan on his heels.

"Where are we going?" Ryan nervously stared out the window as they drove into the West side of town.

"You're going to point out who did this." Darry took him to some popular Soc hangouts.

Ryan paled and shook his head, refusing. "Really, Darry, it's fine."

Parking the truck, Darry gave him two options. Either Ryan pointed the guys out or he would stop every Soc on the street. Seeing no way out of it, and knowing Darry would catch any of his lies, he reluctantly acquiesced. By the second hangout, Ryan spotted them. "Him." He pointed to what appeared to be the leader of a small group.

Darry slammed the door of the truck as he accosted them. "Who the fuck do you think you are?" The Soc haughtily spat.

Grabbing the boy by the collar, he slammed him against a wall and flexed his muscles. "Your worst nightmare!" The rest of the group backed away in fear. "Give me the sketchbook you stole from Ryan!" The conceited and stubbornness completely washed away. "Unless you want your face to look ten times worse than what you did to Ryan!" He formed a fist, threateningly.

The Soc began to quiver and quake. "Yeah, man. Sure. Whatever you want." He looked over to his small group expectantly. When no one moved, he ordered frantically, "Give him the damn sketchbook!"

Someone from the group handed it over to Darry. "Did you do anything to it?" They swore they didn't, that they didn't get the chance to yet. With that he dropped the Soc roughly to the ground with a threatening glare. "Leave Ryan alone." He stormed back to the truck, tossed the sketchbook to Ryan and headed toward home.

When the rest of the gang were filled in on what occurred, they all agreed they were fed up with the bullying. Though Darry seemed to offer a momentary solution, there was still the issue of the locker. They conspired and hatched a plan.

The end of the day bell rang and Ryan was surprised to hear four very familiar voices coming from the direction of his locker. Curious, he snuck closer to find no other than Two-bit, Steve, Soda, and Pony. "What are you doing here?" Needless to say he was very surprised, but also a bit embarrassed at all of them seeing the insulting remarks and drawings.

"We're here to fix your locker." Two-bit informed him.

Ryan's eyebrows furrowed. "Funny. I didn't even know it was broken."

Steve smirked. "That's not what he means, kid."

"Close your eyes!" Soda excitedly covered Ryan's eyes and the gang stepped out of the way. He lifted his hand to show the locker, no longer covered with the offensive graffiti, but instead with colorful, cool pictures, such as cars. "What do you think?"

A grin crept across his face as he stared in disbelief. "Tuff! But how…"

Pony held up a collection of markers and paint. "You're not the only one who can draw." He hooked an arm around Ryan's neck and ruffled his hair. "Let's blow this joint."

* * *

**AN: But it's never that easy or simple, is it?**


	37. Who?

**Disclaimer: The Outsiders belong to the genius S.E. Hinton.**

**AN: I got this idea from two different suggestions by Crystalteen. Crystalteen suggested Ryan sets Pony up on a date and there being a double date and unfortunately, I could not do that suggestion, but it did give me the idea for this. Also, the much awaited Ryan's revenge is seen here. Here you go LilySpice244 who couldn't wait for Ryan's revenge and Crystalteen who suggested it. Also, just a warning, there is a lot of laughing in this chapter, sort of like someone dropped a whole bunch of nitrous oxide (laughing gas) in the Curtis livingroom. Enjoy!**

* * *

Steve greased and combed his hair for the fifteenth time as he waited impatiently for Soda. "We're going to be late!"

Two-bit cracked jokes at their expense, keeping Ryan laughing hysterically and Pony snickering. Steve finally had enough and tackled Two-bit to the ground. "Careful," Two-bit warned, grinning. "You're going to mess up your hair!" He ruffled Steve's hair.

"I'll mess up your face, Two-bit!" Steve and Two-bit continued to wrestle much to the amusement of Ryan and Pony.

Soda came hopping into the room as he slipped on his shoe and shrugged on his shirt, causing Pony and Ryan to laugh that much harder. "Have you seen my…" Ryan pulled out the missing shoe from underneath the couch. "Thanks, Rye." He slipped on the other shoe, flashing his famous smile.

Steve let Two-bit go and once more began fixing his hair, starting Two-bit on a new string of jokes. As Ryan watched them, he began to realize everyone in the gang went on dates, even Darry, but not Pony. He started to wonder. "How come you never go on dates, Pony?"

Steve answered. "He's married to his work."

"What about that blonde receptionist at the paper?" Soda asked. "She's caught your eye more than once. What's her name? Emily Wayworth?"

Pony's ears turned red. "You mean Eliza Hayworth and she's the secretary."

"So, why don't you ask her out?" Ryan pressed.

Pony shrugged. "It's not like that. She just got over a messy break up. And she has green eyes."

Ryan rolled his eyes. "So?"

"So, it's none of your business, little man." Pony returned to his book. "Drop it, kiddo." But Ryan didn't think it was fair that Pony worked so hard and took care of him and never seemed to have any time for himself. He felt guilty, thinking Pony deserved to at least go out on a date.

"_Come one, Steve_," Soda tapped his foot in mock impatience. "_We're going to be late_!" He dodged Steve's playful swing and raced to the car.

An idea popped into Ryan's head and a cunning, sly smile spread across his face. Two-bit gave him a questioning look, but all of this seemed to escape Pony's notice.

The next day, the gang was gathered in the living room, sniggering and snickering, holding their stomachs as they rolled with laughter. Pony entered from the hall, staring curiously between Ryan who was on the phone, clearly trying to woo someone and laying it on thick, and the hysterics of Two-bit, Steve, Soda, and Darry. "Who's he talking to?" The corners of his mouth twitched.

Wiping tears from his eyes, Darry said between chuckles, "That blonde secretary from your work."

The look on Pony's face was priceless and sent them laughing even harder. His ears turned bright red and his eyes flashed dangerously. "Why didn't you stop him?" Pony hollered.

"And miss the show?" Two-bit cocked an eyebrow.

There was a fire in his eyes. He stomped into the kitchen, tore the phone from Ryan's hand, muttering 'Sorry, wrong number' and slamming the receiver down. "I told you to drop it!" Pony turned quickly.

Ryan cringed, involuntarily taking a step back. His eyes grew wide and fearful as he trembled. "Don't be mad, Pony." Soda defended. "Rye was just trying to help." Pony's face softened as he studied the cowering fifteen year old.

"S-sorry, P-pony." Ryan lowered his head.

Ponyboy maintained a stern look. "Still, you must pay."

Ryan took another step back. "P-pay?" He gulped.

"Come on, Pony, don't you think…" Soda once again began defending, but caught Pony's wink. Grinning evilly, Soda and Darry got up from their seats. "You're right, Pony."

"He should learn his lesson." Darry agreed as they snuck up behind him. Out of nowhere, and much to Ryan's surprise, the three of them mercilessly tickled him. He howled in laughter, unable to squirm free.

When the initial shock wore off, Ryan reached up his arm and began tickling them back. They gasped, not expecting Ryan to fight back or turn the tables to them. Through the thunderous roars of laughter emanating from the four tickling each other and the two watching, very much amused, came a knock on the door. Everyone froze and exchanged the same curious look. Who could that be?

* * *

**AN: Bwahahahahaha! I'm so evil! XD**


	38. The Return of a Soldier

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders.**

**AN: Thank you all you readers and all you who have reviewed! :D So who was at the door? Let's find out... though, I will warn you. As the writer I'm not too happy with this chapter. It feels kind of forced to me. I might rewrite it... maybe... I don't like this chapter too much, but I'm posting it to get on with the story. Enjoy!**

* * *

Darry opened the door to find a young man, tall and lean in stature. Though this was someone he didn't know, there was something familiar about his face. "Is this the Curtis residence?" Ryan's eyes widened in recognition of the voice.

"Yes. How can we help?" The rest of the gang peered over Darry's shoulder at the stranger.

The man held out his hand. "My name's Trenton Farley and I'm…"

"Tre!" Ryan cried as he flew out the door and tackled the man off the porch, squeezing the daylights out of him. "Tre! It's you! It's really you! You're home!"

A smile exploded across Tre's face as he wrapped an arm around Ryan, laughing. "Yeah, kiddo. I'm back!" He looked Ryan over. "My god! It's a miracle!" He exclaimed, playfully elbowing Ryan. "His hair is combed, he's looking people in the eyes, and every other word out of his mouth isn't an apology!" He looked over to the gang, who were staring at the two of them confused and curious. "You all truly are miracle workers!"

Ryan beamed as he led Tre back to the gang. "Let me try this again. I'm Trenton Farley. Tre. A friend of Ryan's brother." He shook Darry's hand and was introduced to the gang.

"We've heard a lot about you." Pony greeted as they welcomed him into their home.

Tre nodded, examining the house carefully. "Ryan wrote a lot about you all as well." He turned back to Ryan, who was bouncing in utter joy and excitement.

"Want to see my room?" Ryan took his hand, before any response could be given and threw open his bedroom door. Tre let out a low, impressed whistle as he glanced around. "You've got a nice place here."

"It's great!" Ryan agreed, flopping onto his bed as Tre inspected the place.

He stopped at one of the drawing hanging on the wall. It was one of him, Hopper, and Gopher. "Can I keep this one?"

"Yeah. It's yours." He watched as Tre carefully took it down, folded it, and slipped it into his pocket. "Speaking of Hopper and Gopher, where are they? They were in the same squadron as you. They're back too, right? Where are they? Why didn't they come?"

"I'll tell you later."

Ryan frowned, jumping off the bed and stood in Tre's way. "Why won't you tell me now?" There was fear on the edge of his voice.

Tre gave him a steady, patient look. "I'm following your brother's wishes. I'm doing what he asked me." Ryan would do anything Gopher asked. His persistence ceased for the time being.

In the living room, the gang began to wonder and speculate about Tre and the reason he came. Was this just a visit? Was he planning on taking Ryan? What would happen then? Where was Gopher and why didn't he come? Was Ryan prepared for whatever this was? Were they? Questions flooded their minds. Just then, Tre and Ryan returned to the living room.

For the rest of the evening, everyone got to know each other a bit better. Tre told the gang stories about Ryan and vice versa, and Ryan animatedly talked about everyone. As everyone swapped stories and information, Ryan was slowly losing a battle with sleep. It got to the point where he could hardly keep his eyes open, and this escaped nobody's notice.

"I think it's time to call it a night." Pony decided and everyone agreed.

Ryan shook his head. "I haven't heard about Gopher yet."

"Tomorrow." Tre promised.

"You'll be here when I wake up?"

Tre gave him a funny look. "Of course. Where else would I be?" Ryan didn't answer as he headed into his room.

Once Ryan was gone, Tre turned back to the gang. "How long are you staying?" Darry asked.

"I'm leaving tomorrow."

Pony looked in the direction of Ryan's room. "Does he know that?"

Tre shook his head and suddenly, they all became worried. It was not too long ago Ryan admitted to Soda that he was barely holding on. However, they also wanted to keep Ryan.

"You can take the couch." Soda told him.

The next morning, Tre took Ryan aside. "Gopher wanted me to make sure you were in a good place with good people who care about you…"

Ryan was growing impatient. There was one thought that kept haunting him, but he wouldn't allow himself to go there. He refused to even consider it. "Tre, you're scaring me. Where is my brother?"

"Here." He pulled out an envelope from his pocket and handed it over to Ryan. It was in Gopher's handwriting.

* * *

**AN: Was it who you thought it was? I left off with another cliff hanger! :D Bwahahahahaha! I'm evil!**


	39. The Letter

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders. I own the characters I created.**

**AN: Once more thank you for the reviews! :D I appreciate them all. Also, I just want to say the point of the story is not a choice Ryan needs to make. Enjoy!**

* * *

_If you're reading this…_

No, no, no! Gopher could not be dead! He was supposed to come home! He was supposed to get guardianship and they were supposed to hit it big in Hollywood with Gopher and Lion Productions! He promised! Gopher said he'd come back! He said the war couldn't last forever! He said they'd take the world by storm, the two of them! He said he'd protect him! He said he'd never leave him! He promised to come back alive! His face darkened dangerously as he reread the first line, thinking he read it wrong, yet finding it impossible to go on. "This ain't funny."

Tre gave him a sympathetic look. "I ain't laughing."

Something snapped in Ryan. His face hardened as he felt his breath catch. Tears flooded his eyes. "No," he whispered shaking his head firmly. "No, no, NO!" Trembling, the paper slipped from his hands and his fists clenched.

Hearing his cry, the gang raced in. Instantly, Pony pulled Ryan into a tight embrace. For a second, Ryan broke down in his arms. But then he pushed Pony away. "Get away!" He snarled and ran to his room, slamming the door shut.

"I hate him!" Ryan cried, tearing down all his drawings from his walls, ripping them to pieces, crumbling them up and throwing them everywhere. Big, fat, hot tears streamed his face as he ravaged his room. "I hate whoever killed him! I hate his whole squadron for not saving him! I hate the government for sending him! I hate that they took him from me! And I hate him! I hate him, I hate him, I hate him!" A sharp, painful realization broke him out of his blind rage and grief, if only for a moment because it threatened to swallow him whole once more.

Back in the living room, everyone was frozen in shock by Ryan's outburst. Soda knelt to the ground and scooped up Gopher's letter. His eyes fell to the first four words after _Dear Ryan-the-Lion_. He glanced up at the rest of the gang. "We've got a problem." He handed it over to Pony.

All he had to read were those four words. "Oh goddamn it." Their hearts broke for Ryan.

"No! Oh, hell, no!" Ryan came flying back into the living room, directly to Tre. "There is no fucking way in hell you are leaving me again, you goddamn bastard!" He roared, nose to nose with his brother's buddy. "Not again!"

Sadly shaking his head, Tre gave him an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, Ryan…"

"You're sorry?" Ryan roared, cutting him off, his voice cracking as he choked on sobs. "The boy's home my brother sends me is hell on earth! I spent how long worried and scared to death about Gopher and you and Hopper, making myself sick! I haven't had a good night's sleep since they shipped you all off to boot camp! I felt like I was going insane! I spend months walking on eggshells in some stranger's home, afraid one wrong move would send me back to that damn hell of a group home or earn me a beating like my old man used to! I was terrified and alone and Gopher wasn't there! He didn't even fucking write! I am scared and alone and all I want is Gopher and I can't have him! And you tell me sorry?" He spat viciously, through hiccups and sniffles and tears. "You tell me my brother is dead and you're planning on abandoning me and you tell me sorry?"

"Lion," Tre used Gopher's pet name for him, trying to calm him down. "You got a good deal here. You need to stay put. Gopher would want that."

"That's bull! Take me with you!" He weepingly demanded. "That's what Gopher would want! You owe it to him! You owe it to me!" He snatched Tre's arm, but Tre pulled back.

Tre opened the door, stepping backwards outside to the porch. "I can barely take care of myself. I have no job. Hopper's in an institution and I'm just surprised I'm not. I'm messed up, man. I can't take care of you. But they can," he pointed to the gang. "They love you to pieces. I'm sorry." He turned to leave.

In a last ditch effort, Ryan flung himself at him, wrapping his arms around Tre's middle and digging in his heels. "No! I won't let you!" He blubbered. But it was a losing battle and Tre broke his hold, hurrying off with another apology. Ryan, grief-stricken, heartbroken, devastated, collapsed to his knees, burying his face in his hands, lamenting Gopher's name in heart wrenching despair.

* * *

**AN: This story is far from over! :D**


	40. Three Words

**Disclaimer: The Outsiders is not mine.**

**AN: I know this is a really short chapter. Sorry about that. Anyway, enjoy!**

* * *

Pony tried to comfort him. He wrapped an arm around Ryan, murmuring soothingly. But Ryan was inconsolable at this point, unable to calm down. "Leave me!" He pathetically begged.

Pony shook his head. "I made a promise to you that I would never leave you and I'm not about to break it. I've got you, baby, and I won't let you go."

Ryan lifted his tear-stained face, flashing a dangerous look at Pony. "You wanted this to happen!" He accused, darkness dripping from his tongue. "You wanted Gopher to die!"

"No, Rye." Soda pleaded. "Come on. You know that ain't true."

"Shut up!" He screamed. "Just shut up!" He turned to Pony. "I hate you!"

Those three words stung, shocking everyone into silence. "You don't mean that," Soda whispered.

"Yes, I do! I mean every word! I'd rather go back to the group home or my father than continue living here with you! I hate you!" With that, he shoved Pony away once more and dashed to his room, slamming the door and burying his face into the pillows on his bed as he cried.

Soda threw an arm around Pony's shoulders. His little brother was close to tears. "He doesn't mean it, Pone." The rest of the gang tried to assure and convince Pony, but Ryan said he meant every word.


	41. Rrrrring

**Disclaimer: The Outsiders were created by S.E. Hinton and I am not her. Ergo (fun word), I do not own it. **

**AN: Wow! Such kind reviews and compliments! I'm blushing! Thank you for all the nice words and your reactions to the recent events. You all rock! :D Also thank you to all you silent readers out there (You all rock, too)! I appreciate that you all are taking precious time out of your day to read my story! :D Now onward we proceed...Enjoy!**

* * *

Ryan was constantly snapping and blowing up at the gang. About the only time he would allow anyone to get close to him and comfort him was when he woke up from nightmares, screaming Gopher's name. Pony would hold him and Ryan would cry, burying his face into his shoulder. On top of everything else, the two of them were running on hardly any sleep at all. Dark bags formed under Ryan's now blazing and suddenly cold eyes.

He, also, seemed to get into more and more trouble at school. A single day didn't go by without at least one phone call from the principal or a teacher. It got to the point where Pony would cringe and dread the sound of the rings. And this day was no exception.

Pony sat in his office, grimacing at the bitter taste of the coffee. He wondered how Darry could stand the stuff and why emptying two full containers of sugar into the mug didn't help that awful taste. Shaking his head, he realized his mind was wandering. It was becoming increasingly difficult to focus on his work. If his mind wasn't drowsily pondering more random thoughts than usual, he was worrying and thinking about Ryan. He glanced up at the picture Ryan drew him when he went to the book signing…

His thoughts were interrupted by the loud ring of the phone. Startled, he leapt out of his skin, knocking over the terrible coffee. "Shit!" He quickly tried to rescue his papers from the brown liquid, before picking up the receiver, anxious about another conversation with Ryan's toad of a principal. He snickered at the thought of how accurate Ryan's portrait of the principal was. "I'll be right there." He gathered up the papers, grabbed his coat and headed out.

"You look like shit, Curtis!" His boss followed him to the truck.

"Feel like it, too." Pony admitted, lighting a cigarette.

"The kid keeping you up still?" His boss was about to impart some parenting advice and Pony had to bite down hard on his tongue to stop any smart-ass comebacks. "Bit old to be having nightmare, isn't he? How old is he? Fifteen? You know what you should do? You ought to…"

"I really have to go!" Pony cut him off more sharply than he intended.

His boss huffed. "Just get me that article by the end of today. I'm not kidding, Curtis." Pony took off, hearing the chubby newspaper editor call after him, "I mean it, Curtis! My desk, no later than five!"

As he glanced at his watch, he let out a groan. He had five hours. That was not nearly enough time when he considered how long the meeting might last and trying to get Ryan to talk.

Once he arrived, he flicked his kool away, entering the principal's office in aggravation. These calls were getting on his nerve, which were already wearing thin from fatigue.

Ryan was sitting outside the office with his new attitude of apathy very apparent. For curious eyes that dared to stare at him, he supplied them with an icy glare. When Pony approached, he quickly diverted his eyes and looked away, but not before Pony caught some of the bruises and cuts.

Infuriated, Pony stormed to the principal, without being invited into the office and slammed the palms of his hands against the desks. "This is outrageous! You call me down here because you are giving Ryan a hard time for getting beaten up by some kids! He just lost his brother! This is the last thing he needs!" Pony went on ranting, assuming like every other time that the school was to blame.

"Mr. Curtis!" The principal, just as irate, interrupted. "It was the other way around."

This caught Pony off guard. "What?"

"Orion…"

"Ryan," Pony corrected automatically.

"…beat up three students at lunch. Now, I am fully aware of Mr. Albright's recent loss, but I cannot condone nor permit this type of behavior."

"Of course you can't," Pony muttered under his breath, "especially from a student from the East side." He couldn't help but think of all the crap the Socs have done to Ryan and gotten away with.

"We have all been understanding and supportive…"

"_I'm sure_," Pony drawled, rolling his eyes.

"But he broke one of the student's noses, one is in need of stitches and the other has a sprained wrist, just to name off only a few of the more serious injuries." Ponyboy was impressed. Not only did Ryan singlehandedly take on three Socs, but they, by the sounds of it, looked worse than him. So Ryan _could_ fight and apparently he could handle himself well. Noting the proud gleam in Pony's eye, the principal's narrowed sternly. "This will not be tolerated. And seeing how he spends more time in this office than he does in any of his classes, I have no choice but to suspend him. He will have three days to ponder his actions."

Pony had to get out of there before he really lost his temper. He nudged Ryan and led him to the truck. Despite the anger and hurt behind the fifteen year old's eyes, the kid's head was lowered as he followed.

In the truck, Pony reached for Ryan's chin, but Ryan flinched. "Sorry. I just want to see the damage." He turned Ryan's face. The bruises and cuts weren't too bad. Some ice, Band-Aids, and Neosporin should fix him up. Ryan moved away from Pony's hand and faced the window.

Sighing, Pony started toward home. "So, what happened?" Ryan remained unresponsive. "Come on," Pony pleaded. "Talk to me. Help me understand."

"What's it matter?" Ryan bitingly questioned. But Pony caught the despondent look in Ryan's reflection in the window. "What do you care?"

"It matters to me. I care."

Ryan considered this and scrutinized Pony for a moment. Mumbling, he explained about how these Socs came up to him saying they heard about his brother and how Gopher got what he deserved because he was a baby killer and stuff like that and Ryan lost it. He pounced on them making them eat their words and pay through the nose. As Ryan bitterly told him, Pony noted the crack in his voice and the wide, wet eyes.

Hurriedly, when the car parked outside the house, Ryan fumbled with the door handle to get away and disappear into his room. But Pony reached across him, pulled the passenger door shut and locked it. Suddenly, knees were very fascinating to Ryan and Pony studied the boy. "I know. I dig. I've lost people too, when I was your age. And it hurts. But this isn't you." He lifted Ryan's face. "And the Ryan we all know is still in there somewhere."

Ryan slowly turned away, unlocked his door and made his way inside. Pony followed, tiredly. After fixing up Ryan's wounds, he sent Ryan to bed. "Might as well catch up on sleep."

He hesitated in the doorway of the bathroom as he watched Pony put away the first aid kit. "What about you?"

"I'll be in the kitchen, working on my article." Pony yawned. "Let me know if you need anything."

About an hour later, Ryan stumbled into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes. Pony was fast asleep at the table, surrounded by his normal mess of papers and books. Taking the cigarette carefully from Pony's fingers, Ryan put it out and organized the mess. Quietly, he snatched a blanket from the living room and tucked it gently around Pony, before heading back to bed with a yawn.


	42. Fire

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders.**

**AN: Thank you to all my readers and reviewers! :D Something to keep in mind is, as Soda says in this chapter, "You cannot erase fifteen years in a few months." Just something to keep in mind about Ryan. Also, honey is actually really helpful for burns. Some people think butter helps, but the oil in butter is actually really bad for that type of wound. Honey is an excellent remedy for burns! That might seem like a very random fact, but it fits this chapter well! :D Enjoy!**

* * *

Things were getting worse. Ryan's nightmares were becoming more frequent and more terrifying, meaning him and Pony were getting even less sleep. No one could get Ryan to eat. They tried bribery and the promise of anything he wanted, even if it was candy or a bag of chips. But he wouldn't eat a thing. He spent all his time in his room when he wasn't in school, but the gang had no idea what he was doing in there. Though, Darry did threaten to remove his door if he slammed it one more time. The whole gang was worried.

"The thing is," Soda told his best buddy as he rubbed the sore ankle that Steve kicked for trying to sneak an ace out of his sock. "When you see him, you ain't sure if he wants to cry or scream. He acts angry and all, but he seems so sad."

Steve kicked Soda's ankle again, not falling for the whole rubbing-his-sore-ankle ploy. "The kid's got an attitude. He needs to get on with his life."

Soda frowned at his friend. "Rye's lost everything. When we lost my parents and Johnny and Dally, we still had each other. I ain't saying I like his tantrums and outbursts, and I especially don't like the way he talks to Pony. I mean, he's got a mouth that could make Dallas Winston and Tim Shepard blush. But I can understand how he feels."

"He ain't alone. He's got us. Don't he know that by now?" Steve did not share Soda's abilities to understand and sympathize.

Soda put down his cards carefully. "How would you feel if you lost everyone in your family and the remaining people you cared about abandoned you? His mother died, Steve. His father was a bastard who beat the crap out of him. His teachers, his principal, the people at the group home, every adult who was supposed to love, and care, and protect him didn't, and instead made him feel like shit. The only person in his whole world who he could trust, who protected, cared, and loved him, the only reason he hung on as long as he did, is dead. And to top it all off, his buddy refuses to take him in. That's fifteen years. You cannot erase fifteen years in a few months. Didn't you listen to what he said to Tre? He's been on guard ever since he got here. He doesn't believe that we won't give him up or hurt him, because that's all he's ever known. He doesn't get that we love him and we ain't going anywhere."

Steve thought about what Soda said. He tried to consider what might have happened if he didn't have the gang and what he might have done had he lost Soda. He'd probably end up like Dally. To think he had no one, to feel alone in the world…

"You smell that, Steve?" Soda pulled Steve out of his thoughts, worry written all over his face. "Is that…"

Smelling the air, Steve's eyes widened in alarm. "That's smoke!"

Both immediately jumped to their feet and ran to the source. A black haze poured out from under Ryan's door. Frantically, they tried to get in the room, only to find out it was locked. Steve kicked the door open and a cloud of black surrounded them. Coughing, they found Ryan standing before the dancing flames in the center of his room.

"Rye!" Soda pulled Ryan a safe distance from the small fire. His sketchpad dropped from his hands and he sucked on his pointer finger. Steve quickly put the fire out, leaving a smoking metal trashcan that was tipped over and a brand on the hard wood floor.

Something caught Steve's eye in the ashes. He picked up a used match, holding it up for Soda to see. "What the hell do you think you were doing?" Steve raged. "You could've set the house on fire! You could've gotten hurt! You could have killed yourself and us!"

Ryan shot him an icy glare. "Like I care!" His biting comeback was muffled by the finger still in his mouth.

"You did get hurt!" Soda's eyes widened as he carefully took Ryan's finger to examine it. Ryan tried to pull away, but Soda was not about to let a burn go unattended. "It ain't bad." He took the kid into the kitchen, where he ran the finger under cold water and applied some honey onto it.

"I ought to pound your head in!" Steve growled as he stalked into the kitchen behind them. "Of all the stupid…"

"You're one to talk!" Ryan snapped.

"Hey!" Soda warned, shooting a look at both his friend and the kid. He pointed to a chair. "Sit and start talking." This sudden change in Soda frightened Ryan. He never saw him so stern and serious before. But he stubbornly folded his arms and refused to talk.

Despite the fear, frustration, and worry blazing in Soda's eyes, he remained calm, trying to not lose his cool. "Fine, whatever. Don't want to sit? Then stand. Don't want to talk? Then listen and answer my questions! You scared us half to death! Playing with fire is dangerous! You could've been hurt worse than a tiny burn on your finger! You know better than to play with matches…"

"I wasn't playing!" Ryan defended sharply.

Soda raised an eyebrow. "Then what were you doing?" Ryan gave no response. "Answer my question!"

"Make me!" Ryan spat.

"I'll make you!" Steve threatened.

Ryan wheeled around and challenged him. "Go right ahead!" He opened his arms wide. "Be my fucking guest! How about you?" He turned back to Soda. "Go on, take a swing! Or maybe Darry or Pony would like to do the honors!"

"Stop." Soda begged. "Please, Rye. We ain't gonna hurt you." His voice and face softened and for a brief moment he saw a crack in the fifteen-year old's stone hard, cold façade. "Why were you trying to burn down your room?"

"I wasn't trying to burn down my room!" Ryan argued heatedly. "The trashcan wasn't supposed to fall over!"

"It doesn't matter _why_! What matters is he started a fire in his fucking room!"

Soda ignored his friend, keeping his eyes glued to Ryan. "And the trashcan was on fire because?"

"It doesn't matter." Ryan mumbled, looking away. He added under his breath, "None of it matters anymore."

"What?"

"Nothing." He whispered darkly, heading back to his room.

"Stop!" Soda demanded, stepping in his way. "You're hanging out here with us." He was not about to let the fifteen year old out of his sight after he set his room to flames!

Ryan scoffed. "You and what army?"

Steve folded his arms, smirking as he towered over the kid. "We don't need an army." The two of them pulled him into a chair between them.

Soda put out his hand and Ryan flinched. "The matches."

With a careless shrug, he handed them over. "Their yours anyway."

Feeling around in his pockets, Soda realized what Ryan just told him. "You've got some sticky fingers, Rye."

Ryan looked down, the darkness completely erased from his voice and face. "You…you all didn't get burned did you?" He swallowed like he was about to cry.

Sighing, Soda shook his head. "No, Rye. We didn't."

"Good, because it really hurts." He examined the smeared honey on his burn.


	43. It Does Matter

**Disclaimer: S.E. Hinton owns The Outsiders.**

**AN: Hey to all you readers out there! Thank you for viewing my story! :D Think of this as part two to the previous chapter. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

"Hey, you little pyromaniac." Ponyboy entered the room, with a quick knock on the door, and sat on the edge of Ryan's bed.

Ryan's eyes never left the floor. "I wish you wouldn't fight about me with Darry."

Pony went to pat Ryan's leg reassuringly, but Ryan moved out of the way. "And Soda and Steve wish you hadn't scared them half to death and Darry wishes you hadn't almost burned down the house."

"That's a bit of an exaggeration." Ryan rolled his eyes.

"If you roll your eyes anymore, you'll be dizzy." Pony flashed a smile that could contend with Soda.

But Ryan remained frowning. "Darry wants to send me back, doesn't he?"

Pony shook his head. "No, of course not. Why do you think that?"

Ryan shrugged. "He said I was trouble."

"He said," Pony clarified, "you were getting into trouble."

"Is there a difference?"

"Ryan." Pony made sure that he was coming across as earnest and sincere as they all felt. "We are _never_ going to send you back. What part of that don't you understand? If you don't get that by now, then clearly we are doing something wrong."

Ryan shook his head, eyes shut in a painful expression. "No," his voice cracked. "You're not doing anything wrong."

Scooting closer to the fifteen year old, Pony threw an arm around his shoulders. "What did you mean by 'none of it matters now'?"

For a brief moment, his eyes flickered surprised, before returning his frigid stare to the ground. "I didn't know they heard that."

Pony followed Ryan's line of vision. It wasn't the floor he was staring at, but his sketchbook. Finding it odd how close it was to the black burn mark, he picked it up. "Was this what you were trying to burn?"

"Just drop it!" Ryan torn the pad from Pony's grip and tossed it aside. "It doesn't matter! It's nothing!"

Pony picked it up again, brushing it off delicately, like it was a precious jewel. "It does matter. This is not nothing. Don't you dare say that. Don't you dare give up on your dreams! You have a gift, Ryan, and one day Gopher and Lion Productions…"

Ryan shook his head at this passionate declaration. "It was _our_ dream. You can't have Gopher and Lion Productions if there's no Gopher." He fought to keep the tears at bay.

"Just because Gopher's gone doesn't mean the dream is. Gopher wouldn't want that, would he?"

"But we were supposed to do it together. He wasn't supposed to go off to war! He wasn't supposed to die! He was supposed to be here with me! And I wasn't supposed to end up here, with _you_!" His last words were daggers aimed directly at Pony and he pushed him away, once more.

It stung. Pony got up and went to leave. "Just go to sleep, Ryan." Tired from lack of adequate sleep and a hard day at work, he was done for the night. And Ryan's actions hurt him.

Stopping in the doorway, he turned around, locking eyes with _his_ kid. "It does matter!" He told him firmly, stubborn determination and fervor flashing in his eyes. "And I'm not going to let you send your dreams up in flames! It is too important!" With that he brought the sketchpad with him, hit the light switch and bid goodnight.


	44. Reflections of an Old Hood

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders.**

**AN: Huzzah! More reviews! :D Thank you for all the reviews and all the views and the favorites and the follows! :D They make my day! My reviewers are so kind! And it's nice to hear what my readers think! :D I'm just glad some many people are enjoying it! Ryan hasn't been himself lately, and he really knows how to hit the gang where it hurts, but not to worry! :) Also, I want to thank ****roseofnoonvale**** who not only is a frequent reviewer, but gave me some helpful advice about not worrying about the length of the chapter, but rather how it is written! I am grateful for the reviews and the advice! It helped in writing this chapter! :)**

* * *

They were having yet another row. Ryan was throwing yet another tantrum. Darry was yelling, using his whole name and though Ryan cringed, began shaking, and took a step back, it only made the outburst that much worse. Soda tried to calm everything down, but to no avail. Pony wasn't entirely sure what it was about this time. Perhaps the skipping school. "Who cares?" Ryan angrily spouted. "It's not like _they_ do and if they are just going to send me home, what's the point of even going?" Maybe it was his colorful use of language, slamming the door, or the toads he painted on the principal's windshield.

Meanwhile, Pony just sat there, observing Ryan. There was something different about the fifteen year old recently and he couldn't quite put his finger on it. He had seen that look many times before on a different face, in a different time. And then it hit him.

All he could see was the elfish face with ears like a lynx, blazing icy eyes, and blonde hair of Dallas Winston. That comparison scared the hell out of Pony. Yet, the apathy, the anger, it all was there blaring like the police sirens that day all those years ago. If they didn't do something soon, Ryan was sure to share a similar fate. No! Pony refused! Standing up from his seat suddenly, he caught Ryan's arm. "I will not let you go down under street lights and turn mean and tough and hate the world because it's not too late for you and there's still good left in it. We have lost too many people. We will not lose you, too! I refuse to lose you, too!"

He marched into Ryan's room, snatching something off of the desk, putting it in his pocket and began hauling Ryan out the door. "Wh-where are we going?" Despite the clear indifference, bitterness, and irascibility, there was fear on the edge of his words.

"I'm keeping a promise to a friend." And Pony dragged Ryan across town.


	45. A Promise to a Friend

**Disclaimer: The Outsiders are not owned by me.**

**AN: The last chapter, for some reason, was very easy for me to write and I really liked the way it turned out. I've had parts of this chapter in my head for a while now, but I ended up rewriting it at least three times. Thank you for the reviews and views, favorites and follows, I appreciate them all! I also appreciate the wonderful encouragement given in many of the reviews! :D jenna I appreciate the suggestions, but unfortunately I wasn't able to fit them into this chapter. There will probably be more about the theme, Dally, and Johnny in upcoming chapters, I think...maybe, possibly... Some of you mentioned you thought you knew what was going to happen or you had some guesses. Was it what you thought? Were your predictions correct? Also, a very special thank you ****Pixie silver**** for the advice of taking as much time as I need. I can't tell you how much that helped me with writing this chapter! :D I am grateful! :D**

* * *

They entered the graveyard and Ryan unconsciously moved closer to Pony. He hated cemeteries. They always sent chills down his spine. There was just something about them that gave him the creeps and scared him. He almost reached for Pony's hand, but caught himself. "What are we doing here?" It was not where he thought he was going to be taken.

"I told you. I'm keeping a promise to a friend." Glancing over at Ryan, he noticed the frigthened look in the fifteen year old's eye. He didn't know anyone to be comfortable in a graveyard, but when it dawned on him that he never told him where they were going, he mentally kicked himself. The poor kid was probably worried he was going to be taken back to the group home. Pony grabbed Ryan's clammy hand and lead the way.

"In a graveyard?" The attitude from before seemed to dissapear as he feared the worst, afraid he crossed the line this time. He was greatly confused about their current location, but was sure this was a simple detour on the way to what he had no doubt was their final destination.

Pony nodded and pointed to a tree up ahead. "Just right up there. Then we'll head home" He tried to assure Ryan, but the kid wasn't buying it.

"Wh-" Ryan began again, but Pony pulled the fifteen year old down beside him. With their backs pressed to the rough bark of the tree truck, he indicated to the sky. Gold streaked the heavens. The cerulean melted away and the wisps of white clouds glowed pink and orange. Slowly, crawling down to the horizon, the sun made its descent as the moon rose.

For a moment, Ryan sat in awe, eyes wide, filled with wonder. A realization hit him and his eyes flickered to the headstone next to them. "Johnny," he breathed turning his eyes back to the sky not wanting to miss a second of it.

"There's still good in the world." Pony putting an arm around his shoulders. Ryan began to pull away, but Pony held on tighter. "It was too late for Dally, but it's not too late for you."

Ryan tried to push him away. "Let me go!" He tried twisting and thrashing, anything to break the hold. "Leave me alone!"

But Pony only tightened his embrace, whispering softly as Ryan fought and lashed out. "I told you before. I've got you, baby, and I won't let go. I made you a promise. I will not leave."

"How do I know?" Ryan cried, tears streaming down his face. "How do I know you won't turn on a dime, like my old man did all the time? How do I know you won't leave and abandon me like my mom, Gopher, Tre and Hopper? How do I know your promises aren't empty or will not fall through?" He threw his fists more fiercely with each word, lamenting and bawling. And Pony remained still, hugging the fifteen year old to him. "I've put my full faith in my mother, my father, my brother and his buddies, everyone in the group home, everyone at my school... How can I trust you and the gang?" His punches began to slow as he swallowed, sniffling and hiccuping and tears flooding his eyes. Exhaustion took over and he slumped in Pony's arms, burrying his face in his shoulder, weeping uncontrollably. "And now I've burned all my bridge with you all and you're going to send me back!"

"No, baby," Pony rocked him gently, trying to calm his fears. "I ain't sending you back. You ain't going back."

Ryan could not believe a word of it. Surely they hated him and considered him more trouble than he was worth! How could they not? How could Pony still hold him and comfort him? "B-but I told you I hated you! I almost burned down your house! Why wouldn't you?" He wiped his eyes, but the flood of tears would not cease.

"It's called unconditional love." Pony gave him a small smile. "You experienced it once before." He withdrew from his pocket the item he snatched off Ryan's desk and held the envelope out for the kid between two fingers. "How long have you spent staring at this?" It was Gopher's letter.

Ryan couldn't figure out how Pony knew he spent the time in his room, head in his hands, just staring at the folded paper, trying to find enough courage to read the damn thing. Before Ryan could question how, Pony gave him a sagely, mysterious look. "I can't get passed the first four words. It's just this is it, the last piece of him." Fingering the edges of it, he wasn't sure if that made sense.

"I dig. But it might do you some good to read it. It might offer you some clarity." Pony advised.

Ryan eyed him suspiciously. "You read it?"

Pony shook his head. "No, of course not. It's addressed to you. I'd only read it if you wanted to share it with me."

Still, Ryan hesitated, unable to continue passed _Dear Ryan-the-Lion, If you're reading this…_

"I'm right here." Pony encouraged with a small smile. Taking a deep breath, Ryan carefully unfolded the letter and began to read, finding comfort in Pony's arm wrapped around his shoulders, pulling him closer.


	46. Conversations Concerning Permanence

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders.**

**AN: Woohoo! Two more reviews! Once more thank you for the reviews and views! I'm glad you liked the Ryan and Pony moment in the last chapter! :D Sorry it took me so long to update. I don't think this is a very good chapter. It's not very eventful but I think it helps move the story along. I might rewrite it later, but for the time being... Enjoy!**

* * *

"You look like you're about to collapse," Soda observed Ponyboy as Ryan hurried passed, head hung. Pony merely gave him a tired turn of the lips and plopped down on the couch. "Everything okay with Rye?"

Resting his head in his hands, he nodded. "He's just real sorry and doesn't think he can face you two at the moment."

"Where is the kid?" Darry leaned on the door frame of the kitchen, wiping his hands with a dish cloth.

"In his room. I told him to get some sleep and that he can apologize to you all in the morning."

"You should follow your own advice."

"I can't, Darry." He still had an article to finish and Ryan probably would have another nightmare and need him. The look on Darry's face was a sure precursor to yet another lecture, which Pony really didn't need at the moment. Hoping to avoid it, he quickly changed the subject. "Ryan finally read the letter from Gopher. His brother's a real character."

"You read it?" Soda was surprised Ryan would share it. Lately, the kid kept to himself.

Pony shook his head. "He told me Gopher threatened to haunt his ass if he doesn't pursue his dream of Gopher and Lion productions. Oh, and he ended the letter as Porky the Pig." His brothers shook their heads and snickered in amusement. "I think it helped. At the very least, it got him smiling and drawing again." His brothers grinned at that.

"You think the letter fixed it?" Soda asked hopeful.

"Some of it." Soda and Darry frowned at that. "Part of it is that he doesn't trust us. He's afraid we'll abandon him."

"So...what if we made it permanent?" Soda offered. They all already considered him part of the family. "You know, adopt him." It would be one way to show they mean what they say and it would be one less thing the kid had to worry about.

Pony began chewing on his thumbnail as he thought, much to the dismay of his older brothers. Darry lowered Pony's hand from his mouth. "What's wrong, Pone?"

"What if he says no?" It was still fresh in Pony's mind: Ryan pushing him away, saying he hated him...

"He won't." Soda flashed him a reassuring, knowing smile.

"We can talk about this more later." Darry pointed an authoritative finger at Pony. "Go to bed."


	47. Apology Accepted

**Disclaimer: The Outsiders is not mine.**

**AN: Thank you for the quick review! I was a bit worried about the last chapter. :D I had this chapter written before the previous chapter! Here's another moment with Two-bit! The only thing is, much like truth or dare and insults, I suck at jokes, so I apologize that they are lacking and are not wet-your-pants hilarious. Also a fun side note that could be skipped is some heavy sleepers are really funny. For instance, a drill, hammering, and an electric saw could be running right outside the window or in the next room and some sleepers could sleep through it, but when someone opens the door carefully and quietly whispers their name they almost have a heart attack and leap out of their skin. Not that I would know *cough cough* Anyway, we shall proceed with the next chapter! :D Enjoy!**

* * *

The Curtis house was silent as Two-bit came traipsing through the door. Normally there was a ruckus, what with radios and television blasting and blaring and rough housing. The lack thereof indicated an empty house, but Two-bit let the slam of the door announce his presence. Turning on the television for entertainment and because the Curtis house just should not be that quiet, he sat back and put his feet up on the coffee table.

"You're early, Chuckles!" A voice came from the kitchen, practically giving Two-bit a heart attack.

Once his heart returned to a steady rhythm, Two-bit got up, headed for the kitchen and leaned on the door frame, arms folded as he watched Ryan stir something in a bowl. The kitchen was a complete mess. Dirty dishes filled the sink, wrappers and trash were randomly tossed around and a myriad of ingredients spilled or dripped. "Whatcha cooking, Chef Boy-Ar-Dee? Rat poison?" This was a reference to how Ryan had recently been acting.

"Can it, Two-bit!" Two-bit frowned. Lately, when he tried to joke around and make the kid feel better, Ryan would have none of it. Just as Two-bit was about to turn back to the living room a can of peas were hurled in his direction. A humorous grin spread across Ryan's face. "Can it!" Two-bit let out a laugh. "I can use the help."

Reaching for the can-opener, Two-bit got a better look at some of the food being prepared. There were mountains of mouth-watering dishes. "Glory, kid! whatcha plannin' on doing? Fattening us up?"

Ryan slid a casserole dish in the oven. "Sure, man. I was going to start with you, but uh..." Looking Two-bit over, he sniffed, making a face, "boy, do you smell ripe!" He chuckled to himself as he stirred a pot on the stove.

"Naw. That's your cooking." Two-bit picked up a bottle of green food coloring, shaking his head. "You'll make Sodapop proud."

Ryan glanced at the clock, cursing under his breath. "And I'll make Darry blow a gasket if this ain't cleaned up." He turned off the burner and began doing the dishes. "The rest of the gang will be here soon." In his rush to clean the place, he clumsily handled a knife and accidentally cut his hand on the blade. "Shit!" Immediately, he ran it under water and applied a band-aid for the superficial wound.

"Relax, kid." Two-bit told him, taking his own advice. "Darry ain't gonna be mad you cooked. Besides, dish duty is for the brothers that don't cook."

Scrubbing floors and counters, and picking up trash, Ryan sneezed. A cloud of flour surrounded him, falling to the areas he just cleaned. Once more, he cursed under his breath. "I know, but I don't want to make him or Soda or Pony mad. It has to be perfect."

Leaning his chair back, Two-bit cocked an eyebrow. "Why would they be mad if you made them dinner?"

Ryan focused on scooping food onto the plates, thinking the answer was obvious. "Because it's a mess and I probably made too much food and it's most likely crap anyway and..."

"What are you talking about? Everything looks great! You're the Picasso of mashed potatoes!"

Ryan chuckled lightly. "Thanks, Two-bit." He put on the finishing touches to each plate.

"I didn't even know you could cook." Two-bit eyed the plates heaping with food and reached out his hand.

Ryan batted him away. "Sure. I did it for my old man once." He frowned and slowed at washing the dishes. "Boy, was he pissed. Not only was the kitchen trashed, but I accidentally used food we couldn't spare and ruined it all, wasting all that food. He got me good for that one." He was lost in thought to the point where he didn't hear or notice Two-bit come up behind him, turn off the faucet and take the sponge from his hands. The concerned look on Two-bit's face brought him back from his daze. "More creamed than the corn." He attempted a smile, but it came out more as a pathetic twist of the lips.

"Not a big fan." Two-bit flashed a smile, scratching his chin. "Now that I think about it, Darry doesn't care much for them either." He led him to the livingroom. "Forget about cleaning. They ain't like that. They'll appreciate everything you've done, Sprout. Just relax."

Ryan yawned and stretched out on the couch, suddenly overcome with fatigue. "Yeah, sure. I've even got connections to the Jolly Green Giant." His eyes became heavy and he had trouble keeping them open. "Gopher went around for the rest of the week imitating him. Pissed our old man off to no end, but," a small smile played on his lips as he drifted off, "made me laugh."

Minutes later the gang noisily entered the house, slamming doors, shoving one another, and shouting. Ryan merely mumbled something unintelligible and flipped over, still asleep. It was then they all were able to take in the fifteen-year old. Chocolate and cheese stuck in his hair. Flour covered his nose and cheek. Food coloring and icing smeared on his face and stained his hands.

Knowing how tired he's been, they decided to let him sleep and tip-toed into the kitchen. They stopped in their tracks when they saw the already made up plates that awaited them. Multi-colored mac and cheese was sculpted into smiley faces. Rolls and slabs of chocolate cake accompanied the main course. And on the side were rainbow mashed potatoes with peas stuck in them spelling out the word 'sorry'. Equally impressive was the immaculate, sparkly clean state of the kitchen with the exception of a few dishes in the sink.

Two-bit was already chowing down, mouth full. "This is good." The rest were still in shock and their heads shot between the massive portions of their feast and the chef that cooked it. With growling stomachs, they dug in, grateful.

After the meal, Pony ran his fingers through Ryan's hair. He stirred slightly, eyes blinking half-opened to find the rest of the gang around him with appreciative grins. "Hey, kiddo. Thanks and apology accepted."

"'m glad you liked it." He slurred from being half asleep.

"It was great, Rye." "Fantastic, kid." "You're one helluva chef." The gang all agreed and thanked him, letting him know how much it meant.

Pony hauled him to his feet, and helped him into bed and tucked him in. "We're okay." He assured Ryan.

"'ou 'aveta know," Ryan was starting to nod off again. "I didn't mean any of it. 'm glad 'm 'ere wit 'ou. I like it 'ere. And I don't hate 'ou."

Pony smiled in relief, glad to hear it. "I know, baby. And thanks again." He kissed his kid's forehead and hit the light switch as he left.


	48. Illustrate A Point

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders.**

**AN: More reviews! Huzzah! And over a hundred reviews! And over 10,000 views! How cool is that! :) Thank you for all of them! I'm glad the apology was enjoyed! :D But as in the case of real life, a dinner does not fix everything. We are about to enter the troubled mind of Ryan... Oh, and as for the request for fluff, the characters seem to have other ideas for the time being, but don't worry, I'm sure there is more fluff in the future... Also I apologize if the descriptions of the drawings are bad or boring or lacking or whatever! I think this is the longest chapter I've written so far! :D Enjoy!**

* * *

After the elaborate apology, the tantrums and outbursts were at a minimum. The gang still worried, though. Most nights were sleepless and if by some miracle he did drift off, it was restless and infected by nightmares, where he would always cry out for Gopher. He wouldn't eat a thing. No matter how much they begged and pleaded and coaxed, he would just push the food away. To add to this already dangerous combination, Ryan was more tense and nervous than ever before. Once more, he was walking on eggshells. And in his attempt to be flawless, he ended up making more mistakes, causing him more stress and putting more pressure on himself to be perfect. It was a vicious cycle and resulted in him being quieter, clumsier, and absentminded.

Soda though it would be a good idea to get him out of the house and took him to the garage. His weary, droopy eyes lit up slightly and a small, tired smile crawled across his face. He missed working with cars and was eager to get his hands dirty, but Soda and Steve saw how stiffly he held himself and the worry behind his excitement. They thought the physical labor would be beneficial, loosen him up and help him out. As they saw him hesitate and struggle, though, they weren't sure.

About a hundred thoughts swirled around in Ryan's overly tired mind. In all honesty, he was surprised he was even standing. He felt close to collapsing. And his mind kept drifting from the task at hand. He thought about how he kept falling asleep in math. Nobody could blame him. Listening to that old bat rattle on monotonously could put anyone to sleep. Lo and behold the cure for insomnia!

He needed a wrench and sifted through the tool box. The tool box was red. The same red as Julie's glasses. He hated that color. It was an atrocious color that looked real good on her. Her words about soldiers replayed in his mind and he couldn't get them to shut up. They taunted him. And the way she looked at him when she found out about Gopher. Those apologetic eyes behind the red-rim glasses, silently standing by as her friends demonized and condemned his beloved brother, silently communicating all she would never dare verbalize because it went against everything she so vehemently believed. He hated red!

What tool did he need again? He glanced at the engine, forgetting what it was he was even planning on doing. Gritting his teeth, he was finding this incredibly annoying. "You okay, Rye?" Soda and Steve watched him closely from behind.

"Yeah, sure." Ryan muttered going over the engine for a second time to try and remember which tool he needed and for what. The Socs took advantage of his new clumsiness and absentmindedness. They also loved to drag Gopher into the daily conflicts. Homework was a killer, much like the engine. "Focus," he growled at himself. His head was starting to hurt.

Right, he needed a wrench. He wondered if his father knew Gopher was dead. Did he get a phone call or letters or did Tre stop by? Did his father even care? Did his father care about him or was he off thanking whatever powers that be that he didn't have two kids eating his food, taking up space, costing him money and breathing his air? Did he even miss them? Did he even love him? That one hurt and he sucked in air between clenched teeth as though suffering a blow to the chest. "Don't think about it." Ryan mumbled under his breath.

"You sure?" Steve called over.

"I'm fine!" He struggled to keep his tone in check. And then there was Pony and the gang. Their promises were nice and appeared sincere. But words were just words. He really wanted to believe everything they said. However, experience taught him otherwise. To get his hopes up were foolish. That chance, that doubt blared in the back of his mind, repeating insults ingrained in his psyche, rehashing old memories he'd rather forget. All of which made the promises appear invalid, dishonest. He wanted to believe them, but words were just words.

And damn this wrench! It was inadequate and worthless and stupid and refused to cooperate! In all the pent up frustration, he angrily threw the tool.

It wasn't until metal clattered to concrete that he even realized what he did. Slowly, he turned around with a horrified look on his face to find Soda and Steve flinching away from the wrench at their feet, staring at him in shock. Vaguely, he recounted being in a similar position with Gopher, staring at their father in the same way as a knife stuck out of the leaking milk carton that sat between them.

He sunk to the ground, his eyes pleading as he buried his head in his hands. He could've dented one of the cars and costed them business! He could've broken or damaged the wrench! And most importantly, the one thing he would've never been able to forgive himself for, he could've hit them! He wasn't crying, but he was awfully close. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to throw it!"

It took a few moments for the two of them to recover and pick their jaws up off the floor. To them, it was one minute he's saying he's fine and the next he's hurling a wrench at them with deadly accuracy. Soda marched over to Ryan, grabbed his elbow and took him upstairs to Steve's apartment. He sat the kid on the couch, telling Ryan he's done for the day and he's going to sit tight until they're off from work so he can calm down because what just happened is unacceptable. He went on to list everything Ryan already thought of, the tools, the cars, them.

"You're wrong," Ryan whispered. Soda wondered what the kid could possibly dispute. "I am exactly like my old man." His voice was haunted and he looked dismal, miserable, desperate. He couldn't stop the images of the knife and the wrench from flashing in his mind.

"No, Rye!" Soda shook his head, plopping down next to him on the couch. Tightly, he embraced the fifteen year old. But what did Soda know? He never saw the knife. And his mind went to how he acted after he found out about Gopher's death, the screaming, the cursing, slamming the doors and throwing things. He violently cringed at the comparison to his father, not realizing he shared it all out loud.

"Shut up and listen to me." Soda kept firmly denying such accusations. He blamed it on the lack of sleep, the lack of food, his stress and grief.

"That's no excuse," Ryan mumbled, unable to even look Soda in the eye. Soda opened his mouth to argue more, but Ryan cut him off. "You've got work. Steve needs you down there."

Patting the kid's knee with a heavy sigh, Soda headed back downstairs, calling over his shoulder that if he heard him say anything like that again, he'd skin him alive.

Steve was already fixing the engine Ryan was working on. It appeared to be giving him problems as well. "What the hell was that?"

Soda began working on another car, sliding under it. "Guess our plan didn't work."

"Guess not." Steve grumbled.

An hour later, Soda headed up to check on Ryan. The kid was stretched out on the couch, pencil in his hand and another tucked behind his ear, and his sketchbook on his stomach. He whimpered and moaned in his sleep, murmuring things under his breath that Soda couldn't make out. Soda tip-toed up to the kid quietly, removing the pencils as carefully as he could. Ryan turned on his side and his sketchbook fell.

Just as he crouched to pick it up, the drawing caught Soda's eye. The drawing was dark, done completely in black and white. There were two young boys of different ages at a table. Their mouths hung open in shock and yet both boys drew back in fear. Their eyes were wide, brimming with frightened tears. Between them was a milk carton, with a knife sticking out of it, and a dark, sharp hand from someone outside the picture that threw it. Ryan's words came back to Soda. At first, Soda didn't understand what Ryan meant about not seeing the knife, but now, as he looked over to the sleeping fifteen-year old, he was starting to understand the origin of the reference.

He flipped the page to yet another dark drawing. There was the younger boy from the previous drawing standing in front of a mirror. But the reflection was not his own. Instead it was a shadowy figure with hate-filled, narrowed, glaring eyes and the same dark, sharp hands. Again, he flipped the page, examining each drawing closely and becoming more and more concerned.

There were a couple drawings of a soldiers, sometimes hunting through thick vegetation, sometimes lying dead on the ground, one with the younger boy aiming a gun at the soldier, one with the the shadowy figure with sharp hands aiming the gun.

A few were of the gang dragging the young boy into a building resembling a prison.

He turned the page to find the young boy being held back by a group of other kids as they tore some envelopes to shreds. The young boy was clearly fighting back, tears in his eyes, reaching for the envelopes. One of the tormentors was nursing a bloody nose and the others holding the boy back weren't doing much better.

"They took the letters." Soda wheeled around to find Ryan sitting up, rubbing his eyes. "Right before you guys came to get me for that first time we met, a bunch of the other kids stole the few letters Gopher sent and destroyed them, laughing. They destroyed the only thing I had left of my brother." Ryan's fists clenched tightly. "And you wanna know why they did it? Because they could. So, in walk the people from the group home seeing me on top of another guy, just wailing on him. I could've killed him. And to put it lightly, they were none to happy with me. But I never told Gopher. I couldn't. I didn't want him to worry."

Soda sat next to him on the couch, still looking through the different drawings, some explaining more about the scars on Ryan's back. "Are these all memories?" He shuddered to think that this fifteen year old had gone through all this.

Ryan stared at the hole in the knee of his jeans, strands of loose hair covering his eyes as he tugged at the ends of his sleeves. "Some." His voice was almost inaudible. "Some are my nightmares. But it's hard to tell the difference." Soda went to flip the page. "Wait, don't..." But it was too late.

This one was a sharp contrast to the others Soda studied. It was bright and colorful. It was one of the whole gang, including Ryan. Pony hugged him. Soda ruffled his hair. Darry stood behind him protectively, hand on his shoulder, while Two-bit playfully jabbed him in the ribs and Steve used his other shoulder as an arm rest. Bright, hopeful, happy smiles took up all their faces. It was easy to see how close they all were, how easily they all went together, how much like a family it was. He turned to Ryan, surprised.

"And sometimes," Ryan admitted quietly. "They're what I wish."


	49. Point Made

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders.**

**AN: I'm glad the last chapter was enjoyed! I think this has more angst and I don't know if any of it would be considered fluff, but here you go! Ooo! Also, as a very unimportant, having-nothing-to-do-with-this-fanfiction-in-the-least type of comment, I found a biography about S.E. Hinton and her work in the library, so YAY! Also, as a side note, courses have begun again, so updates will probably take longer, unfortunately! Thank you for the reviews and thanks for the views! They make my day! :) Anywho, chapter 49! Enjoy!**

* * *

Soda marched into the house, carrying the sketchpad in hand. As the door slammed behind him, Ryan sat down on the porch, back against the railing and one leg lazily hanging off the steps. His tired, heavy eyes looked up at Steve who searched his pockets for a smoke. It was taking all his strength to keep his head up and his eyes open. Knowing it was a losing battle, he finally gave in and leaned his head back against the wood, eyes closed. He pulled out a pack of kools from his own pocket and held them out.

Giving the kid a questioning look, Steve took one and lit it. "Where'd you get these?"

The corners of his mouth twitched. "Compliments of Pony."

Steve snickered. "In that case, I'll bum some more."

"Take the whole pack."

Steve didn't need much convincing. "He ain't gonna be happy when he finds out you stole them." He pocketed the pack.

Ryan shrugged. "He's going to send himself to an early grave with how much he smokes, if he doesn't catch himself or the house on fire when he falls asleep with one in his hand. I worry sometimes. I don't want anything to happen to him."

Steve grinned. "Well, I'm always happy to take Pony's packs off your hands."

Ryan chuckled. "I'm sorry about the wrench."

Steve shrugged. "Just don't do it again."

"It won't happen again," Ryan assured with a light nod. "Because I ain't going back." He didn't trust himself.

"You think Soda and I would let a great mechanic go? No way, kid. You're coming back if we have to drag you kicking and screaming."

Ryan was quiet for a moment. "Can I ask you a question, Steve?"

"Shoot."

"Do you think your old man loved you?"

Steve sighed, stamping out his cigarette and grabbed a seat next to Ryan. "I'm not a good person to ask about stuff like that. My old man and I never got along." He left out about the whole getting kicked out and his father pretending a couple bucks could make up for it. Ryan remembered that from the theme, but decided not to push it.

"If anything happened to Soda and Darry when you were younger, would you have taken in Ponyboy?"

Steve gave him a funny look. "I dunno. Why?"

Ryan shrugged. "I think you would. I know you didn't always get along and you don't like each other, but you're a gang. And Soda's your best buddy. So, you'd look out for his brother, right?"

"I dunno." Steve had no clue what he was talking about or where this was going, or what one question had to do with another. "Fortunately, I've never had to make that decision."

"Do you think Pony would've let me go with Gopher if he came home?"

Without hesitation, Steve answered. "Yeah, he would've. It would've broken his heart, and the gang's, but if it's what you wanted and made you happy, he would've. Look, I might not understand or get along with the guy, but he cares about you a lot. He'd give his life for you. He loves you like your his own."

"But I'm not." Ryan's bottom lip stuck out, giving what had to be the saddest boo-boo face Steve ever saw. "I'm not his kid."

Steve glanced over to the fifteen-year old, finally realizing the kid was fighting sleep all this time. "Jesus, kid! You look like death warmed over. When was the last time you had a good night's sleep?" Ryan half shrugged a shoulder. "Darry, Soda, and Pony will have my head if you camp out on the porch again." He pulled Ryan to his feet and led him into the house and down the hall to his room.

"Do you still love your father?"

"What is this? Twenty questions?" He snapped, growing uncomfortable and exasperated. After pulling the covers over Ryan, he turned to leave, but Ryan caught his arm, giving him the puppy-dog eyes.

"How is it I can hate a man, but still have a part of me that wishes he loved me?" Sighing heavily, he just told Ryan to shut up with the questions already and go to sleep. But Ryan shook his head, demanding an answer to help him figure this out. "Why do I still want my father to love me when I hate him?"

It reminded Steve of Johnny and how it always bugged him that his parents didn't care more about him or want him. "Because he's your father and fathers are supposed to love their kids."

"Then why doesn't he love me?" Ryan whimpered.

"Because he's an idiot!" Steve told him gruffly. "Now, shut up and go to sleep!" He hit the lights on his way out and Ryan's thoughts swarmed his mind as he fell into a restless sleep.

* * *

Meanwhile, Soda entered the kitchen to find Pony asleep over his work, head in his arms, open book in front of him and a pencil behind his ear with another in his hand. For a moment, Soda was struck by the similarity of position between his younger brother and the kid he considered a nephew. Then he tossed the sketchbook to the table with a loud THUD!

"Two-bit did it!" Pony's head shot up, blinking groggily to find Soda standing in front of him with a rather determined gleam in his eyes. "Oh, hey." Yawning, he rubbed the back of his neck, stiff from the awkward position. "How's Ryan?"

"Not good." Soda folded his arms, nodding to the pad. "He threw a wrench today and almost hit Steve and I."

"He what?"

"You have to tell him, Pony. It's only going to get worse if you don't."

"I already told you. I want to wait until I know for sure it's even a possibility. I don't want to get his hopes up if, for whatever reason, the State decides I can't."

Soda grabbed the chair next to Pony and started showing him Ryan's drawings. "This is what he fears." He flipped to the pictures of the gang dragging Ryan to a prison like building. "And this is what he wants" He turned to the family portrait of Ryan and the gang. "He has to know we're trying. We have to tell him and we have to do it now!"

"Well, you ain't telling him nothing now." Both brothers whirled around to find Steve in the doorway. "He's in his room, asleep."

Soda faced Pony again. "Then when he wakes up. It's time."

Staring down at the drawing, Pony tore at his thumb nail, nodding. "Okay." He glanced up at Steve. "Got a smoke? I can't find mine."

Steve chuckled, shaking his head. "Naw, man. Fresh out."


	50. Officially Reality

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders**

**AN: Thank you for the reviews! :) Here's the next chapter! Enjoy!**

* * *

Ryan stumbled out into the livingroom, rubbing his eyes. "It's alive!" Two-bit laughed, drawing the rest of the gang's attention to the disheveled appearance of the fifteen-year old. His hair stuck out all over the place and his clothes were wrinkled.

"What's going on?" He squinted questioning all of them. A thought crossed his mind and still waking up, he did not have the strength to quell it. Nervously, he tugged at the ends of his sleeves and he held his breath. Soda and Steve most likely told them about the wrench. However, Soda already dealt with it and Steve said not to sweat it. This reminder did little to put him at ease, though.

It didn't help when Pony told him to sit and grabbed himself a seat in front of him on the edge of the coffee table, saying they wanted to talk. This could not be good. That saying was normally the precursor to something horrible. In fact, every bad conversation he could think of started out that way. And Pony didn't sound mad, so the only other possibility was they were going back on their words and promises like he knew they would. He blew it and he was seconds away from a panic attack. He just lost Gopher! He didn't think he could take losing the gang as well!

"Relax, little buddy," Darry put a hand on Ryan's shoulder. "You're not in trouble and we're not mad. We just want to talk." He tried to assure the kid.

"Get on with it, Pone!" Soda flashed is famous grin, unable to sit still. He couldn't be that excited if this was anything close to what Ryan concluded. Unless, Soda didn't care about him like Ryan wanted to believe he did. He dreaded these doubts and unknowns, and it was difficult to battle them when only half awake.

Having a hard time trying to come up with the right way to put this, Pony knew he had to break the news soon or else one of the gang would blurt it out. "How would you like to make your stay here permanent?" Ryan remained still, eyeing him suspiciously. The room was deadly silent waiting for an answer. When none came, he clarified what he meant. "We want to adopt you." The suspicion morphed into surprise, but Ryan, again, was a statue. Pony tried to elucidate more. "Uh, you see, we don't know if we can yet. I still need to hear back from the social worker, but um... we would like to try, if that's okay with you."

"So, is it, Rye?" Soda pressed. "Is it okay with you?"

Ryan turned toward Two-bit and Steve. "Would one of you do me a favor and punch me in the face or pinch my arm or something along those lines?" He stood up suddenly, putting his hands out in front of him and slowly backing out of the room, starting to sound a bit paranoid. "No, better yet I'll just go back to bed because I'm sure one of you will wake me up soon for dinner like always. This is real nice and everything, but I'm getting a little tired of this not being reality, so um...I'm just going to wake up... _NOW_!" He clenched his eyes tight for a second. When he opened them to see himself and the gang still in the living room, he frowned deeply.

Pony got up, put an arm around his shoulders and led him back to the couch. "You aren't dreaming. And you don't have to answer us right away. We don't even know if we can do it, yet. But we just thought it might help you know we mean what we say and we won't send you back."

Startled, Ryan blinked, mouth hanging open. "You want me to be part of your family?"

"You are already part of the family." Pony smiled. "We just want to make it official."


	51. Cease Fire

**Disclaimer: The Outsiders belongs to S.E. Hinton.**

**AN: Once again, I thank you greatly for the reviews and views! :D Now, for this chapter, I've realized something that was essential to novel itself that my story was lacking. To keep true to the original work I decided to add this chapter. Onward we proceed... Enjoy!**

* * *

Soda, Steve, and Ryan were busy in the garage. It seemed that Ryan's grin never left his face and every once in a while, he found himself humming, much to the displeasure of his teachers. Though, he didn't mean to and at least the gang didn't mind. There were other notable changes since Ryan learned they were trying for adoption. He was sleeping a bit better and starting to eat more. According to Pony, all they were waiting for were the papers to go through. And everyone had their fingers crossed, hoping for the best.

A corvair pulled into the garage, or rather was pushed in by a West-end rich kid, red faced, sweaty, disheveled and out of breath. As it finally crossed the entrance, he slumped against the back of it and swiped a hand across his forehead, wiping off the sweat. Ryan, Steve, and Soda watched in amusement as he closed his eyes, trying to regain a normal heart beat and breathing pattern. When he finally noticed his snickering audience, he shot them all an evil glare.

"Ryan, you're up." Steve pushed him toward the Soc.

The laughing grin immediately disappeared. "What?"

"Well," Steve mused, "Soda and I are already working on a car that needs to be done today."

Ryan's frown was growing. "So you or Soda go help… it!" He waved a hand, gesturing to what he felt was a representation of his arch nemesis. "I can work on whatever your car needs." He tried to scurry by them, but Steve blocked his path and turned him around.

"Consider this a lesson in why not to throw wrenches in my garage."

Ryan's shoulder's slouched, remaining rooted to the spot. "But _Steve_," he protested. "I said sorry and you said not to sweat it! Its bad enough I have to go to school with those…_things_!"

Soda used Ryan's head as an arm rest. "Yeah, but now _it_'s on your turf."

At the thought of wielding the upper hand, his face brightened. "Yeah, I've got this," he chirped, knocking Soda's arm off of him and sauntering off to the Soc. He chuckled to himself, a very unsettling, conniving laugh. "Well, well, well," Ryan clasped his hands behind his back and rolled on the balls of his feet with a taunting tone, "Some car troubles, I see."

The Soc rolled his eyes. "_No, not at all. _I just _randomly_ push my car four blocks for the _fun _of it."

"You have an odd sense of fun."

Growling, he sent Ryan a deathly look. "Just fix the damn thing." He was finding that grin irritating.

"What seems to be the problem?"

He groaned, deliberately slowing his speech as though he was talking to an idiot. "It. Won't. Work."

It was Ryan's turn to roll his eyes. "I can see that it won't work. What's wrong with it?"

"How the hell should I know?" The Soc roared. "Just fix it, _Sherlock_!"

"I prefer world-class genius." Ryan grinned wider, popping the hood. The inside was a complete disaster with corrosion on the engine and evident lack of care. Ryan couldn't help but think that if this car was his it would be in much better shape. Though, he supposed, Mr. Richie Rich could just go out and buy another. He shook his head in disgust. No respect or responsibility for anything, damn Soc. Sighing heavily, he straightened up, meeting his foe eye to eye. "It's amazing it's lasted this long."

The Soc waved a dismissive hand, not in the mood for a lecture. "Whatever. Just get the thing running."

Ryan scoffed, pointedly looking at the many different vehicles surrounding them. "We're backed up in here. If you want this car fixed, you're going to have to wait."

His eyes widened and his voice became a desperate crescendo. "I'll pay whatever I have to, but I _need_ this car running."

Shaking his head, Ryan nodded to the phone. "You can call someone to come pick you up, but you're car is going to have to wait. Just because you've got some hundred odd bucks burning a hole in your pocket doesn't give you any right over our other costumers."

Jamming his fists in his pocket, the Soc mumbled, "I can't call anyone."

"Then sucks to be you, but this car ain't getting fixed today." Ryan went to walk passed to another vehicle he'd been working on, with a shrug of his shoulders.

The Soc blocked his way. "You don't understand. My dad will kill me if he finds out about this." He opened up his wallet and withdrew a few hundred bucks, trying to hand it over to Ryan. "I've got more."

Refusing to take the cash, he held his hands up as he went around, what he referred to as '_it_'. "This is one problem money ain't gonna get you out of."

"Come on," the Soc pleaded. "Show some compassion."

Ryan spun around to face him, eyebrow cocked like Two-bit taught him. "You mean like you showed that kid you shoved into a locker or the one you stole the shoes from? You mean like you show me on a daily basis? That kind of compassion?" Ryan shook his head. "I'm not the one who didn't take care of the car. That's on you. I'm not the spoiled brat who upset daddy. What's he gonna do? Take the car away? Ground you for a bit? Boo-hoo, I'm crying over here for you, man." He rolled his eyes. "If you don't like waiting, you can push this heap of scrap metal out of here now."

With the last amount of dignity the Soc could muster, he looked Ryan straight in the eye. "Please."

Reconsidering, Ryan threw a glance at the car once more. That's when his eyes noticed the dog tags hanging from the rearview mirror. Cocking his head to the side, he curiously walked over and examined them more closely. "You know someone who fought in Vietnam?"

The Soc looked down at his feet. "My brother."

Ryan stared at him in disbelief. "But… there's no way he would've been drafted. I mean, your family's so rich he could've easily avoided the draft, gone off to college…"

Bitterly, the Soc cut him off, fists balled at his side. "Yeah, well, car troubles aren't the only problems money can't get you out of." Ryan was still staring at him questioningly, thinking if his family had that kind of money, Gopher would still be alive. But then, how come this kid's brother wasn't? "He chose to enlist. I told him it was crazy. I told him it was suicide. I begged him. But he thought he was so Gung-Ho. He said if America was calling and said she needed him to fight, who was he to say no, to question her. And my parents were so damn proud of him, in his uniform and all. A true patriot, they said. They said he'd make Uncle Sam proud and my old man patted him on the back, telling him to give them hell, to live up to the old family name, that he'd come back a man." He shook his head sadly. "He came back as a corpse in a box."

A realization dawned on Ryan. "We watch the same sunsets," he whispered under his breath. The Soc gave him a funny look. "Alright." He said decidedly, heading toward the engine of the car.

"Alright?" The Soc blinked in surprise.

"I'll get the car running. It ain't gonna fix the problem or nothing and I'm gonna charge you an arm and a leg, but I'll get it running." He set to work, thinking of this Soc in a new light. Suddenly, Ponyboy's theme made a lot more sense. "Tell you what? You lend me a hand and I'll get you out of here faster."

Eager to take him up on the offer, the Soc rolled up his sleeves and stood behind Ryan, completely clueless as he watched over his shoulder. "So, you got a name?"

"Ryan Albright. Hand me a wrench. How about you?"

"Ken. Ken Floyd." He handed over the wrench.

"How about a momentary cease-fire, Ken? At least, until I get this heap of scrap metal running." Ryan held out his hand and Ken shook it in agreement. "I have a brother… had a brother… who was killed in Vietnam too. Didn't feel too hot when you and your buddies started bad-mouthing him."

Ken shook his head. "I didn't join in with that."

"You didn't stop it, either."

Sighing, Ken reached for another tool Ryan needed. "I know what it's like to hear shit like that about someone you care about. But Milton and them didn't mean anything by it. They were just trying to get to you. And you know what it's like with your buds, right?"

"Oh, yeah, sure." Ryan was positive he would become dizzy with how much he rolled his eyes talking to this guy. "Jump off the bridge with them, or rather jump when they tell you. You know, from over here you West-enders sure look like lemmings." He stopped his work again, and scrutinized Ken. "And you don't take offense to what they said? You have a brother over there, too."

"They were just kidding around." He shrugged his shoulders half-heartily.

Ryan snorted, returning to his work. "Some friends, they are. They ditched you, didn't they? Everyone travel in packs, Soc and Greaser alike, but you pushed in this car alone."

"I thought we called a cease-fire!" Ken heatedly reminded Ryan.

"I'm just trying to understand you, is all. I mean, you seem human." Ryan slammed the hood down and turned around to face Ken. "Would _you_ have ditched Milton or the others if one of their cars broke down?"

"Milton and the others had other things going on and like you East-enders are any better?"

Ryan smirked. "As a matter of fact, the people I hang out with would've helped me if I needed it. The people I hang out with know a thing or two about loyalty. I don't think the location has anything to do with it. You would've helped pushed Milton's car and he'd probably not hesitate to call you if he needed a ride. No, it's not location and it's not money either."

Ken folded his arms. "How can you be so sure?"

Ryan nodded to the dog tags. "Because we both lost brothers." And for a moment, a single split second, the dividing lines began to blur.

"I didn't know my brother that well. We never got along much, but I didn't want him to go, you know? I didn't want him to die." Ken told him. "I don't even know why I told you all that about him and my parents. I never told anybody that. Milton would've laughed or called me a wuss or something."

"I get it." For as grateful as Ryan was for Gopher in his life, he was starting to feel that much more appreciative. He got the opportunity to be close with his brother, to know his brother, and while that added a lot of hurt behind the memories, he couldn't imagine what it might have been like to be in Ken's shoes, without someone like Gopher by his side all those years. He was blessed with a brother who was also a good friend and that was more than Ken ever got. "I guess things really are rough all over."

Ken handed over the money and hopped in the car. Instantly, the engine erupted into life. As he pulled out of the garage, he made his hand into a gun and aimed his pointer finger at Ryan. "Cease fire over. Thanks."

"Nice to meet you. I'll see you around."

As the corvair disappeared, Soda snuck up from behind and put Ryan in a headlock, ruffling his hair. "Pony will be proud."


	52. Hanging Out

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders.**

**AN: Woohoo! Another review! Thanks! :D I wasn't sure if I should post this chapter or not... It feels kind of eh, if you know what I mean. But here it is... Before proceeding, though, I should probably warn that humor and insults are not my forte. Also, this story is nearing it's end. Is there anything anybody would like to see happen before it's over? There's no guarantee, but I'll see if I can work it into the story. I'm also planning on at least one chapter where Ryan and Pony talk about the theme, Dally, and Johnny a bit more as suggested by jenna. And I already have the ending planned out, as well. But suggestions are always welcome! Enjoy!**

* * *

The last bell of the day sounded and Ryan was on his way to the parking lot where Two-bit would be waiting to pick him up. His nose was stuck in his sketchbook when he walked straight into a tree.

Looking around sheepishly, he ensured no one saw that. As he picked himself up, cursing the fact he didn't pay attention, he overheard a group of Socs gathered around on the other side of the tree. "Now we've got ourselves a greasy pinata!" The West-enders laughed. "Quick someone grab me a stick! Let's crack him open and see what's inside!"

Ryan peered around the trunk to see Ken handing a thick stick over to Milton. "Probably nothing but trash!" They exploded in laughter as Milton got ready to swing. He snuck closer to get a better look, only to find the same kid he gave the shoes to snagged on a branch, frantically kicking his legs, spouting out a string of curses.

Dropping his backpack and sketchbook, he immediately came up from behind and grabbed hold of the stick. He glanced up at the kid in the branch with a grin. "You know what Socs are made of? Vacant minds and dollar signs."

The whole group turned toward Ryan with vicious expressions, but he held his ground. Ken sunk back, staring at his shoes uncomfortably. Milton had that smug, obnoxious smirk. It was a dangerous look and everyone knew it too. But before he could put whatever nefarious scheme he thought of into action, Ken muttered, "We've gotta go. My dad wants me home on time today. I can't be late."

"So, go." Milton impatiently threw over his shoulder. "If daddy wants you home than be a good little boy and scamper off."

Ryan scoffed, eyes now glued to the stick aimed for his head. Luckily, he dodged one of the swings. "And you call us trash?"

Ken shot Ryan a glare, telling him to keep his mouth shut. "I don't need some hood sticking up for me!" He turned to Milton. "I need a lift. My car died this morning, remember? Come on, man! If I'm not on time, there's no way Dad will let me stay home alone."

"And I care, why?"

"Then that beer blast isn't going to happen."

"So?"

"Meaning Shannon isn't going to happen!"

Grumbling, Milton pointed the stick threateningly at Ken. "Shannon better happen. Go bum a ride off of someone else." Ken wouldn't dare cross him. Though he looked like he wanted to argue, he did as the leader of his group suggested, tossing an apologetic smirk over his shoulder to Ryan.

While Ken and Milton had their little spat, Ryan inched his way closer to the trunk. Just as he began climbing, a hand grabbed him from behind and he fell, smacking his head against the ground. The world spun circles around him as he looked around helplessly for someone to intervene. No such luck. Why was it teachers were _never_ around when he needed them?

By the time the world finally righted itself, he was surrounded by a wall of menacing Socs. The most ominous was Milton wielding that heavy stick. Ryan knew it would hurt and was not looking forward to his unfortunate fate. Retaliation would be impossible. If anything it would expedite the inevitable and the Socs had the upperhand. Normally in a situation of this nature, he would call out for Gopher and his brother, Hopper, and Tre would swoop in. But now who could he call?

The gang said they always had his back. And Two-bit was waiting in the parking lot. He figured it was a long shot, but it was his best hope. He was putting his trust in his gang. As they cornered in on him, he squeezed his eyes shut tight, preparing himself for the blow. Milton brandished the stick and Ryan cried out desperately, "TWO-BIT! Help!"

After a few moments of feeling no stinging or smarting, he cautiously opened one of his eyes to find Milton and his cohorts backing up. The stick was dropped from his hands. Ryan turned, following Milton's gaze.

Much to his relief there was Two-bit, leaning lazily against the tree trunk, black handled switch blade in hand, eyebrow cocked. "We've got a problem here?" Ryan scrambled to his feet, instinctively moving to Two-bit's side.

"No... no problem." Milton nervously chuckled, hands in the air. He hurried off followed by his lemmings.

Ryan released a breath he'd been holding. "You have no idea how glad I am to see you."

Two-bit lifted his eyes to see another kid peering down at him from the branch above. "New hang out?"

The kid scowled. "I'm stuck and ain't fond of heights."

"Just hang on." Two-bit joked. He hoisted Ryan up on his shoulders to help loosen the hold the branches had on the kid. After a few moments of fiddling with cloth and wood, the kid fell with a loud THUD and an UMPH! "Nice of you to drop by, kid." Ryan snickered at Two-bit's humor. They offered him hands to help him up.

"It's Cody. Me and my gang are hanging at the Dingo." He picked himself up and brushed himself off, ignoring their hands.

"Better than trees." Two-bit commented.

Swiftly, Cody turned on his heel and walked off. "And thanks. For getting me down and the shoes." He threw a half-smirk over his shoulder in Ryan's direction.

Two-bit led the way back to the car. "You got one of Pony's packs on you?" He found it funny that the kid kept swiping those kools. He always had a proud gleam in his eye when Ryan would hand them over. He had to admit the kid was handy with the five-finger discount.

"Any news on those adoption papers yet?" It was always the first question out of Ryan's mouth.

Two-bit shook his head. "But one way or another, you're going to be stuck with us."


	53. Tough and Gallant

**Disclaimer: S.E. Hinton owns The Outsiders.**

**AN: Thank you for all the views and reviews! I'm glad you are all enjoying this story and there are still at least two chapters left after this one. The next chapter will be the birthday suggestion. ****jenna**** suggested some more talk of the theme, Johnny and Dally. This chapter contains a little bit of Johnny and the theme and some more of Dallas. Also, I'm predicting fluff for the next chapter as well. Enjoy!**

* * *

Ryan lingered in the doorway of the livingroom as Pony read, stretched out on the couch. Something was clearly on his mind and Pony suddenly felt his kid's eyes on him. "What is it, kiddo?" He turned to find Ryan with the theme and sketchbook in his hands, hesitating. Closing the book, he gave the fifteen-year old his undivided attention.

"I..." Ryan wasn't sure how to ask this. He held up the theme. "I was reading your theme again." Pony scooted over, inviting him to sit. "And... and I understand it a bit better now. I mean, the whole sunset thing and Dallas Winston. Do you think he was right?"

Pony thought for a moment. "About being tough?"

Ryan nodded. "In a place like this you gotta be tough, right? You're safer if you're tough. You're impenetrable. _Nothing can touch you_."

Pony didn't like what he was hearing. He wanted more for Ryan. He didn't want Ryan to become tough or have the neighborhood change him into something else. He thought back to that time when he was fourteen, after Dally and Johnny died, at that little neighborhood grocery store when he threatened to cut up those Socs with a busted pop bottle. At the time he didn't get what Two-bit meant by not getting tough because he wasn't like the rest of them, but he got it now. And neither was Ryan. It was then he made a decision.

"But," Ryan went on. "Dally didn't follow his own advice. I mean, yeah he was tough and everything, but..." He wasn't sure how to form the thought into words. "But, he did let something touch him. And it was because he cared so much for Johnny that he... that he went down under street lights. So is it better to be tough and not care?"

He looked toward Pony for answers, but Pony wasn't sure what to tell him. He didn't have all the answers. And while he tried to figure out what to say, Ryan continued.

"Johnny was your best friend. Why did Dally snap and you didn't? How come you didn't go down under street lights, too?"

"I had my brothers." Pony automatically answered.

"Dally had the gang." Ryan countered.

"I didn't like him when I was younger, but I respected him. He was my friend. The thing about him, though, was he only cared about Johnny. You took Johnny away and you took away the only good left in his world. The gang couldn't survive without Johnny Cade."

"But it did." There was still the Curtis brothers, Steve, and Two-bit.

"In a way. But we lost something we ain't ever gonna get back."

Ryan lowered his eyes. "When does it stop hurting?" Pony was startled by the question. "They were both family. When did the pain go away?"

"It doesn't." Pony told him truthfully. "You learn to live with it, to do something with it."

"Like writing a theme or taking me in. Giving back." Ryan tugged at his sleeves. "Why didn't you end it with both of them living? It was your theme. You could've ended it however you wanted. So why didn't you?"

"I could've." Pony agreed. "But that's not what happened. You change the ending, you change the whole point of the story."

Ryan considered this. "I sometimes draw what I wish would've happened, how I wanted things to end up."

"Such as the portrait of the whole gang you gave us for Christmas?" It was no secret Ryan wished Johnny and Dally didn't die. "Or," he opened Ryan's sketchbook to a drawing of an older brother standing in a doorway, a duffel bag by his feet and dog tags around his neck, hugging a younger brother. "Gopher coming home?"

"I love it here and I love you guys..." Ryan hurriedly tried to explain, but Pony stopped him.

"Ryan it's okay for you to wish things ended differently. It's okay to wish this happened," he pointed to drawing, "for wanting him to return." He wanted to kill the people at that group home for drilling into his brain that it somehow wasn't okay. "It don't mean you love us any less and it don't make us love you any less. Savvy?"

"And wanting this adoption to go through ain't somehow betraying Gopher?"

Pony shook his head. "No, of course not. It don't mean you love him any less, either."

At this reassurance, Ryan leaned back against the arm Pony rested along the back of the couch and he started to relax. "You think he died gallant like Johnny and Dally?" He met Pony's eye.

"I think he died a hero."


	54. Happy Birthday

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders.**

**AN: As always, I greatly appreciate all of you who have taken precious time out of your busy schedules to read and/or review! After this chapter, I'm planning one final chapter... and maybe an epilogue, but I'm not sure. I don't know if any of this is considered fluff but I tried to make this chapter filled with some fluffy-goodess as requested by ****Guest****. This chapter was suggested by The ****OutsiderWeasleyJay****! Now, let's celebrate Ryan's birthday! Huzzah!**

* * *

All week nobody would've guessed is was Ryan's birthday. All week the gang tried to get some reaction out of the kid. They inquired what he would like, how'd it feel to be another year older, what he would like to do. Ryan would respond by shrugging a single shoulder. "I dunno." They didn't understand it.

"Well, what do you usually do for your birthday?" Pony finally asked at breakfast one day.

Again, Ryan shrugged. "I dunno." He began playing with his food, pushing it around his plate. "Why are you all making such a big deal out of this? It ain't nothing special. It's just another day."

"Whatcha talking about, Rye?" Soda protested. "It ain't just another day!"

Ryan shook his head. "Yeah, it is."

"You're another year older, kiddo." Darry told him. "That's worth celebrating."

Ryan gave them all funny looks. "It is?"

"Didn't Gopher ever do anything for your birthday?" Pony asked.

Ryan thought for a moment. "When we were younger he used to pick dandelions for me, one for each year of my age. When we got older, he'd light matches for me to blow out instead. Once he swiped some rolls from the school cafeteria, carved a letter in each of them to spell out Happy B-Day and stuck the matches in them. Of course he accidentally caught them on fire which resulted in the fire department being called. Other than that we couldn't ever afford anything else. And it wasn't like my old man gave a hang."

"What about last year?" Steve ventured.

Ryan grimaced at the thought. "When the other kids found out it was my birthday they decided to beat me up. And the people at the group home didn't care."

"No cake?" Two-bit, like everyone, was shocked. Ryan shook his head. "No presents?" Again, Ryan shook his head. "Kid, you've been missing out."

"Well, we're doing something special." Pony decided.

Ryan shrugged. "You don't have to."

"I said." Pony told him firmly with finality, "we're doing something special. Savvy?"

"Yeah, sure." The gang had a few ideas.

* * *

The morning of Ryan's birthday, Darry, Soda, and Pony tip-toed into Ryan's room, shushing one another. Darry counted silently to three on his fingers and they all jumped on the bed and began tickling Ryan. "Rise and Shine! Wake up, birthday boy!" He tried to squirm away from their feather-light touches, but to no avail.

"UNCLE!" He cried between shrills of laughter. "UNCLE! I'M AWAKE! I SWEAR!"

When they finally let up and let him catch his breath, he tried to glare at them, but it was a losing battle. Stretching his arm behind him, he grabbed a strong hold on his pillow and when they were least expecting it, sent it flying into Pony's face. "Oomph!" It sent him falling backwards off the bed.

As Pony picked himself up, his two brothers clutching their stomachs in laughter and the now sixteen-year old grinning brilliantly in triumph, he grabbed hold of the pillow and sent it back in Ryan's direction. Ryan ducked just in time, and it hit Soda in the face. Everyone grabbed a pillow and it was every man for himself. White feathers floated everywhere.

Once more out of breath, they collapsed upon the bed. "Truce?" Ryan asked, smiling from ear to ear. The three brothers exchanged a look and smacked their pillows into Ryan's face one more time before agreeing. Just then, they heard the door slam and the Curtis brothers and Ryan came out into the kitchen. Two-bit grabbed Ryan and started swinging him about and he shoved the sixteen-year old into Steve who slapped him on the back, all the while the two bellowing out "_Happy birthday to you! You belong in a zoo! You look like a monkey and you smell like one too!_"

They sat him down at the kitchen table and Soda, bouncing, brought out the chocolate cake. _Happy Birthday, Rye!_ was written in a rainbow of icing. The entire cake was a wild mix of colored icing and sprinkles. Just looking at it made Darry and Pony's teeth ache, but Soda's cakes were always Ryan's favorite. That broad grin seemed permanently etched on Ryan's face all day. He glanced up at them in disbelief and gratitude. Already this birthday beat all the rest. "You didn't have to do all of this!"

They waved his comment off dismissively, assuring him they wanted to and telling him it was a requirement for such an occassion. "But that's not all." Steve said, digging into his slice of cake.

"There's more?" Ryan couldn't believe they actually had more planned. The cake itself was special and meant a lot.

"You don't have to go off to school today!" Pony smiled

Ryan instantly threw his arms around Pony. "Thank you!" He cried. That was a gift in itself.

"We're all also taking off from work and school." Darry informed him.

"And we tried to get the White House to fly their flags at half mast." Two-bit joked. "But that's only for when you turn eighteen."

"After all," Soda ruffled his hair. "You only turn sixteen once, Rye."

They left the rest of the day up to him. He cocked an eyebrow just as Two-bit taught him, arms folded. "Anything?"

"Anything." They confirmed.

He decided on a few different games of cards. Gathered around the living room, he beat them at Hearts, Spoons, War, Trash, and Mao. By the third game of Mao, everyone complained less about not knowing the rules and started catching on. When Ryan ran out of card games, he grabbed the football and they headed to the lot. Immediately, Ryan called Darry and Pony on his team, knowing that Darry was the best player and that Pony was the fastest. Needless to say, with a team like that, Two-bit, Steve, and Soda lost.

Around dinner time, they called it quits. Pony explained he made reservations at the diner. They all also told him that if they caught him looking at the prices they'd skin him alive, birthday or not. "Fine," he challenged them, head held high and arms folded, "Then I'll order the most expensive thing on the menu."

"Good!" Pony put him in a playful headlock and ruffled his hair. "We'll hold you to that!" Ryan laughed.

When they entered the diner, he understood what Pony meant about reservations. One of the booths had balloons and streams tied to it. Without a chance to glance at the menu and once the waitress was done gushing over it being his birthday and flirting with Soda, Pony simply said, "He'll have the most expensive thing you've got."

Ryan wasn't sure if it was just that the food was really good or if he was just having the time of his life, but his meal tasted better than ever. He was having the greatest time he had in a long time. And everything was amazing and fantastic, but he couldn't help but feel something was missing. He began to slow down eating and his smile began to lessen.

"What's the matter, Rye?" Soda asked. "Ain't ya having fun?"

"Yeah. It's great." He said earnestly but his smile was half-hearted. "I really appreciate everything. Honest." He didn't want them thinking he didn't.

Pony pulled something out of his pocket. "Maybe this'll cheer you up." He handed a small wrapped package over to Ryan. "Normally this would wait until after the cake and ice cream, but I think we could make an exception."

Ryan blinked, simply holding the small gift, gaping at it. He couldn't remember the last time he received a gift on his birthday and wasn't expecting it. He thought spending the whole day with the gang and not going to school was the gift.

"You're supposed to open it." Steve smirked.

Slowly, he slid his finger underneath the tape, breaking the seal. As careful as he could, he unfolded the colorful paper to reveal a tiny box. Everyone was on the edge of their seats, watching him closely. He slid off the lid and pushed the tissue paper to the side. Ryan's eyes widen and his breath caught. Inside were dog tags. Immediately, he took the chain out, holding them tightly in his fist. "How... how did you..." He was speechless as he looked at Pony in shock.

Pony grinned. "That's from Gopher." Ryan's eyes began to grow wet. "We called around and managed to get our hands on those. He would've wanted you to have them." Pony took the chain and slipped the dog tags over Ryan's head. "Now you'll always have him with you." Ryan's smile took up his whole face. Now, it was perfect.

"Unfortunately we can't give you our gift yet." Soda slung an arm around the kid's shoulders as Ryan wiped his eyes.

"You'll get it later." Darry added.

The waitress brought out the cake. The usual song with a Two-bit twist and a lot of chachachas was sung. Two-bit dodged some of Ryan's playful swings at his humorous comments. And the candles were lit. "Make a wish."

Ryan glanced around at the gang, hand still on Gopher's dog tags. "I already have everything I could ever wish for."

* * *

**AN: The whole Mao thing makes sense if you ever played it. It's a pretty fun game, but when it's your first time playing, it is frustrating as hell and takes a while to learn! One more chapter to go and possibly an epilogue! :D**


	55. Where The Streets Are Paved With Gold

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders. S.E. Hinton owns The Outsiders.**

**AN: Here it is. The last and final chapter of my first fanfiction. I want to thank you all. I really had fun writing this and I enjoyed hearing your feedback! I'm glad so many people enjoyed reading this as much as I was having fun writing this. Ryan was a fun character to write and I'm sorry to see this story end. I might make a sequel, but I don't know yet. Thank you for all the reviews, views, favorites, and follows!**

* * *

Ryan rushed home with a huge grin on his face, backpack swung over his shoulder, Gopher's dog tags around his neck and his report card stuffed in the sketchbook he was carrying. It was hard to believe that it had been a whole year he'd been staying with Pony and the gang. They truly felt like family and it helped that he had Gopher's blessing. In Gopher's letter, which he always carried with him, his brother told him he deserved a good family who loved and cared for him and if the opportunity ever arose, he should take it. Gopher said that's all he ever wanted for his brother, that and for Ryan to chase his dreams.

Gopher would've been proud of him. It was a hell of a year, but he made it through. Not only did he survive, but he also passed all his classes with flying colors. He knew the gang would be proud of him, too, especially Pony and Darry. It really did seem that everything, for once, was going perfectly.

He raced inside, slamming the door behind him and immediately his smile disappeared. His face darkened and fell. His sketchbook dropped from his hand and his backpack slipped to the floor. He thought his knees were going to give out and he was breathless, his heart scarcely beating. As he glanced around the room at the suit cases filled with his stuff, tears fell freely from his eyes. "No," he begged the empty room. "No. Please."

The gang entered the living room just then and Ryan's tear-stained face shot up toward them. "The papers didn't go through and you're sending me back." He knew it was too good to be true. He knew he shouldn't have trusted them. And he was angry at himself for being so foolish as to get his hopes up and put his faith in them. He was angry at them for not keeping their word, for sending him back. But mostly, he was heartbroken and devastated.

"No, no, no." Pony enveloped him in his arms. "We told you we ain't ever sending you back. I promised you I always got you and I ain't ever letting you go."

Sniffling, Ryan wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "Then why's my stuff all packed?"

"We got a surprise for you, Rye. That's all." Soda flashed his famous grin, getting Ryan to crack a small one of his own. "We love you too much to ever send you back."

Two-bit snorted. "Yeah, kid. You didn't think you'd get rid of us that easily, did you?"

Ryan gave them all a questioning look, searching each of their grinning faces for some type of answer. "I don't understand."

"The papers went through. We got ourselves a nephew." Darry knelt down, spotting Ryan's report card. He let out a low whistle and exclaimed proudly, "A smart nephew at that!"

Soda clapped him on the shoulder. "Hey, those are great grades, Rye!"

Ryan still didn't get it. "But... then why am I all packed?"

"Remember that gift?" Steve asked.

Ryan nodded and Pony pulled a letter out of his pocket, handing it over to Ryan. Ripping it open, he found a brochure to some type of art school and an acceptance letter. Now he was even more confused.

Pony smiled. "Ryan, you are going to a top notch art school. We sent in a portfolio of your work and pulled our resources to pay for the tuition. You start in two weeks. That's our gift to you."

"But this school isn't in Tulsa."

"No," Pony agreed. "It isn't. It's in Hollywood." Ryan looked at the gang in disbelief. "We're going to Hollywood. You've got a gift, baby, and you deserve more than this neighborhood. I decided we had to get you out of here. You're going places and it was always your dream. Gopher wanted you to live out your dream. We're just making that dream a reality."

He blinked in shock. "But... but... your family is here."

"_Our_ family is." Pony nodded. "But we'll still see them all the time."

"You'll visit us here and we'll visit you there, Rye." Soda promised.

"Don't worry about that." Darry told him. "We'll figure it out."

"Ryan, kiddo, baby, we're going to Hollywood!" Pony let that sink in.

"We're going to Hollywood." The letter was in one hand, the brochure in the other and he hugged Pony tightly, jumping up and down in excitement, an ear-to-ear full-toothed brilliant grin exploding across his brightened face. "We're going to Hollywood! WE'RE GOING TO HOLLYWOOD!" Soda and Darry joined the hug.

Pony whispered in Ryan's ear, "This is where you call shotgun."

The End


End file.
